Branded

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Belarus. Rated R.

Coming soon to a theater near you.

Ladies and gentlemen,

the second half of our show

will begin in just a couple of minutes.

Please return to your seats.

ey, Misha.

I didn't think anybody

was actually going to show up.

I'm sorry. Do we know each other?

Yes, but you don't remember.

I'm Abby Gibbons. Bob's niece.

Right, yeah.

You came to visit him about seven years ago.

Such a cute little girl you were then.

hanks.

Actually it was nine years ago,

and I remember you very well.

You been in Moscow long?

About a year.

Bob never mentioned it.

Yeah, well, that's my secretive uncle.

And the winner is...

creative director Mikhail Galkin.

Still one of the leaders

in the marketing of movies.

I've just seen the founder and president

of Best Solution,

pioneer of the Russian advertising industry,

Bob Gibbons!

hank you. What are you doing, Misha?

Come on, get over here.

Bob, what's happened?

Why are you back already?

We hit a snag.

You won't be making partner today.

I'm sorry, Mish.

Let's face it, Bob.

For you, this agency is just a cover.

And your people are never going to let me

be a partner in it.

All right, I got it.

So, what are you suggesting here?

Very simple. If I can't be a partner,

then I at least want to be making

the same money off it that you are.

Yeah. Yes.

Where are you? Abby?

Why won't you ever listen to one thing

I ask you to do?

I will call you later.

his goddamn girl's going to be

the death of me.

She won't listen to her parents!

She took a semester off to do

some sort of internship here,

and now she won't leave!

Christ.

and the sun's just starting to set.

I will never understand this crazy country.

One more thing.

I saw howAbby's got her eye on you, so...

She's young and... and stupid.

Please.

Stay away from her.

his is Joseph Pascal,

the world's leading specialist

on marketing.

Bravo.

Today, the biggest fast food chains

were reeling

from a record decline in profits.

heir representatives had assembled

before this guru of marketing

with the hope that he could make a miracle.

I want to talk to you today

about love.

See, I have struggled

to find a way to restore the people's love

of your products,

but it hasn't worked out.

Consumers just no longer wish to buy them.

When it's over, it's over.

hey no longer love you.

he era of fast food has passed.

But I do have a proposal.

Something which exceeds

the limits of marketing

in its traditional form.

A plan which will change the world.

Together, we will make fat beautiful again.

But first, a question.

ow far are you willing to go

to solve your problems?

Whatever it takes.

Within the limits of the law, of course.

I'm afraid that's not far enough.

Not even nearly far enough,

ladies and gentlemen.

he guru's plan was approved.

But due to budget cuts,

it would have to begin

in the third world markets

of Kenya, Brazil and Russia.

So I called because I wanted your advice

on something, Mr. Marketing Award Winner.

But you have to promise

to keep it a secret from Bob.

It's amazing how you Americans

all believe in seat belts.

In America, they advertise them really well.

Yeah, Misha.

Yeah, she's still screaming like total sh*t.

You're fired. Your company's fired.

Do you hear me?

You're never going to work on another movie

for this studio again.

I'm sorry, I have to go.

Let's go.

Check it out.

One of the key instruments

in the Russian part of the plan

was an extreme makeover reality V show.

hey're looking for a Russian

production company

to shoot a Russian version of this show.

he corporate sponsor's representative

is in Moscow right now.

I want to do the pitch to them myself

and get the contract for Astra,

and then they're gonna make me

an exec producer.

Do you really think this is going to work?

Nope.

Misha, what you're doing

had better work.

We need 8 out of 10 people tomorrow

in that focus group

to want to see this movie.

Don't worry, Mr. Johnson,

it'll meet your expectations.

So, Misha, where did you learn

that amazingly perfect nglish of yours?

My father was a British communist.

Immigrated here.

And later, he had a falling out with communism

but they wouldn't let him leave.

- hat's terrible.

- Yeah.

Belarus. Rated R.

Coming soon to a theater near you.

i, Pavel. Yeah, it's fine.

Just add some graphics over the shot that say,

"No one will hear this scream."

Wow!

Sunrise in the middle of the night.

It's so weird.

Mish, you know how much I wanted you

to make partner,

'cause I love you.

Let's have a drink.

So, my very first meal at he Burger in Moscow.

I knew about your guys' custom

for paying for extra ketchup,

so I paid for six packets.

But then, I needed more.

But the cashier says...

"Nyet. Nyet."

"You've already had enough."

Do you understand

what I'm saying to you?

Like she f***ing decides

that I have had enough.

It's not a real burger, Misha,

if I can't have extra ketchup.

It's just a f***ing... it's a f***ing facade.

his whole country is just like one

ollywood backlot-f***ing-facade.

And it's a really shitty made one at that.

ow many of you would buy

a ticket to this movie

based on the advertisement?

hat's right!

I told you this movie could work.

- hanks, brother.

- All right, my friend.

Mish, thanks.

- Bob.

- Yeah?

- You forgot your pen.

- Yes. hank you.

And you still haven't got back to me

about my new deal.

I know. I know.

Misha discovered his talent

for marketing

shortly after the fall of the Soviet Union.

Communism was over.

But capitalism had only just begun.

The forbidden brands of the West

became available 24/7

in thousands of newly born kiosks.

Misha was working at one of those kiosks,

having just completed

his university history degree.

There, he learned

the three basic rules of marketing.

He advised the owner to specialize

in selling vodka only.

Sales doubled.

Misha suggested hanging bright yellow signs

above the kiosks

announcing vodka only.

Sales increased 12 times.

The owner bought himself

a used Mercedes S320.

But when Misha asked for a raise,

he was fired on the spot.

He had learned the third rule:

Get paid up front,

because no one believes in marketing.

Enterprising young Misha

abandoned his career

as an unskilled laborer

and opened

his own advertising agency,

Mikhail Galkin Global Marketing,

with funds borrowed from an old family friend,

Yuri Nikolaivich.

That was the first time Misha

appealed to God for help.

i. I'm Bob Gibbons.

Bob agreed to bail Misha out of debt

and to hire him in Bob's

soon-to-be opened

American-Russian

advertising agency.

There was just one catch.

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