Boy Page #3

- Yeah, I want to be part of it.

- Hey, Dad.

Hey, Uncle!

- Wave.

- Hey.

What are you looking for?

Something.

What? Worms?

Treasure.

We're looking for a package, OK?

Its about this big.

Yep. Covered in plastic.

When you find it...

(LAUGHS)

Hey, Dad. Do you know

what 'potential' means?

- What?

- Mr. Langston says it.

Oi! Cut it out, you pricks!

Quit pissing around.

Dad, what are you gonna do

with the money?

I don't know. What do you reckon?

You should buy a big-ass house.

Mmm. Maybe I should.

Maybe I should buy me a dolphin too,

ride around on him all day.

You can have one too. And Rocky.

Yeah, all three of us on dolphins...

...that go anywhere...

...do what we want...

...be anyone.

Dad...

...look at this.

Oi! Where'd you get this?

Give it here.

- Oh.

- Where'd you get it?

- Oh, I found it.

- Where?

On the side of the road.

Hey, you make sure

you find any more of this,

you bring it straight to me, eh?

Straight to me. OK?

GIRL:
(CALLS) Boy! Quick!

Nan's on the phone!

Keep digging!

Where's he going?

Its not really a gang.

There's only three of them.

Hey!

Mum, it's me... Alamein.

I'm good. I'm home.

Well, how are you?

Yeah, I got you a present.

It's a type of oven.

Only rich people have them.

Uh, when you getting home?

There's all these kids here.

Yeah, we're getting on great.

Hey, um...

Uh, do you think

I could borrow some money?

I'm just a bit broke at the moment.

Oh, it's not fair, man.

These kids get more than we ever got.

Oh, I know it's not a competition.

Never said it was.

Eh?

- No, you grow up!

- (LAUGHS)

I will spend more time

with those boys.

Quality time.

Eh, look at the skin under here.

Black as night.

You must be part African.

Sh*t. Everyone will think

Michael Jackson moved to town.

(BEEPS HORN)

(GRUNTS)

Aarggh!

You! Yeah, you.

You stay there.

Is your name Holden? Is it? Yeah?

Picking on my son, are you?

Want me to pick on you?

Man, I mean, E.T. is one of

the ugliest buggers I've ever seen...

big googly eyes, long neck.

But you know what... on his home

planet, he probably looks normal.

Hey, what's that kid doing out here?

Rocky...

...what are you up to?

Does he actually know how to speak?

Rocky, what are you doing, egg?

Playing.

Well, Rocky, come on, man. We're

going to go to the beach. Come with us.

(SIGHS)

Hurry up, you egg!

Come on.

Cool.

This is good, what we're doing.

Quality time.

Ah, it's nice here.

I like the waves. They're romantic.

Did you and Mum meet here?

Nah.

We met at school

when we were kids.

Even then, I knew she was the one.

Why? You got a girlfriend?

Oh, there's this girl

that really likes me a lot.

But I don't know if I wanna,

you know, get involved.

Mmm. Mmm.

Well, don't get her pregnant.

That's all.

- Hey?

- Its the number one rule.

Hey, you can show her your dick,

feel her tit.

I'd be happy

if you just got a hickey.

But don't have a kid, 'cause I don't

want to be a koro just yet.

A hickey!

Well, she ain't gonna touch you

looking like that, man.

You want to dress up a little,

like me.

Can I be on the Crazy Horses

one day?

(SIGHS)

Oh, you're a bit young, man.

It's more of an adult's game

and we don't muck around

with toys and games.

Maybe when you're older.

Come on. Gear up.

We're going over the top.

(YELLS) Let's get 'em, man!

- Charge!

- Charge!

(IMITATES GUNFIRE)

Move, move, move, move, move!

Ohh!

(IMITATES GUNFIRE)

Its buried treasure.

What?

Buried treasure, man.

Like a pirate's treasure.

Like gold?

Yeah, but better... money.

- How much?

- About a million dollars.

What happens if we find it?

Then we're out of here!

Buy a house in the city,

buy a big car,

buy some dolphins.

Probably dress up

in tuxedos all the time too.

I don't wanna go to the city.

I bet ya

there's even a swimming pool.

- I can swim in the sea.

- Go on, then.

Meanwhile, me and Dad will be

relaxing in our swimming pool,

riding dolphins

and drinking cocktails.

And you'd better not tell anyone

or I'll knock your bloody block off.

(IMITATES GUNFIRE)

This party's dead.

It's not a party, egg.

It's a get-together.

There's a difference.

Rightio. If it was a party,

you'd know about it.

Whatever.

Rocky...

Oh, see ya.

Hey, you having a good time?

- Yeah.

- Yeah?

Yeah, your haircut seems to be

a bit of a hit.

- Hey, you want a little sip of beer?

- Yeah.

Little one.

Good?

Yep.

11, eh? That's pretty young

for your first sip.

Oh, if you find any more of that

stuff, bring it to me, eh?

OK.

And can you stop calling me "Dad"?

It sounds weird. Besides,

we're more like bros, you and me.

- Then what shall I call you?

- I don't know. What do you reckon?

- Alamein?

- Maybe.

What about 'Shogun'? I like that.

- What's Shogun?

- Samurai master.

Like a commander.

- He rules the samurais.

- Like ariki.

Yeah, but he's a samurai.

Samurais are better.

BOTH:
Shogun.

Yeah. Oh, that sounds good!

So what should we call me?

I don't know. 'Little shogun'?

That'd be funny.

Hey, Boy.

Oh, hi, Al.

ALAMEIN:
Hey, boys!

Come in. Come in.

Here, have a seat.

- Go on. Sit down.

- Thank you, Uncle.

Nah, nah, nah. Call me Shogun.

(PEOPLE SPEAK INDISTINCTLY)

This is a party!

Oi, why aren't you out there

making friends?

We don't know no-one, man.

(MOCKINGLY)

"Don't know no-one, man."

Hey, learn how to speak!

- (LAUGHS)

- (LAUGHS)

Boy, you didn't make dinner.

We're hungry!

Do I look like your bloody mother?

Make your own.

Piss off, will ya?

I'm sick of you kids hassling me.

Chill out, man.

Chill out, man. It's a party.

- Eh?

- Chill out.

Oh, too slow, you old man.

Hey! Come over here.

Here's a real man, right here.

This is a real man.

Not like you two eggs.

Hey, my son. My best friend.

My main man.

And my other main man.

Who's this? Three main men.

Who's that? The three main men.

Who's that? The two egg men.

Look at you, man.

Oh, come... come on, man!

Oh, man. I wish he was my dad.

I'm gonna be a Crazy Horse too.

ALAMEIN:
Shogun.

What's my name? Shogun.

I'm a shogun!

I'm a shogun!

(MELODIC MUSIC)

(GROANS)

Piss off, man.

- Hello?

- Oh, hi, Chardonnay.

It's Boy speaking.

I was just wondering

if you would like

to come for a ride

in my dad's cool car.

(IMITATES ENGINE)

Whoo!

Fetch!

(IMITATES TYRES SQUEALING)

I'm bored.

Hey.

Well...

...you can see my dick, but I ain't

allowed to get you pregnant.

You f***ing arsehole.

Look, I got a hickey.

- Man!

- Yeah.

JUJU:
Dig! Dig!

CHUPPA:
That's the way, bro!

Good boy. That's it. That's the one.

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