Borat: Cultural Learnings of America for Make Benefit Glorious Nation of Kazakhstan Page #2

much better...

...but this I watch for three hours,

do not change.

There's a remote controI here.

Push these two arrows

to change the channeI.

I got him, I got him, I got him!

I have the urge to

bury something else.

Yes!

- I love you.

- Oh, I love you too, Jamie.

I love you.

- Do you believe in magic, Miss-?

- Parker, C.J.

It's a pleasure to meet you, C.J.

Be carefuI! Be carefuI, C.J.!

This C.J. was like no Kazakh woman

I had ever seen.

She had golden hairs,

teeth as white as pearls...

...and the a**hole of a 7-year-old.

For the first time in my lifes...

...I was in love.

Get up! Get up!

Why aren't you ready!

We have people to interview today.

I understand.

Learn what you can from

this women's group.

My hair?

It's beautifuI. Don't worry.

In Kazakhstan it is illegaI for more than

five woman to be in the same place...

...except for in brotheI or in grave.

In the U.S. and A., many womens meet

in groups called Feminists.

I find more.

"VETERAN FEMINISTS OF AMERICA"

So, what means this feminism?

It's the theory that women

should be equaI to men...

...in matters economic, sociaI-

- Now you are laughing.

- Yes.

That is the problem.

Do you think a woman

should be educate?

Definitely.

But is it not a problem that a woman

have a smaller brain than a man?

That is wrong.

But the government scientist,

Dr. Yamak,prove it's the size of squirreI.

Your government's scientist?

- Yes, Dr. Yamak.

- He's wrong. He's wrong.

Give me a smile, baby.

Why angry face?

Well, what you're saying

is very demeaning.

- Do you know the word "demeaning"?

- No.

We are saying to you...

I could not concentrate on what

this old man was saying.

All I could think about was this

lovely woman in her red water-panties.

Who was this C.J.?

Last night I see in my hoteI room...

...a woman called C.J.

on the television.

- Do you know her?

- No.

She from a town

called Baywatches.

- She's just on television.

- Her name is Pamela.

- Do she live here in New York City?

- She lives in California.

- In the California.

- He's gonna look her up.

Okay, can we finish now?

Listen, pussycat, smile a bit.

- All right. That's it. I'm done.

- We're finished. We have to leave.

Although I was obsessed by this C.J.,

I could not pursue her...

...or else my wife

would snap off my cock.

Mr. Sagdiyev?

- Yes?

- I have a telegram for you.

- You can read?

- Yes, I can.

"Dear Borat Sagdiyev...

...your wife, Oxna...

...was walking your retarded Bilo

in the woods...

...when a bear attacked

and violated and break her.

She is now dead. "

You say my wife is dead?

This is what it's...

Yes, sir. I'm sorry to inform you,

but that's what the telegram says.

High five! Great!

What do you mean, California?

I have arranged all our filming

for New York.

But we need to leave New York

to find the reaI America:

Rodeos, cowboys...

It will be better for our documentary.

But why California?

What's there?

PearI Harbor is there...

And so is Texas.

Eventually, I persuade Azamat

that we would travel to California...

...and make our reportings

along the way.

He insists we not fly in case the Jews

repeated their attack of 9-11.

Okay, I'll find another way

for us to get there.

My name is Mike.

I'm gonna be your driving instructor.

"MICHAEL PSENICSKA,Perry Hall Driving SchooI"

Welcome to our country, okay.

- My name Borat.

- Okay, okay. Good, good.

Well, I'm not used to that,

but that's fine.

Now, you do know

how to drive a little bit?

- Yes.

- Yes. Put it in D.

- What?

- Drive.

Now, wait a second. Wait a second.

- Have you driven a car before?

- Yes, many times.

All right, let's go this way.

I don't want you hitting anybody.

Use two hands, now.

- What?

- Two hands.

But then it look like I am holding

a Gypsy while he eat my chram.

I don't care. You use two hands

when you drive, okay?

Okay.

- Okay.

- Watch the children.

Okay, no problem.

You must not hit the children.

Look, there is a woman in a car.

Can we follow her?

- And maybe make sexy-time with her?

- No, no, no.

- Let's get her. Why not?

- No, no, no.

Because a woman has a right

to choose who she has sex with.

- What? You joke?

- How about that? Isn't that amazing?

There must be consent.

How about that?

That's good, huh?

- Is not good for me.

- It is good.

- Steer the car.

- Okay.

- You want have a drink?

- You can't drink that.

- Why not? What?

- It's against the law.

Who is this car that follow us?

I wish it didn't follow us.

- I don't know.

- Maybe we'll lose them.

No, we better not lose them.

Hey, don't look at me.

Eat my tits!

We'll make a right turn up here.

Don't look at me like that.

I will eat your sh*t.

- Hey, you f*** my mother!

- Hey, hey.

- No, he do before. He look on me.

- You can't do that.

They're gonna throw us in jaiI,

me with you.

Why in a jaiI? He look on me.

- Behind.

- You can't say that.

I like you, do you like me?

- I do like you.

- You are my friend?

You're nice and I am your friend.

You will be my boyfriend?

- I won't be your boyfriend.

- Why not? You do not like me?

I could be. It depends.

Well, boyfriend, yeah, I can.

Great success.

Now time to make purchase

of motorcars.

I want to have a car that attract

a woman with a shave down below.

Well, that would be a Corvette

or a Hummer.

JIM SELL GM Salesman Well, that

would be a Corvette or a Hummer.

JIM SELL:

GM Salesman

JIM SELL GM Salesman We will

try to help you out here.

We will try to help you out here.

A man yesterday tell me

if I buy a car...

...I must buy one

with a p*ssy magnet.

He means a car that women will like.

Yes, but where you keep

this magnet?

No, there's no magnet. That was just-

He means the vehicle.

Women love the Hummers.

- Do this have a p*ssy magnet?

- No.

The vehicle itself will be a magnet.

If I give you good price,

will you please put in p*ssy magnet?

Yeah, but there's no such thing

in this country as a magnet.

If this car drive into

a group of Gypsy...

...will there be any damage to the car?

- It depends on how hard you hit them.

- Hard.

Yeah, hard. You might...

...if somebody rolls on the windshield,

crack your windshield.

How fast do I need to go

to guarantee I kill him?

Let me tell you something,

with this vehicle, probably doing 35...

- ... 40 miles an hour would do it.

- Great.

When I buy my wife...

...at the start,she was cook good..

...her vagina work well

and she strong on plow.

But after three years,

when she was 15...

...then she become weak, her voice

become deep, "Borat, Borat. "

She receive hair on chest...

...and her vagina

hang like sleeve of wizard.

How do I know that

this will not happen with a car?

Chevrolet guarantees that

with a warranty.

I like very much buy this Hummers.

- How much is it?

- Fifty-two thousand.

I am looking for something between

$600 to $650.

We don't have any cars for 650

that you can buy.

Rate this script:4.1 / 7 votes