Bon Cop Bad Cop 2 Page #3

Lives in Switzerland now.

- And Jonathan?

- Your guess is as good as mine.

Last I heard, he was in Montreal.

- You want me to find him?

- Oh, Dave, finding people is easy for me.

Communicating with them,

apparently, I haven't mastered yet.

- Kids aren't easy.

Gabrielle is living

in my old apartment upstairs.

- That's wonderful, no?

- It would be, if it

weren't for Cousin Itt.

- Cousin Itt?

- Her boyfriend.

It's like all he does is grow hair.

(Grunting)

(Laughing)

It's hard to tell

if he's speaking or burping.

Gabrielle's good.

She applied to Nicolet.

- The police academy!

- Mm-hmm!

All right, I have to go!

I only have a couple hours to find a

pickup truck. Well, I'm right behind you.

Don't forget to put your earpiece in.

- So you'll be in my head 24/7?

- Well, I might give you some rest

from time to time,

considering it's been

uninhabited for so long.

(Laughing)

- Wow!

The Ontarian grew a sense of humour!

You've changed, man!

I'm worried about you!

- You're full of sh*t!

That's not Price's truck!

- You don't believe me?

Check out what was inside!

His new mask!

Check it out! It's awesome!

(All laughing)

Price is a man of few words.

Now he'll be speechless for months!

Hey, Mike!

Listen to this! You'll die laughing!

- The whole building heard

your story already.

And you'll tell it 40

more times anyway!

- Ah, Mike!

You're a ray of sunshine!

You should do ads for orange juice!

- You have to bring his mask back!

He'll be off his game without it!

- You want me to go up to him

after practice and say:

"Excuse me, Mr. Price.

I stole your truck, and this was inside.

I know goalies are as superstitious

as bingo ladies,

so I brought it back so you don't

end up puking everywhere."

- Put it in the mail.

- I'll bring it to him.

- You think I'd give it to you?

- Sure!

- In two weeks, I'll find it

at the flea market! (Scoffing)

He once sold

his sister's washer and dryer...

for three mags!

What are you gonna do with three mags?

The eyes aren't right.

- And you'd never seen him before?

- First time.

That's good!

I'm sure they were the big clients

I was telling you about.

They were so young, though!

The oldest might've been 25.

- I still can't get my head around this.

Why cars? Why not drugs?

- Because there's a demand!

There's a market for everything.

- You know you can actually buy

clean urine on the Internet?

- Then, I'm surprised there's no

high-school-diploma pushers in Quebec!

(Both chuckling)

- OK, let's find out where they're from.

- Come on, goddammit!

You think you're so cool

with your shitty firewall!

If I shove this up your ass,

what will you do?

- That's MC, our computer whiz.

MC, David.

- Some cowboy move, stealing Price's truck,

but I like your style.

You and me are going to make

a f***ing dangerous team!

- A team?

- That's right!

I'm your eyes, your ears,

your hands, your everything!

But what I'm trying to do -

what I will do, goddammit!

Is hack into the system

at the Sopranos' garage.

I can see in that look

you're wondering how, right?

- Oh no. That's not what I'm wondering.

- Who has poles and wires everywhere?

Who?

Bell and Hydro-Qubec. Boom!

If I hack into their

system and bypass it...

Come on, baby! Allez!

Bang! Yes, f***er!

I've got cameras!

Who's the boss? Who's the genius?

Take that, Steve Jobs!

You wanted a Macintosh?

I'll give you my Macintosh!

Take that!

Oh, yeah, Bill Gates?

You thought you knew everything?

(MC grunting)

All right! Ha ha!

As of now, we're a team!

I need help with the computers.

Their security is tight.

- I don't know anything about computers.

It's easy. Just take

pictures of their system.

Oh, OK.

- Computers, wiring,

external hard drives, modems...

Whatever you can. Name it.

- Sure. Hello, Minnie Mouse?

I'm undercover, you know.

You think I can walk around

snapping pictures with my phone?

- He's cute. You're cute.

(Exhaling sharply)

(Chuckling)

- I need your help.

Can you get this back to Carey Price?

If they start losing because of it,

the city will go nuts,

and people will lose their jobs!

- Hmm...

- Uh...

Sorry, my mistake.

Leafs fan.

I can't trust you with this!

Is there anyone from Montreal here?

Anyone?

Non, non, f*** you, toi!

(Whispering):
Oh wow!

- I can't find the words.

- Really f***ing weird, but awesome!

- OK.

- David, your camera's too low. Get it up.

Perfect.

- OK, guys...

I know we're asking a lot here,

but this is your time to

step up, make your mark.

To keep you motivated,

Sylvio has doubled everybody's fee.

- Nice!

- If you think you're being followed,

don't come here.

Ditch the car and call me at the bar.

Don't call my cell. Is that clear?

- What if we're arrested?

- OK, look, anything

happens to you out there,

I want you to remember I got your bail...

- That's DiPietro.

- as long as you keep

your f***ing mouth shut.

(Both chuckling)

Now, for those of you

who don't know me well yet,

I'm actually quite a nice guy...

until I'm not.

So, here's what makes me not:

You talk about the job

outside of these 4 walls. Yeah?

You know, you shoot your mouth off

to impress your buddies, get laid, huh?

(Chuckling)

Oh, you know, another thing

that really gets me

is when you don't show your face

when I expect to see it.

- What happens when you're not a nice guy?

(Laughing and stammering)

- Who the f*** is this guy?

(All chuckling)

(Martin):
No! No!

Not now, David!

(Man coughing)

(Groaning)

(Man whimpering)

(Panting)

(Laughing)

- Any other questions?

(Man coughing)

I'm serious!

You wanna go, now's the time.

Great!

Let's go.

Hey! Help up this surfer boy.

He's one of the team now.

Let's go. Help him up!

- The kid's OK. He's gonna be OK, David.

I need those pictures.

David, I really need those pictures.

(Knocking on door)

- Is this a bad time?

- Is there a problem?

- No, I just wanted to ask Mike

if he had any special requests.

- Yeah, I'll print them up.

- He's moving too much.

I can't get a decent frame.

- David, your head's moving too much.

When you're on target,

try to hold still for a couple of seconds.

OK, David, I don't want

to be a bugger, but go...

You OK?

- Sure.

It's the pain. It's like

an electric shock sometimes.

Give the Miatas to the new guys.

I want the high-paying stuff.

- Just grab the paper and get to it!

OK, David, just get me a shot

from behind the computer.

No! What is he doing?

I don't wanna see that guy's face.

- Is there a problem?

- F*** that guy!

- A big problem.

- You can do it! Come on, David!

Come on! Yes!

Perfect, OK!

That's the good stuff! Get closer! Closer!

- What are you doing?

- Yes! We got it!

Tabarnak! It took you long, bud!

- Michel...

Do I need to make a spare key

every time I bring you a car?

Thanks, Boss. Thanks, Michel.

(Martin):
We've got it. Good work, David.

- Can you ask your overexcited poodle

to stop barking while I'm working?

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