Boomerang Page #3

President of Marketing for Chantress.

Good morning. Thank you.

I know, but I'm director of marketing for

Lady Eloise, and we are acquiring you.

But I had a very good indication

from someone that the job was mine.

- Really? From whom?

- From Lady Eloise. Lady Eloise.

- Really?

- Yes.

Marcus, Lady Eloise

doesn't make any decisions.

She's the name on the package.

- No, it's her company. The Lady Eloise.

- She hasn't run it for 15 years.

All of the decisions are made

by the board of directors in Paris.

But it's Lady Eloise.

She has no power.

She's a very sweet woman.

She's a little detached from reality.

You should see the way she just...

she throws herself

at young, handsome, virile men.

Are you tryin' to imply that I hit it?

No, I see...

- Marcus, darling.

- How you doin', Lady Eloise?

I don't have any panties on.

Lady Eloise, please, we have a meeting.

Can we just please go?

I'm sorry.

It's warm in here.

Just cos somebody takes off their

drawers, don't mean I did somethin'.

- So, yo, man, you gonna quit, right?

- Of course he's gonna quit, man.

That's right. Say

"Look, girl, I'm outta there".

That's what I'm thinkin' about doin'.

I'm thinkin' about steppin'...

There she is, right there.

- That's her?

- Yeah.

Psych. Yo, you can't quit, man.

You gotta stay.

- Yeah, she's bad.

- Hello, Marcus.

- Hello, Jacqueline.

- You look great.

- And so do you.

- Thank you.

This is my man Tyler,

and this is Gerard. Jacqueline.

This is Angela Lewis. She works in

our art department. She's very talented.

I think the two of you should

probably be working together.

- Excuse me, Jacqueline. It's that time.

- Thank you, Todd. Nice meeting you.

Marcus, would you join me

for a second? Thanks.

Come on, girl. Get on.

Ladies and gentlemen, I have

a very exciting announcement to make.

Since 1948, the name Lady Eloise has

been synonymous with glamour, grace,

sensuality, and stunning natural beauty.

In the next century,

that tradition continues.

Introducing the new face

of Lady Eloise cosmetics: Strang.

Yes.

- Hey.

- Hi.

- How are you?

- Good. You look lost. Can I help you?

I'm just looking for Jacqueline,

basically, is what I'm doing.

You're interested in her, right?

- Now, what would make you say that?

- Most men are. She's fantastic.

I mean, if I were a guy, I would

probably be interested in Jacqueline.

- If you were a guy.

- Not that I have those thoughts,

because I don't, I'm just saying she's

attractive and I would go out with her.

Women do stuff like that. You say

"She's cute" or "Her hair's nice",

but guys don't go "Look at his

shoulders". We don't do that.

Sure you have. You've seen a movie,

and you've seen a man and you've said

"There is a nice-looking man."

You have.

I can't believe we're havin'

this conversation.

I saw Billy Dee Williams

in Lady Sings the Blues.

He came down the steps,

and I thought he was cool,

but I didn't wanna get with him,

you know. That's a whole entire...

Wait, I have someone you should meet.

Gerard. I think I met someone

that's perfect for you.

Why don't you guys come chitchat? I...

Hi.

Good evening, boss.

Please do not call me that.

I want you to think of me

as your colleague.

So tell me something. Are you excited

about working with Strang?

Stop. You know I didn't come up here

to talk about no Strang.

I came up here to talk to you about us.

I'm rapping. This is my mack-daddy vibe

I'm giving you, in all of its splendour.

- What's up?

- Really?

Yes. I mean, eleganz a

mack daddy of the month.

I see. Well, let me get a good look.

Check it. Just like Jet magazine.

- Whassup?

- You are absolutely wonderful.

But I think that we should kind of

make this clear right from the start,

so there's no misunderstanding.

You see, I don't date men I work with.

- Well, then, I quit.

- You can't quit

because I need you.

No, hon, wait one sec.

You have an eyelash. It's gonna

go in your eye. Wait. Come here.

- Are you all right? Huh?

- Yeah, I'm fine.

- Tryin' to seduce me.

- What?

- That was very seductive.

- What?

- You know...

- You had something in your eye.

- I saved your eye.

- No, no, no, no, no.

I know what it's like when

you have somethin' in your eye.

Your mother opens your eye and blows.

Your eyeball comes out.

It was never like you just did.

Come on. That was very seductive.

No, no, no, no, no, no, no.

No, no, no. No.

And let me assure you of something.

When I seduce you,

if I decide to seduce you,

don't worry, you'll know.

- Yo, Marcus.

- Hey, man.

Me and the minimum-wage

brothers in the mailroom

wanna know how long do you think it'll

take you to bone that new executrix.

I need to know cos we got

a little office-pool thing.

Look, that's very crass.

Miss Broyer and I are colleagues,

and I have great respect for her.

It's professional. Totally professional.

So what you sayin', man?

It's gonna take a week?

Not you, Marcus, you the man.

- I hate it.

- But this fragrance tested very well.

Jacqueline, I said I wanted

the essence of sex.

- Yes.

- Well, I think this is it.

You would.

But let me show you...

what I'm talking about.

- Unbelievable.

- This...

is the essence of sex.

Lloyd. Come on, Lloyd. Wait, Lloyd.

Lloyd, man. Lloyd.

Lloyd, look, wait. Look, wait, hold it.

Come on, man. Wait, wait, wait.

The fragrance is fine.

Nobody's changin' anything.

That woman doesn't

deserve her own fragrance.

Do you think Liz Taylor would have

thrown her panties in my face?

You could ask her, Lloyd.

Look, it was a joke.

I'm just tryin' to be... I'm being funny.

Come on, look... All right, Lloyd?

Marcus. You're a devil.

I love you. Come on back.

Please! You make me feel ridiculous.

It's mon image, c'est mon visage.

Alors. And you, where you been, you?

- I had to go...

- Shut up. Look at this.

This is ridiculous.

Why are my concepts being ignored?

I'm not a fool.

I know what the people want.

They want to be shocked, they want to

be stunned, and they want to be jolted.

So, I have prepared a list

of names for the fragrance.

"Wet Spot". No, sorry.

I crossed out that one.

"Love Puss". "Pig Puke".

- "Afterbirth".

- After what?

"Afterbirth".

- I'm sorry, I thought you said "bath".

- No. It's English. B-l-R-T-H. Birth.

I was just making a distinction

between "birth" or "bath".

- Birth, birth, birth.

- Thank you, darling.

Don't make fun of me, OK?

My English is not so good.

"Steel v agina".

- You understand that one.

- Yeah.

"Steel v agina" - marvellous.

What do you think?

- I...

- Those are really creative.

- Thank you.

- But the name of this fragrance

has to be something

that catches the eye.

It has to incite passion,

and it has be electric,

and it has to say glamour,

and it has to say sexy.

It has to say smart. It has to...

Wait a minute.

Strang.

Your name is all of those things.

You're powerful, you're glamorous,

you're sexy, you're intelligent.

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