Bounty Killer Page #4

things'll be different.

- You're acting like a child.

- Uhh!

Nuri, what's with all that racket?

I'm finishing a new outfit.

And my name isn't Nuri anymore.

It's Mary Death.

DRIFTER:
On that day,

I realized I had created

the greatest killer

the world would ever know.

The months that followed were

a good time for the two of us.

We pulled offjobs in tandem.

She was my fender bunny,

and I was her old man.

The world was blown to hell,

but it didn't matter.

We were invincible.

I've been thinking, fender bunny.

Stop talking.

You know, hear me out.

You deserve better than a...

cramped room

at the Beaver, you know?

And I've saved

some money, and...

yeah, we could ride

out of here tomorrow

and leave all this behind.

We could start a new life.

- [ blow lands ]

- Ohh!

Sh*t! You cut me deep!

Mary...

you cut me deep.

[ groans ]

DRIFTER:

I tried to love her, kid,

but she stabbed me

in the spleen and left me for dead.

[ scraping ]

[ Jack chuckles ]

JACK:
Huh.

You really know your gypsies.

JACK:

Can't hold their liquor, I guess.

[ sips ]

DRIFTER:
Move it, kid.

Gahh.

DRIFTER:

What are you waiting for?

I'm stealing a stagecoach

from of a bunch of savages

with a wanted criminal

moonlighting as a bounty killer,

who has the hots

for a murderous, deranged gypsy.

Dreams do come true, kid.

I never stopped believing.

Hyah!

Hyah!

Hyah!

Get going!

Get up!

They're getting away.

Ho! Whoo!

Kill them!

- [ whooping ]

- Kill them!

[ gunshots ]

Bollocks.

Oh, sh*t.

- Pitching wedge.

- What?

Jack, pass me the pitching wedge!

What the hell is a pitching wedge?

The RPG.

[ yelling ]

I told you to let them escape.

Catch up with the others,

and tell them to fall back!

Fall back!

[ beeping ]

Oh, come on.

Sh*t.

[ grunting ]

[ beeping ]

[ screams ]

[ knife slices ]

[ beeping continues ]

[ beeping stops ]

Boom, motherfuckers.

What are you doing?

Well, I was, um-

I'm up here saving our necks,

and you're down there

taking a siesta in the trailer?

His head just went everywhere.

Yeah, I know.

It was too easy.

That was easy?

How was that easy?

I don't want to hear it, Jack.

Just get up here, and man the rig.

We gotta move fast!

I found something.

Jack, I think you just bought us

a trip across the Badlands.

Must be an angel

You must be my heart

Alone in this desert

Just let it all start

You change

like the seasons...

MARY:
How much for a shot

of whiskey and a Coke?

Nuri?

How the hell are you, Lucille?

Just one more time

You need a drink.

Forget all the rules...

MARY:
Ah, man.

God, what happened

to this place?

Man, I remember us

turning customers away every night.

My best girls went off

with a dancing show to New Phoenix.

Yeah?

Why didn't you go with 'em?

LUCILLE:
Ah, I never was

much of a dancer.

Not on my feet, anyway.

[ laughs ]

You know,

a strange thing happened.

After the girls left,

this town suddenly lost interest

in being a town.

Hmm.

Funny how that happens.

[ laughs ]

Another?

Must be an angel

You know, there's a saying

you can't fool a fool.

Must be my heart...

I know a broken heart

when I see one.

What's going on

with you, baby girl?

Inside your arms...

Is it Drifter?

He's one of them.

Oh.

He's a criminal.

This whole time,

he's been hiding like a snake.

And now you're the one

who, uh, has to kill him, right?

That's right.

LUCILLE:
It's, uh-

It's hard to do your job

when it goes against

what you feel in your heart.

It's a weakness.

Oh, that's just the gypsy in you.

Underneath that armor,

you're still a woman,

flesh and blood like the rest of us.

He lied to us.

Heh. Yeah,

but he's a handsome liar.

Come on.

Let's get you cleaned up.

Oh, hey, that was my first cover.

Yeah. I've been keeping track,

and I knew you'd come back

sooner or later for these.

MARY:
Mm.

Spent so much time

working on 'em.

Oh, now this one, that's good.

Yeah, that's my favorite.

Okay, I always thought

the chest plate was a bit much.

Ah, sometimes it pays

for a girl to be practical.

[ metal clinks ]

Lucille, you got a set

of wheels I could use?

voil.

[ sighs ]

Lucille, I love you.

Yep, there's still life

in the old girl yet.

I took her out last week,

and she kicked like a mule.

I'm borrowing a gas mask.

It's yours.

- [ engine hums ]

- Do me a favor.

If you don't kill Drifter,

send him my way.

I'll give that handsome man

all the loving he needs.

You don't change, do you,

Lucille?

Why mess with perfection?

See you around.

Take care, Nuri.

JACK:

Think this junker still runs?

Oh, this junker could blow

the wings off a bat out of hell.

JACK:

Whose place is this, anyways?

Coyote named Jimbo.

JACK:

What's a coyote?

He smuggles white collars

out of bounty killer territory.

How do you know him?

Well, you could say

we have a special relationship.

He's your informant, isn't he?

Right?

The coyote takes collars

to where they think they're safe.

Then he turns around,

and he tells you, right. Right?

That's an astute observation,

Mr. LeMans.

Hell, I'm sorry I ever

underestimated your intelligence.

Ah, thank you.

Wait. What?

JIMBO:

God damn it! Drifter!

What the f*** are you thinking

knocking on my door like that?

Where the hell did you

get that gypsy trailer?

Oh, we stole it.

- What?

- From gypsies.

Who the f*** is this?

Oh, he's my gun caddy.

I need your help.

Get inside!

Get inside!

Ahh!

[ thunder rumbling ]

JIMBO:
The Badlands?

F*** that sh*t, man.

No, no, no,

I got-I got a collar

to pick up in New Phoenix.

Cancel the job.

Hey! Don't touch nothing.

Nope. Mm-mm.

Man, abandoning a client

would sully my reputation.

DRIFTER:

What reputation?

You know, that's a good point.

You make your own fuel?

Man, that ain't no ordinary fuel.

That's moonshine.

You run your car on moonshine?

Damn straight, 160 proof.

That is an old family recipe

perfected by my granddaddy

GuntherAristotle Stone.

He was a great man.

Now, why are you in such a rush

to get across the Badlands?

[ creaks ]

What's this bullshit?

Well, sing a song.

Can't say I'm surprised, though.

Hey, don't drink that.

That is not for consumption.

No. I'm gonna put it over here.

I'm headed

to the Council building.

The Council building?

Man, they're gonna

shoot you on sight.

Yeah, but don't worry about that.

Just name your price.

Oh, hell.

You show up here not invited.

You got some weirdo with you.

You're a wanted man.

You been tussling with gypsies.

Man, that is a lot of risk

for Jimbo to take on.

Besides, driving across

the Badlands,

that ain't no Sunday cruise, man.

The radiation's so hot in there,

you stay in there long enough,

it'll make your eyeballs bleed.

[ Jack sighs ]

[ choir sings ]

Hot damn, Drifter.

You are full of surprises.

Drifter's so full of prizes.

I ain't seen a six-pack

of PBR since...

[ muttering ]

Whose cold, dead hands

you have to wrestle this hooch out of?

What does it matter?

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