Born Yesterday Page #5

It's a dictionary?

No, look it up... in the dictionary.

Jeez, that's a book?

It's bigger than my first apartment.

Billie, what are you doing?

I don't like this!

I don't like this at all!

Every word in there, I don't understand!

I had to go to the dictionary

so many times,

people must have thought I was foreign!

This whole thing is making me

feel dumber, not smarter!

I've been reading this for a week

and I'm on page 13!

Well, that's not so bad.

Not if the book's 14 pages, it's not!

It's not supposed to go fast,

it's supposed to make you think.

Yeah, it makes you think how great

it would be to sit around and watch TV!

I don't want to do this any more. I quit!

Billie! Wait a minute.

Being smart isn't just about books.

It's about asking questions.

It's about finding out

why things are the way they are.

Don't stop reading.

But you picked

a kind of a big book to begin with.

How about starting with

something a little smaller?

Like what? A fortune cookie?

- This just came for you.

- Thanks.

Did you say

I've got a lot to learn?

But don't think

I'm trying not to learn

Since this is

a perfect spot to learn

Come on, teach me tonight

Starting with the ABC of it

Right down to the XYZ of it

Help me solve

the mystery of it, yeah

I wanna be taught tonight

The cold sky's a blackboard

High above me

If a shooting star goes by

I'll use that star

To write "I love you"

A thousand times across the sky...

Hi.

Still trying to read this book?

What?

... Come on, teach me tonight

My baby, baby, baby, yeah

Come on, teach me tonight, yeah

I want to learn

Teach me, hey

Teach me

Teach me, teach me, teach me...

Hello, JJ.

Billie called me. Is she here?

Yeah, she is.

- You want to let her know I'm here?

- Yeah.

I don't see the problem.

There are competing

economic considerations...

Boys, don't jerk me around.

If you're gonna help me out,

I need to know and I need to know now.

Harry's blunt about it,

but a lot is riding on this.

He's the principal employer in the area.

- Sorry, I was looking for Billie.

- She's not...

Senator Hedges, hi! Paul Verrall.

I interviewed you.

- I loved what you did.

- Thanks.

Here she is. I think you two

would be more comfortable...

Billie,

would you make this poor man a drink?

Nice to see you again, Paul.

Nice to see you, gentlemen.

Good to see you again.

- Harry.

- Hey, kid.

- What did he mean, he interviewed you?

- He's a reporter.

He's doing a puff piece on Harry.

Not now he's seen him

alone in a room with all of us.

Thanks for coming so quick.

- Quickly.

- Quickly.

Billie, Harry's got six senators in there.

So? He's had 'em before.

Senators don't usually make house calls.

Harry gets people to do things

they don't usually do.

Want to know the trick I came up with

to remember the amendments

to the Constitution?

- Billie?

- What?

You've worked really hard

to make yourself smart.

But?

A smart person

knows who she's living with.

Gentlemen, I really don't want you

to worry about this...

That's beautiful.

OK.

I think you'll enjoy David Copperfield.

Anything by Dickens is wonderful.

What is this crap?

It's Haydn, Op. 111.

- It's a classical piece, Harry.

- Classic piece of sh*t if you ask me.

I like it.

It's good before bed.

So, the Fifth Amendment

to the Constitution

says that you can't testify

against yourself.

How would that even work?

It seems physically impossible.

- You're teaching her about the Fifth?

- Well, the Constitution. I thought...

It's not your job to think.

Get her to think.

- Harry!

- It's OK, Billie.

First of all, she knows how to think.

And second, she...

I need her so she can talk at parties,

not pass some ancient history test.

You think the Constitution

is ancient history?

- Work on her, not me.

- No extra charge.

I don't need nothing you could tell me.

- There's a lot he could tell you.

- I'll bet!

Who's Tom Paine, for instance?

What do I care? If he's not buying

from me, why should I care?

You're so smart,

who's Dave Righetti?

Left-handed pitcher for the Giants,

pitched a no-hitter for the Yanks in '83.

So what are you, some kind of genius?

- No.

- I fire geniuses every day.

- Clearly.

- The more I see you, the less I like you.

Is that the way you talk

to your senator friends, too, Harry?

I'm gonna tell you this once.

Don't push your luck.

Stay out of my business.

Keep your eye on

what I pay you to keep it on,

or I'll tear it out of your head.

I got to go, Billie.

Just remember, four-eyes.

Any time I want,

I can knock your block off.

See you later, Billie.

Bye.

- Ed said not to forget these.

- That guy's starting to bug me.

Here, doll, sign these papers.

What exactly are you doing

in Washington, Harry?

Telling you to sign those papers,

and you're going to sign them.

I don't want to do anything

that's against the law.

I am the law.

It seems to me by signing these,

it makes me some kind of a partner.

A silent partner.

- So?

- So shut up!

You know what your problem is, Harry?

You're not just rude, you're...

...flagrant about it.

You've been reading de Tocqueville.

Well, yeah!

After we talked on your show,

I figured it was pretty bad that

I hadn't read such an important book.

So I read it.

What was your favourite part?

Well, I'm not sure it's a book

where you can have a favourite part.

Yes, you can. I did.

I liked when he said,

"What is not yet done is only what

we have not yet attempted to do."

It made me feel good.

So, what part did you like?

- May I be honest?

- Yeah.

I haven't read it.

But you said it was the one book

on democracy worth reading.

That's what everybody says.

That's all anybody knows

about de Tocqueville. Except you.

Well, it's not so bad

once you stop falling asleep.

Hi! I couldn't wait

to see how it went.

So, she's stupid.

Well, all I mean is,

I didn't feel stupid myself.

She hadn't never read the book.

- You're kidding!

- No.

People always pretend

to be smarter than they are.

I don't.

I know, Billie.

You're an honest one.

When I just said, "She hadn't

never read it," that wasn't right.

It was a double negative but...

Come on! You told me you'd tell me

when I made a mistake.

A person who reads de Tocqueville should

know not to do no double negatives.

Yes, ma'am!

Smells good in here, doesn't it?

If I'd known art smelled this good,

I would have come a long time ago!

God, it's so small but it's like

it's bigger than the whole room.

Van Gogh painted this

near the end of his life.

What a shame that he was never

recognised while he was still living.

Don't you think?

My mother died

when I was little and...

...my dad raised me and my brothers.

And he loved us so much, but...

I never knew a world like that.

Why didn't you ever kiss me again?

Well, it's complicated.

What's complicated? Either you kiss me

or you don't, and you didn't.

Billie, I'm working for Harry.

And I'm writing a story about him,

Rate this script:0.0 / 0 votes