Bordello of Blood Page #2

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The Cunningham wake.

- What?

- You pussies comin' or what?

No. N-No!

What are you doin', man?

The guy's insane.

"McCutcheon Funeral Home"?

That's what the guy said.

You think there's a party

going on inside?

I don't know.

But if one member

of the Addams Family

opens the door, I'm outta here.

Come on, try again.

Hello.

Can I help you boys?

- Okay. We're outta here.

- I don't think so.

Here for the Cunningham wake,

are we?

Excuse me.

Nice place. You got

about 10,000 termites

holding hands here?

I hope you boys

are ready to have fun.

Just the thought

of all that naked flesh

waiting for you.

I'd join you myself,

but somebody has

to watch the door.

Been so busy tonight.

Yeah, looks like

a packed house to me.

Yeah.

Come on, boys.

Keep up, keep up.

This guy's pretty f***in' creepy.

Oh, my God.

It's a necrophiliac's

wet dream.

Come on, boys.

The girls are waiting.

Girls.

Girls.

Come on. Chop, chop.

In you go.

You want us to

get in the coffin?

Yes.

You're outta your mind,

old man.

Yeah.

We were gonna take you up,

but, uh, thanks,

we've changed our minds.

Changed your minds?

I'm afraid this is

the only way out.

Come along, boys.

Get with the program.

The party is this way.

You heard the man.

Go ahead.

Go ahead.

Come, come.

Really.

I insist.

No, I insist.

Oh, man.

I don't like this.

Man, I must

really be horny.

F***.

What a handsome couple

you'll make.

Down!

It's dark! Let me out!

Let me out of here!

Let me out of here!

Let me out! Let me out!

This isn't funny!

Are we dead yet?

I think we died

and went to heaven.

Evening, boys.

We've been waiting for you.

Come inside, boy.

Yeah.

Oh, my God.

Holy sh*t.

Wow.

This is deep.

Hi, boys.

Hi, girl.

How would you like

to take the skin express

to Tuna Town?

Well, how do I get

myself a ticket?

Looks like

you already got one.

It's a very small ticket.

It's a short ride.

It's a ticket.

Hey, man. Kill her.

I'm Patrice.

I want it fast,

and I want it dirty.

I can do that.

Oh, baby, you're

getting me so hot.

Oh, I don't know

what to do with myself.

Oh, that's a great start.

Oh, yeah. Um, do you want me

to take off my clothes too?

Okay.

You've got

nice skin.

Nice hair.

Eh!

Nice blood.

What the hell

did you do that for?

'Cause I want to taste

every last bit of you.

Um... okay.

Do you mind if I cut in?

Who are you?

The name's Lilith.

I'm the boss.

Didn't Tallulah explain

how we work here?

No.

She gets you ready,

And then I finish you off.

Oh.

So...

are you ready?

Oh, yeah.

Oh, I'm ready.

Come here and show me what you got.

Okay.

Don't eat your heart out, baby.

That's my job.

Wow, I guess I finally found a girl

with a little something extra.

So, what are

your hobbies?

There's something

I need to ask you about. Um...

My girls know better than

to talk with their mouth full.

Whoa.

Two chicks. That's cool.

You care for a little deep throat?

Deputy,

you don't understand.

My brother's been gone

for days.

Ma'am, I understand just fine.

Right now,

I'm up to my eyeballs

in missing persons.

I'll get

to your brother...

after I've gotten

to all these cases first.

I'm sorry.

That could

take forever.

- Ma'am, I'm sorry.

- F***ing cops are unbelievable.

- Great.

- Now that's just ridiculous.

A pretty lady like you

being treated like that.

Excuse me?

I'm sorry.

I couldn't help

overhearing.

My name is,

uh, Rafe Guttman,

Guttman Investigations.

I specialize

in missing persons.

Can I get that back?

I'm savin' trees.

Just doin' my part.

I have an office.

Maybe you and I

could go talk...

Watch what

you're doing, huh?

Rafe Guttman.

We could talk about this.

Unless you want

to stay here...

and let the A-Team get

to your brother's case.

I've had a few run-ins

with the cops myself, Miss...

I didn't catch your name.

Verdoux, Katherine.

Look, Mr. Guttman...

Call me Katherine.

I'm not sure that I'm ready

to hire someone right now.

What are you waiting for?

Every minute you delay,

it's harder to find your brother.

You gotta trust me.

I'm an expert.

Well, I guess

it couldn't hurt to talk.

Of course it wouldn't.

And I'll be gentle.

And, you know,

I can't believe it,

but I'm actually

going to ask a woman this:

Uh, haven't I met you

somewhere before?

Must be my imagination.

Well, anyway, we're here.

And I know you're already

feeling a little bit better

about me, aren't you?

Why don't you plunk it down

right over there?

So tell me

about your brother.

We had a fight.

He went out,

and he never came back.

That's one hell of a tiff.

That sort of stuff

happen all the time?

We argue a lot.

Then he goes out,

gets drunk with his friends,

and usually he comes home.

Yeah, not this time.

I'll tell ya what,

I'm gonna need the names

of those friends.

I'm gonna need some phone numbers,

some addresses.

Maybe a photo, charcoal rendering.

You got anything like that?

Yeah, I did bring

a picture with me.

- What are you lookin' at?

- Uh, your clutch.

I'm a purse freak.

I'm looking at you.

I swear to God I know you.

We've never met?

I don't think so.

Well, you know something, dearie,

if it's any consolation to you,

you're just not my type.

That is comforting.

Believe me.

Can I get you something?

Maybe a cookie, popcorn,

a little Prozac, dear?

I'm fine.

So this is your brother.

Jesus Christ.

Wow. Same parents?

- Can I keep this?

- Yeah, I suppose so.

I might have to wear this

in a locket.

How much is this gonna cost me?

A hundred and fifty a day,

plus expenses.

Now I know

I made a mistake.

No, come on.

Don't club me

with the dramatics.

I've got a half-price sale

this week on missing brothers.

How's that?

Okay.

One sec.

Hello. Guttman Investigations.

You've got Guttman.

What the f*** are you doing

calling me here?

For Christ's sake,

what do you want now?

You're reminding me why

being married to you drove me

to the brink of homosexuality.

I'm not hiding out on you!

Business has been dreck!

I don't care what

your slimebag lawyer says,

I'm not holding out on you!

Don't you get it?

You cleaned me out.

You're a high colonic

in a dress!

What a sleaze.

I gotta go.

F*** you.

Hey, where you goin'?

Somethin' spook you?

No, I'm fine. Don't worry.

I will pay you for your time.

I don't want paid for my time.

I want paid for helping you.

Like it or not, Katherine,

I'm all you've got.

I'm gonna win this one

for you, honey.

And you.

You just couldn't possibly

get any cooler, could you?

Excuse me?

I am Rafe Guttman.

Guttman Investigations.

There's my card.

Nice card, Rafe.

Let me give you a hand

with your card, Rafe.

All right.

Let me put that there for ya.

I'm considering the gauntlet

officially thrown, friend.

Yeah.

Listen, uh, you're Zeke,

aren't you?

I'm Zeke.

Zeke, I'm looking

for your friend, Caleb.

You seen him?

I don't know anyone

named Caleb, Rafe.

You don't know shot selection either.

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