Boomerang Page #4

That's what we should call

the perf... Strang. Strang.

- Strang.

- Strang.

- Strang.

- Strang.

OK, OK, OK, OK.

- I like it.

- Strang.

Strang.

Strut, girl, strut.

Go on, girl. It's you, girl.

Work it, girl. Strang girl.

Thank you for introducing me

to Gerard. We're goin' out tonight.

Now, that's some good news.

That's good news. Great.

You do realise we're never

gonna be able to control her.

Why would you wanna control Strang?

We'll get more coverage that way.

Strang is buck wild.

Yes, you're probably right.

We've got this meeting

in New Orleans on the 24th.

All of the sales reps are gonna be there.

There's a lot of work to be done.

Yeah. OK, so, we'll have dinner

or somethin', go over it.

Marcus.

- What?

- Come on.

Stop. Excuse me. Excuse me.

You're... Wait a minute, wait a minute.

If we were both men,

we could have a business dinner.

You're the one flippin' this into

a man-woman thing. I said dinner,

and let's discuss our workload.

That's what I'm talking about.

- Just dinner?

- Just our workload over a meal.

We've got a hell of a load.

- OK.

- Dinner?

- Dinner.

- OK, I'll see you at dinner.

Great.

- Hey.

- Hey. You're here. I was gonna leave.

- I didn't think anyone was home.

- I'm sorry. I dozed off.

Come on in.

- You look great. You're all dressed up.

- You're lookin' casually fine tonight.

- Let me get that coat for you.

- Thank you.

v ery nice.

Marcus, this is a very nice place

you have here.

Thank you very much.

Thank you. Check out over here.

- That's a big, wonderful bed.

- Yeah, well, I need my space.

- Yeah.

- Cool. Music.

Have a look around.

Go check out upstairs.

What you're trying to say is,

Marcus is a...

A ho. He's a straight-up ho.

- Don't... Come on, stop.

- He's a no-good barking mutt.

- Really?

- Nothin' really happened between us...

- She's crazy.

- No, this is very interesting.

- She's bugged.

- v ery interesting.

I ain't crazy. Hey, girlfriend.

Don't let him do it to you. He got a plan.

What, you 'bout my size, my height,

my weight? Doggy style.

Doggy style. I know, girlfriend. I'm tryin'

to help you out. It's a sister thing.

Damn.

- Wow, you look great.

- Thank you.

You look neat.

- Thanks.

- Come on in.

- Yeah. These are for you.

- Thank you.

This is wild. Man, did you do

all the decoration yourself?

Every bit. I know you think

it's a little weird...

- No, no, no.

- It's really...

- It's eclectic. Yeah.

- Eclectic, yeah.

- So you like it?

- v ery interesting.

That's a mask, a Goli mask.

I got it from Africa.

That's weird. I didn't know

Africans were into hockey.

No, no, no, no, no.

Goli is the name of the tribe. The tribe.

It's a joke.

You know, the secret to my salmon is

the rosemary in the butter sauce. Cos...

Excuse me?

You were saying something?

I use fresh rosemary on my salmon.

That's why it has that...

I'm sorry, Marcus.

My mind is actually someplace else.

The Knicks game starts in a minute. Do

you mind if we eat in front of the Tv?

- No, not at all. Sure.

- No? Great.

OK, do you want Italian, or Indian?

- So, like, women like guys that just...

- Yeah. Decide.

All right, I'm gonna decide.

I will choose Chinese.

- No.

- That's cool. Whatever you say.

Sorry.

- I'm bein' indecisive.

- Yes. You're being indecisive.

Can I ask you, like,

a personal question?

- Sure.

- Do you like kids?

I love kids. I paint kids.

So, do you wanna have a lot

of kids when you get married?

I want a huge family.

At least ten children.

Ten children?

That's not a family.

That's an African village.

This is absolutely ridiculous. Are you

watchin' this? This is incredible.

I'm goin' to get some espresso.

You want some?

No. No, no, thanks.

Listen, Marcus. While you're up,

will you grab me a beer?

Thanks.

All right, I had a wonderful evening.

- Thank you. So did I.

- Even though we never got to eat.

I know, but next time,

I'll take control. I'll order.

- So, next week, dinner?

- You got it.

Followed by hot, butt-naked sex?

Just kidding. I'm just kidding.

So, now's the most difficult

part of the evening. Kiss goodnight.

I know. But I got an idea. Count from

five backwards real fast, and go for it.

- All right. Close your eyes.

- Go.

Five, four, three, two, one, go.

God, I'm sorry. I missed.

- I guess I'll have to do it again.

- No. I'll do it.

OK.

- Goodbye.

- Night, Angela.

- Night. Thank you.

- See you next week.

Bye.

Adios.

Bye.

It's Korean for "I'm sorry I shot you, but

I thought you were robbing my store".

Bye-bye.

What an incredible evening.

Did you see Jordan's last shot?

The man must've been 60ft up, huh?

Yeah, he really can jump.

Want me to come get a cab

with you or somethin'?

No. No. I'm fine.

- But you can walk me to the elevator.

- What a treat.

- Yo, man, she a lesbo.

- Man, the term is gay, all right, Tyler?

Just cos she won't sleep with you

doesn't mean she's gay.

- She's not a lesbian, OK?

- Yo, man, it's been about three weeks.

She's not a lesbian, man.

Personally, if I was datin' somebody

that fine, I'd wait eight or nine months.

You could wait eight or nine years and

you'd never have no woman that fine.

You wild. But at least my lady didn't

leave me for no damn Guardian Angel.

Why you do that, man? I'd have f***ed

him up but they do that karate sh*t.

Come on, stop. You gonna

give the brother a heart attack.

- Breathe. Let the brother relax.

- I'm sorry, man. I was just playin'.

Can I ask you somethin' though, man?

Did you bang Angela yet?

Good question. Good question.

Angela and I are just tryin' to get to

know each other on a platonic level.

OK. So, in other words,

you ain't hit the twizzer.

- Not a drop.

- Twizzer? What's that?

Another one of your colloquialisms

for a vagina, Tyler?

You think, just cos I have a low sperm

count, that I can't function normally.

But I don't know why it's low. It should

be high. You ain't shootin' nothin'.

Man, will you stop? You shouldn't make

fun of the afflicted. He got a problem.

- He got handicapped balls.

- Stop that, man.

A very well-known doctor told me that

by wearing the proper underwear, man,

that will cool my testicle walls,

and that can reverse my condition.

OK. Well, let me get you some Icy Hot.

Howdy Doody.

At least I have had sex in the '90s.

- What's that?

- You know what.

- Don't even try. You know I gets mine.

- Brother, please.

You are the no-p*ssy-gettingest,

talkingest-shittingest cat I know.

Marcus, yo, don't even try it.

You know me, for real.

And all I'm sayin' is that

if you ain't bangin' Jacqueline yet,

there's somethin' wrong with her,

or somethin' wrong with her twizzer.

There's nothin' wrong with Jacqueline,

and nothin' wrong with me.

It's gonna take

a little longer than I thought.

- Are you OK?

- Yeah, I'm fine.

These sales conventions are really

boring. I'm not lookin' forward to it.

Yeah, but we're going to New Orleans.

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