Born Yesterday Page #6

and you're living with him.

Then why did you kiss me the first time?

I made a mistake.

Gee, sorry.

Billie. Billie, it's not about you.

It's about ethics.

If I get involved with you,

I'm no different than Harry.

I don't want to use you like Harry

uses senators to get what he wants.

You're crazy about me, aren't you?

Yes.

That's why you get so mad at Harry.

I don't hate Harry.

I hate his kind of life.

What he does, what he stands for.

He's never thought about

anybody else in the world but himself.

Who does?

Oh, God, Billie, millions of people do.

The whole damn history of the world

is the story of the fight

between the selfish and the unselfish.

Where do I fit in?

I honestly don't know.

You still think I'm the kind of person

that goes with Harry?

You're still with him, aren't you?

Billie, come on, now.

Be fair.

You told me

that all you wanted out of life

was a mink coat

and a TV that fit in your purse.

Yeah, but that's why I did

all this learning. To change!

And it didn't make a difference.

- You don't think you're different?

- I do, sure.

But you don't.

You still see me the same as I was.

In that way,

you're no different from Harry.

How can you say that?

He still thinks I'm a bimbo from Vegas

and so do you.

No, I don't.

I've never gone through

anything like this for anybody.

Last night, I started thinking and

I couldn't fall asleep for ten minutes.

Billie, wait.

How come I feel

like I don't fit in any more?

Tell me why am I so unhappy

with everything that I used to want.

Let me tell you something, Paul.

I don't know about

all this book stuff and ethics.

But I do know

it only takes you so far.

And after that, you have to go on

what you feel, not on what you know.

But I know one thing.

There's a time between a guy and a girl

when it either comes off or it doesn't.

And if it doesn't then, it never does.

- Maybe we haven't gotten to our time.

- No, we did.

You just dropped the ball.

For all our griping, we're a lucky group.

We got food, a roof, friends around us.

Watching the tube the other day, I saw

how many homeless are veterans.

They ought to tack this

on the Constitution.

If you risk your life for your country,

you ought to have a home.

The Sixth Amendment to the Constitution

says you can't be deprived of property

without compensation.

It's too bad they didn't offer

that protection to veterans.

That's in the Fifth Amendment.

No, no, I think it's the Sixth.

- Don't pay any attention to her.

- Actually, you're both wrong.

Property compensation

is the Seventh.

- It's the Fifth.

- Billie!

The Fifth is where you don't

incriminate yourself. Jesus!

Actually, both senators are wrong.

Billie's right.

Thanks.

There's a bunch of clauses in the Fifth.

One of them is property compensation.

The Sixth

is the right to a speedy trial.

You put us to shame.

Are you a constitutional lawyer?

No. I'm a student, I guess.

I have a hard time keeping them

straight so I make up little tricks.

Like a... mnemonic device?

I didn't buy anything for it,

if that's what you mean.

- Like I was saying...

- What's your trick?

Really?

You'll probably think I'm nuts,

but I use

The Twelve Days Of Christmas.

Well, why don't you teach it to us?

- Really?

- Sure, yeah!

- This'll be fun!

- Billie!

Stop it. That's enough!

We got business to do here.

We were under the impression

that this was a social occasion.

Please.

Thanks. Does anybody have a pen?

Sure.

Thank you.

And now,

the Senate Family Singers,

...with The Twelve Interesting

Amendments, Op Number One.

Hit it.

The First Amendment

to the Constitution says

Freedom of religion,

speech and press

The second part

of the First Amendment says

Peaceful assembly

And just say

any crazy thing you like

The Second Amendment

to the Constitution says

Right to bear arms

Peaceful assembly

And just say

any crazy thing you like

Good! The Fourth Amendment

to the Constitution says

No search and seizure

Here is my gun. Freeze

Assemble and be nice!

And just say

any crazy thing you like!

The Fifth Amendment

to the Constitution says

Don't rat on yourself

Where's your warrant, please?

Here is my gun, freeze

Assemble and be nice

And just say

any crazy thing you like

Very good! The Sixth Amendment

to the Constitution says

Right to a quick trial

Don't rat on yourself

Where's your warrant, please?

- Here's my gun, freeze

- Assemble and be nice

And just say

any crazy thing you like!

The Thirteenth Amendment

to the Constitution says

Slavery is invalid

Right to a quick trial

Don't rat on yourself

Where's your warrant, please?

- Here is my gun, freeze

- Assemble and be nice

And just say

any crazy thing you like

Good. The Fifteenth Amendment

to the Constitution says

- All races get the ballot

- Slavery is invalid

Right to a quick trial

Don't rat on yourself

Where's your warrant, please?

- Here is my gun, freeze

- Assemble and be nice!

And just say

any crazy thing you like!

The Sixteenth Amendment

to the Constitution says

Congress can take taxes

- All races get the ballot

- Slavery is invalid

Right to a quick trial

Don't rat on yourself

Where's your warrant, please?

- Here is my gun, freeze

- Assemble and be nice!

And just say

any crazy thing you like!

The Eighteenth Amendment

to the Constitution says

- Alcohol will kill you!

- Uncle Sam will bill you

- All races get the ballot

- Slavery is invalid

- Right to a quick trial

- Don't rat on yourself

- Where's your warrant, please?

- Here is my gun, freeze

Assemble and be nice!

And just say

any crazy thing you like!

The Nineteenth Amendment

to the Constitution says

Women vote like men do!

- Alcohol will kill you!

- Uncle Sam will bill you

- All races get the ballot

- Slavery is invalid

- Right to a quick trial

- Don't rat yourself out!

- Where's your warrant, please?

- Here is my gun, freeze!

Assemble and be nice!

And just say

any crazy thing you like!

Don't tell me what I have to do.

You're not coming across.

I want that base open!

I am not an employee of yours, Harry.

No? You think I bought 40,000 copies

of your book cos I kept misplacing it?

I am not a lackey in one of your malls!

I will decide if I help you

and how much I help you.

You're making a mistake,

treating me this way!

You are not a charity.

You are an investment.

If you don't want to wind up as

secretary to YMCA, you do what I tell you!

Harry! Harry, for God's sake...

- Let me get him back here.

- I think he was clear enough!

Go on!

Hi.

I don't think that Harry should talk

to you like that. You're a senator.

Well, the operation of government

is... complex.

I don't think anybody

should talk to a senator like that.

- A senator's a wonderful thing.

- Thank you.

It seems to me

that if Harry pushes you around,

he's pushing around

the millions who voted for you.

Well, not quite that many.

How many, then?

Eight hundred and sixty-three thousand,

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