Boy Page #2

Well, these are my mates

Juju and Chuppa.

JUJU:
How are you doing?

ALAMEIN:
They're basically your uncles.

So, you guys want a cup of tea?

Oh, yeah.

Yeah, a cup of tea sounds good.

(ALL SLURP)

So, you fellas want to come inside?

Yeah.

- Yeah.

- Yeah.

Yeah, let's do that.

Seen 'E.T.' yet, the movie?

No. What's it about?

Spaceman.

Oh, space kid, really.

He gets trapped on Earth

and him and this kid fly around

everywhere on a bicycle.

I seen it four times.

(SIGHS) Nice house, bro.

- It's a shithole.

- Oh, yeah.

Oh, I don't know, bro.

These old houses are made of

native timber... expensive stuff.

Not many people know that, eh?

I mean, these door handles

are made of copper. Yeah, yeah.

Yeah, if I was a thief,

the first thing I'd do

is I'd take all the copper

and I'd melt it down

in a furnace or a fire

and then sell it

to a copper dealer, eh.

Alright then, I guess

it's time for presents.

Go on, boys, go get them presents.

What presents?

- The stuff from the car.

- Oh, yeah.

I might go give them a hand.

Hey, real milk!

A new TV!

Eh?

Oh, thank you.

- Here, you can have the rest.

- Oh, thanks, Dad.

Now, don't go burning your eyes out

or anything.

Share them with him too.

- You know this used to be my room?

- Yeah.

Oh, well, you can still use it.

I'll sleep in the garage

with my mates.

Not a problem.

Wow, look at that mop of hair

you've got.

I should cut your hair one day.

Make you look like this fella.

I've seen 'Thriller' 10 times.

I did that.

Don't get into the Nazi stuff.

Night.

Night, Dad.

(DOOR CLOSES)

- How long is he here for?

- Don't know.

But we're leaving with him

when he goes.

Why?

Because that's the way

families work, egg.

Is he the same as before?

Yeah, better.

Do you think he remembers me?

Yeah, of course, man.

- From when I was being born?

- Yep.

- I don't remember it.

- No, of course you don't.

You were just a little baby

and you still are.

What was she like?

Not this again.

Well, she was pretty.

She was a good singer.

And her and Dad were always laughing.

- How did they meet?

- At the beach.

She was swimming and Dad

saved her from drowning.

And then he did a carving of her.

And then they had babies... us.

And he can do heaps of cool stuff.

He can dance as good

as Michael Jackson.

And once, when he was a soldier,

all these commies

pinned him down to the ground,

so he leapt out of his foxhole

and just did this meanest haka

and all them commies got scared

and ran away.

- And was he a soldier?

- Hell, yeah! He's a war hero.

He's even got a green beret.

- What's that?

- A type of hat.

Shh. Look. Look.

There's that mental fella.

Hey, weirdo!

Hey!

Come on, Rocky, get him.

- Aarggh!

- Get out of here, you weirdo.

- Did you get him, Rocky?

- No.

Typical, egg.

Not too hard.

What's the Crazy Horses?

It's my gang. I'm the president

and founding member.

Yeah. Crazy Horses. (NEIGHS)

That's our sign.

It would've been that,

but it was taken.

We're renegades.

What's those?

Someone who lives outside the law,

but they're still cool.

Like the A-Team or the Hulk.

Gee, even these samurais...

they're the meanest renegades.

- Hey, whose is this mean carving?

- Oh, mine.

Yeah. Looks just like E.T.

It's based on one of yours,

but it ain't finished yet.

Yeah, I know,

'cause you ain't done the eyes.

That's the last thing you do...

them eyes.

Do you still carve?

Nup. I ain't got time for that.

(SIGHS) I'm a busy man.

Mmm.

(CALLS) Oh, Rocky!

Hey, where you skating off to?

What's that supposed to mean?

What's wrong with him?

You want to go for a ride in my car?

Yeah.

Cool.

Let's go.

- Far!

- (GASPS)

(WHISTLES)

Phwoar! Mean car.

Hey, Uncle.

Who's this, then?

Mouldy Smith.

(SIGHS)

Well, see you at home, then, eh?

What? Are you going? Can I come?

Oh, I'm busy. I've got

a few things to take care of.

You hang out here

with your mates, man.

Dukes of Hazard.

(GRUNTS WITH EXERTION)

(HORN BEEPS)

(GIRLS GIGGLE)

Hmph!

So he finally came home, eh?

How long's he here for?

Don't know. Not long.

That'd be right.

Has he been to see your mum yet?

- Nah, not yet.

- F***ing typical!

Hey, Aunty,

can I have an iceblock, please?

No!

- Oh, it's not fair.

- Get a job, man.

Oh, there's none left.

You got them all!

- Boy, can I have a go with one?

- Can't.

Saving them for a special occasion.

Hey, was that your dad?

Yep.

Oh, he's got a premo car.

How long's he staying for?

Not long. But we're gonna be

moving pretty soon.

Where to?

Don't know. Probably just cruise

around in his mean-ass car.

Hey, you guys,

I just did a massive sh*t in there.

- You should go and check it out.

- Oh, yeah. I'll check that out!

- Don't touch, Falcon.

- I want the lollies.

They're lollies for adults,

not for children, Falcon. Pest!

Wow! What a mean one, Dally.

Alright, we're finished. Let's go.

Tip!

Hey, weirdo, do you live here?

Shh!

(WHISPERS)

Why do we have to whisper?

Because it's dangerous on the river.

Sorry.

I live here with my mum.

My mum's dead.

I killed her.

Do you have any friends?

- Do you have a brother?

- No.

I've got a brother. He's cool.

He's hanging out with our dad.

- What's he like?

- Loud.

(CHUCKLES)

(GRUNTS WITH EXERTION)

Sorry. I think I did that.

Hey?

I think I made you fall over. Sorry.

I have to watch out for my powers.

They're too dangerous.

My brother says

that's how my mum died.

'Cause of my powers were too strong

when I was getting born.

You gotta use them to do good, eh?

Just like in the comic books.

What are we looking for?

Anything.

Quick! Here they come.

Here come the cops!

Quick! Quick! Here! Here!

Alright. Where am I? Here. Here.

Dig. (GRUNTS)

- Forget it, man.

- Something here. It's right here.

That's where it is.

Not there.

So, I mean... I would've...

I would've run further than that.

- (SIGHS) I thought you knew, man.

- I do.

It's a certain number of steps

from the post.

I just can't remember

the exact number of steps...

- (SIGHS)

- ...or the post.

If we're digging here,

why didn't you draw a map?

I was in a hurry.

Cops were right behind me.

I don't have time

to start drawing maps.

Let's just get a tractor

and dig it up, man.

Yeah, if I want to dig holes all

day, I would've stayed in jail.

You know what... I'm f***ing sick

of this sh*t from you pricks.

I'm making history here.

They're gonna write about me.

You can say, "I was part of that."

Want to be part of it or not?

If not, piss off.

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