Boy Page #4

Find my sh*t so I can

get the hell out of here.

Good slave, Boy!

- Not a f***ing slave.

- Sorry, bro.

I wasn't really expecting a hickey.

Well, what? It just came.

It's on my neck... happened.

So you go to punch me

and then I block it?

Yep.

Aarggh! F***!

- You alright, mate?

- Not now!

Is that it?

(MOUTHS)

- (GASPS)

- Stop moving.

- Just hold still, bro.

- It's just hot.

Far. Mean-as tatts.

Yep. And now it's your turn.

- What?

- (LAUGHS)

Don't worry, man,

you'll get the kids' version.

(MEN LAUGH)

- (JAUNTY POP MUSIC PLAYS)

- (IMITATES WHINE OF F1 ENGINE)

(CONVERSATIONAL CHATTER)

- (KNOCK AT WINDOW)

- Know why I pulled you over, miss?

(SIGHS)

- Probably can't even drive, anyway.

- As if you can, egg.

- Far, what happened to your head?

- Its a haircut.

- It's the latest style.

- It's late alright.

Alright, come on in, then.

Phew! This car smells like marijuana.

You shouldn't smoke it.

You'll end up like all the rest

of them dopeheads around here...

laughing at nothing

and crying at everything.

Where you been, anyway?

Ain't seen you in ages.

Hanging with the old man.

- So, who are you here with?

- My mum. She's playing the pokies.

She win anything?

Nuh.

But she reckons it's better to risk

your money on something big,

be real poor, instead of sitting

around being a bit poor.

Far, you've been missing out

on all the fun.

We pushed Murray

off the wharf yesterday.

Ain't got time for that kids' stuff.

I'm working.

Trying to get out of this dump.

When you guys leaving?

Don't know.

When my dad's free, I guess.

- But he's a busy man.

- They always are.

(CONVERSATIONAL CHATTER)

Oh, well, looks like we lost.

- How do you know?

- 'Cause we're going home.

See ya... dopehead.

Weirdo, do you feel sleepy yet?

No.

(SIGHS) My powers must be stink.

Maybe power don't work on everyone.

Well, who, then?

Please, Mum, I just need a little

bit of money till I find my money.

I can't wait for you.

I've got places to be.

And don't expect me

to take them kids.

They're too young

to be Crazy Horses.

My gang. Me and my two mates.

But that's not the point.

We're renegades.

Strictly no kids allowed.

Well, yeah, well, you obviously know

nothing about gangs,

so this conversation's over, OK?

I won't be here when you get home.

- F***in' hell!

- (PHONE DINGS)

(GRUNTS)

(EXHALES)

- (ENGINE REVS)

- Shogun! Shogun!

Take me with you!

Shogun!

Mate, where'd he go?

Is he coming back?

(SIGHS) I don't wanna live here.

(GRUNTS SOFTLY)

- Can I have a go?

- Nope.

You need muscle to do this.

And anyway, this is a man's work.

You're not a man.

Technically, I am. And you're not.

Go on, piss off.

(EXHALES)

(GRUNTS)

(GROANS)

(GRUNTS)

820. 840. 860. 880.

Bloody hell, Leaf! We're rich!

We're bloomin' rich.

You've got some potential too.

(GATE CREAKS)

(WHISPERS) We're rich.

(LOUDLY) Whoo! We're rich!

"Potential. Not now ma... ni... fest,

"or showing signs of ex... is... tence

or activity."

What the hell?

Who the hell are you supposed to be?

I'll take these.

(HUMS)

Now, how many iceblocks

can I get for $5, eh?

$5 in the real world

or Monopoly Land?

- Thanks, Boy.

- Don't call me that anymore.

- What, "Boy"?

- Yeah. I don't like it.

Well, what about Fonzie?

(SCOFFS) Just call me Little Shogun.

- Thanks, Little Shogun.

- Thanks, Little Shogun.

- Thanks, Little Shogun.

- Thanks, Little Fonzie.

No, you look like Michael Jackson

in that jacket.

Yeah, bro.

Scored it from the old man.

There's Holden and Chardonnay.

They're going out now. They've been

French kissing and everything.

Yeah, they've been pashing

at the beach, on a horse,

at the back of the shop.

I heard they were pashing

at the dump too.

So? Pashing's for kids.

Anyway, I'm not here for long.

I'm gonna be moving soon.

Hey, Boy.

Well, well, well,

look at this cheeky fella.

Far, you got your patch already.

Tsk, of course, of course.

Shogun says I have to drink a gumboot

full of beer before I can get one.

He doesn't want you

in our gang no more.

- You pissed him off.

- What did I do?

I don't know, but don't come back

to the clubhouse or he'll kill you.

(SARCASTICALLY)

How's Char-don-nay?

She's cool.

I know she is,

'cause I already rooted her.

- What? Bull.

- Straight up. In my dad's car.

Far, she was good!

You're lying.

I'm gonna ask her, then?

Go on, then. She's a liar, anyway.

And if I see her round my pad again,

I'm gonna make you drink a gumboot

full of knuckles and sandwiches, boy.

- (ENGINE REVS)

- Oh, sh*t.

(BRAKES SQUEAK)

Boy!

Its Big Shogun.

Shogun, you came back.

Look, look what I found.

- Take it off!

- (GROANS)

Take it off. Take... it... off!

Who said you could steal my jacket?

- Nobody.

- That's right... nobody.

Now, where'd you get

that iceblock, hey?

Where'd you get the money

for that iceblock?

Answer me.

Where did you get that iceblock from?

GRACEY:
Alamein!

What the hell is your problem, bro?

What's wrong with you?

I'm teaching him a lesson.

What? He's fine. You're the one

who needs to sort it out, bro!

He needs to learn

about not stealing!

You are such a frickin' egg.

Oh, you are. You're a major egg.

What the hell

did she see in you, eh?

- Ah, shut your face.

- Still a bloody nuisance!

I know you are, said you are.

What am I?

(REVS ENGINE)

Out of my way, you!

- Are you right, Boy?

- Don't worry about it, bro.

Want my iceblock?

(WHITE NOISE)

(EXHALES)

(THUMP!)

(KNOCKS ON WINDOW)

(TAPS ON WINDOW)

(EXHALES)

Sorry about today, B.

I'm under a lot of stress

at the moment.

Got a lot going on, you know?

People trying to bring me down

and sh*t.

The government, mainly, and others.

And I'm getting frustrated,

you know, I can't find my sh*t.

I'm sorry I am like I am sometimes.

I get angry.

A bit like the Hulk. He gets angry.

He's usually helping people,

but sometimes he loses control,

but he's not a bad guy.

Mainly he's a good guy.

Think you can handle having

The Incredible Hulk for a dad?

Yep.

I love you. See ya.

- All good, bro?

- Yeah, bro. Good.

(GROANS) Far.

(PAPER RUSTLES)

(GASPS) LEAF!

- (ELECTRIC BUZZING)

- Eh?

Where are the doorknobs?

(BUZZES LOUDLY)

- Al, stop cooking the doorknobs.

- Shush.

(BANG!)

- (GASPS)

- Ooh, I'm telling.

What's going on in here?

What's that smell?

- Doorknobs.

- Bacon.

Bacon?

Even though he's hideous as,

he's still got some cool powers.

He's got the light in his stomach.

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