Botoks Page #3

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My kids' dad has split.

I earn 1700 and I need money

for my kids therapy

I have to find a new job.

I've got an interview today.

Where?

GLASBE Pharmaceuticals.

They're French. How do I look?

Like a dick dressed like a duck.

You can't wear f***ing leggings.

Let's find something else.

F***, let's check my stuff.

What size do you wear?

How should I know?

That's the best we can hope for.

Next, please.

Hello.

So, you want to sell our drugs?

Yeah, all over town.

Take off your shoes.

Get up on the desk.

Now dance.

Dance for me, seduce me.

You won't sell a thing.

But, ma'am...

I really need this job.

I'm a single mother of twins.

Do you want to move me?

I lost my family in an accident.

Please give me a chance,

as woman to woman.

We hire only women at GLASBE.

Know why?

Because they have looks that make

every doctor want to f*** them.

I'll sell more.

I'm not a Miss America.

No, you're not.

But I worked as a paramedic.

I know half the doctors in Warsaw.

COPENHAGEN:

- Could we use my comb and brush?

- Of course.

Doctor, we've got a patient

who shoved a rectangular bottle

of perfume up his anus.

Crazy a**hole.

Don't worry Arek, next time

we'll use something smaller.

Good morning.

What brings you here today?

Can't you see?

I don't intend to look.

But you will be of service

to a new generation of doctors.

- What?

- Right this way, students.

Come in.

We begin our medical lesson.

This man bought his wife perfume,

and she told him

to shove it up his ass.

I accidentally sat down

on the bottle.

Fine.

What can we propose for the patient?

Jacek.

Perhaps the patient could

excrete it himself.

You think it's that simple?

Marek, what's going on?

Mom, why'd you come here?

- What's wrong with you?

- Nothing.

Don't lie.

Mom, unfortunately Marek has

a foreign body in his body.

How'd he manage to swallow that?

Objects in vaginas and anuses

will be the most common cases

you will have in your careers.

Why does this look like

the zoo at feeding time?

Jadzia inserted seven

tangerines in her vagina.

Jadzia.

Why'd you put seven tangerines

in your vagina?

A perverted feeling came over me.

All right.

Each of you takes out one.

Jacek.

This one's shot, it's in pieces and

had contact with vaginal fluids.

But this one can still be eaten.

Doctor...

A kid took legal highs and then

cut his abdomen open because

he heard squirrels inside.

- He needs to be washed as

he rolled in the grass. - Know what?

Cleanliness is next to godliness,

but it shortens life. Sorry.

I don't have the manpower.

What's that?

Fentanyl.

An intranasal opioid for pain

relief for palliative patients.

Nice, huh?

How does this collaboration work?

Our pharmaceutical company

opens a bank account

for each doctor we work with.

Here's your debit card.

And here's your PIN.

When you prescribe a GLASBE drug,

the company pays you 5%

of every prescription filled.

Oh yeah?

And just how do you check that?

You prescribe the drug.

I recommend this GLASBE drug.

You must stamp it with,

"NO THERAPEUTIC SUBSTITUTION."

Direct patients to one pharmacy.

Easier for us to settle up then.

Know what? Go to the hospital

pharmacy, it's cheaper.

A company rep will come to the

pharmacy and count it all up.

How many GLASBE prescriptions

have you filled this month?

How many were Dr. Beata Winkler's?

GLASBE pays 5% from each sale, and

you get your money at an ATM.

Help me. It's no difference what

you prescribe, and I'll have work.

The debit card isn't everything.

Each quarter you'll get

a nice gift from our company.

We'll send you to symposia.

For those doctors

who attain the highest sales

our firm organizes exotic vacations.

Come on, Jarek.

That's only ten weeks old?

You abort babies like this

at your hospital??

We gave the patient Mettotrecat as

we suspected an ectopic pregnancy

but it turned out she's got

a live pregnancy in her uterus.

We can tell her the truth and

have the prosecutor on our ass.

Or keep using the chemotherapeutic

and wait till she miscarries.

Adam, I'm making coffee.

Want some?

A nurse that slept with a doctor,

used to kiss his hand in thanks.

Now she becomes his pal.

Only those who do nothing

make no mistakes.

You can't admit to it or

they'll tear you apart.

You must have her miscarry.

She won't know a thing when

she leaves the hospital.

Every doctor has his own cemetery?

That's a crime.

Questioning my decision?

That's my last word, dear.

I'm f***ing out of here.

Look, what a cute embryo.

I need a job. I'm a urologist and

I've worked as a general surgeon.

For me a woman surgeon

is like a guinea pig.

Neither a guinea nor a pig.

I'll give you 300.

For what?

For holding pricks.

If a guy's got a crooked dick,

I have to straighten it.

You'll get 300 for each prick.

All you'll do is hold it.

Of course, each one moves a bit.

A labiaplasty for my daughter.

Her labia are too big.

She even has problems

working out during Phys. Ed.

I like it when a woman has

a handful in her drawers.

If you want, you'll be as pretty

down there as my little girl.

Move onto my finger.

Does that feel good?

What are you doing?

You're rubber her clitoris.

Sunshine, I operate, you assist.

You don't tell me what to do. Bye.

F***, what a perv.

He's like that.

F*** this job.

I'm turning him in.

Come in.

You don't mind if I let a few

other doctors learn, do you?

Man, that's ugly.

Asia's mom wants to talk to you.

Hello. What's going on?

Let's go to the bathroom.

Let me see.

Jesus, it was supposed to be

a simple labiaplasty.

He said he'd fix it if she

lets him do her breasts.

What a prick.

I checked. He's laryngologist and

knows nothing about plastic surgery.

Could you do it instead?

I'm begging you.

My daughter wants to kill herself.

Give me a couple of days.

- Hi.

- Hi.

- Will you help me?

- With what?

I need a nip and tuck on my p*ssy.

Hi, mom.

Could I use one of your rooms

for a few hours?

I want it shorter.

A little lower.

Slice away.

How do you feel?

Like a gang of n*ggers with

horse c*cks just f***ed me.

I'll help your daughter.

You'll rent me the room permanently.

I'm going to specialize

in plastic surgery.

I've got the hots for this guy.

What should I do so he fucks me?

Something for yourself.

Fix your mug.

I gotta go to the bathroom.

Why'd you leave?

Know how I feel?

Fix my face.

Botoks in my neck.

My breasts

Belly.

Vagina.

And my f***ing teeth.

Your vagina's sensational.

Hello.

Know a good plastic surgeon?

He took fat from your thighs and

injected it into your breasts?

F***, that surgeon's a disaster.

He f***ed up your p*ssy, too.

What didn't you like about it?

- Nothing.

- Why you have it done then?

I wanted to have an orgasm.

- What?

- She wanted to have an orgasm.

I was looking for the G-spot.

I was looking for the G-spot.

There's one at the end of shopping.

There is no such thing.

- There isn't?

- No, there isn't.

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