Breakup at a Wedding Page #2

Trouble with that was,

Phil already had a best man...

this guy...

and they went way back.

It's Lucha Tonight. I'm

here with Philippe San Pedro.

Philippe San Pedro

backs down from no...

Wow!

Oh, my God! Is that Bena?

Phil just couldn't bring himself

to break his old pal's heart.

Bena, I'm sorry.

I'm sorry.

Oh, my God. He's bleeding.

I feel sick to my stomach.

Buddy, slow down. Slow down.

She needs this.

Take it easy.

That's not the one.

Okay. All right.

He had all but given up.

The house was officially going back on

the market the Monday after their wedding.

But losing the house wasn't the worst thing

that was gonna happen to Phil that weekend.

Let's go! Grab the kids.

Grab the presents.

Let's go now.

So this is just our cake,

and then this is the groom's

cake surprise for Philip.

Phil loves his iPhone,

so I had it specially made...

by the second assistant to the

cake master on the Food Network.

She did my cousin's cake.

I can't eat it though, because

I have a wheat allergy, so, um...

so they made me a cake,

um, which is here.

Looks really good too.

The best part

of wireless mikes?

People always forget

they're wearing them.

Alison, does this freak-out

have anything to do with your...

Oh, Mom, it's not

the shot talking, okay?

I know you, and there is

something you are not telling me.

Mom, stop it.

I'm okay.

I'm more worried about

you. Are you okay?

Is it weird with Dad and her

being around all the time?

Is it weird that

I'm getting ready there?

I am more worried about you.

You cannot please everybody.

What's that supposed to mean?

It means that I am worried...

that you are not gonna enjoy this

magnificent day of your life...

because you are running around trying to

make everything perfect for everybody else.

And eventually, that is how

you're going to lose Phil.

Oh, great.

Thanks a lot, Mom.

Oh, Alison. I didn't mean it

that way, Allie. Please...

So, uh, Alison,

do you have any, um...

Just tell me, what are

your hopes? Oh, my hopes?

Um, I suppose just, like, that

everything goes how it's supposed to go,

that everyone

has an amazing time,

and there's lots of dancing,

lots of eating,

and that my grandmother feels

complete with her time here on Earth.

Is there anything you'd like to say

to the video for Philip and Alison?

I just wanna say that I love my little

girl and her big man so very much,

and I wish them everything

that they could ever want.

And I just, you know, hope I

didn't screw her up too bad.

Are you excited

for your parents?

For your dad to walk you

down the aisle? Uh, yeah.

Yup.

Mm-hmm.

Okay, guys. Who's hungry?

Oh, good. Good. Yay.

After the fireballs cleared,

Phil and Alison moved their rehearsal

dinner to the only place available...

the basement of

a local Knights of Columbus.

Let me take this.

I'm so cold. You're cold?

Okay, leave it on then.

I don't need to tell you

what to do.

Let's eat and party

and... eat and party. Yeah!

Seven-and-a-half foot sub,

on the way.

Let's go...

Here, let me grab this.

Do not drink that, Toddy,

all right?

Got it.

Most videographers won't shoot the

signing of the marriage contract,

but I know better.

For all the bells and whistles

of a lavish ceremony,

real marriage

comes down to paperwork.

There you are,

you precious angels.

Coming straight down

from heaven.

It's so good

to see y'all.

Did you wanna go over those vows? I do.

But first, I really need y'all to

sign this certificate of marriage.

Awesome. We have got

to get that done, okay?

Can I just grab that from you? Oh. Okay.

And we'll throw this

in the back.

I'll call my lawyer. Then we'll come

find you. You better not call your lawyer.

I'll be in there.

You can find me.

Ready?

- Oh, wait. Hold on.

- Philip...

I gotta take this call.

Do not take that.

Look, I got...

Look, put it over here.

Phil. Phil. Do not take that.

I gotta take this call, babe.

It could be Damian, all right? Do not...

Look, just give me

one minute.

I'll be right back.

One minute.

Damian,

can you hear me?

I'm going where

I can hear you.

- Is Alison all right?

- I think she is.

How would you be? You know, bad

rehearsal, good marriage maybe.

- Really?

- That didn't happen at my wedding.

I just made that up.

I just made that up.

No, I think that's a thing.

Now it's a thing. They

have a sense of humor.

Ah, babe, I'm so sorry.

It was Damian.

I'm so sorry, okay?

Here we go.

I'm not... I'm not going...

I'm not going back out there.

Babe, we gotta bring this out.

I don't wanna go back out there.

Let's just drop this off.

No. I won't go out there.

What...

What's going on, babe?

Are you okay?

No, I'm not okay.

Close the door.

What's the matter? This is not

working. It's just not working.

I just don't feel... I just

don't feel good. Babe, babe.

Have you ever seen their

Halloween costumes? No.

Oh, my God. What?

They go all out.

You can't go to a party

with them...

'cause there's no way you can

possibly beat... No, It's crazy.

You just have to, like, go

buy a mask... Sloth and Chunk.

Sloth and Chunk were amazing.

I know.

- Oh, my God.

- Phil really does the best Sloth.

Scottie Pippen,

Michael Jordan.

Oh, yeah, that was good.

It was crazy.

Wait a minute. How did they do

that? Were they in blackface?

No, they weren't

in blackface.

But hands down,

the best costume ever:

2007, Stephen Hawking

and the universe.

Oh, my God!

Alison just ruled him.

I think

I've just been, like,

going along with this for a

long time and kind of just, like,

going through the motions and just

getting caught up with everything,

and... I just...

Babe, this was your idea.

I know, but I just

thought, like...

This is your day.

I know.

This is the day you dreamed of

when you were a little girl. I know!

Why would you wanna have a wedding

if you didn't wanna get married?

This is what you wanted,

right?

You wanted to have a wedding.

No, I didn't.

No, I didn't.

You wanted to get married.

No, I just...

No, I just...

I don't know.

It's what normal people do.

I don't know. I didn't

ever really want it.

We can't have these guys

come all this way, you know,

and then we're gonna

cancel the wedding.

You wanna cancel the

wedding? I can't do it.

You're actually

being serious.

This is just cold feet.

This is some normal...

I gotta tell these people.

What? No.

I gotta tell 'em.

What do you wanna do?

I don't know.

You tell me.

What are we doing?

You've got me so confused

right now, Alison.

I know, but...

What if we had a wedding

and we had a reception,

and just don't sign

that sheet of paper?

And then no one knows

that it's not official,

and everyone dances

and drinks,

and we feed them

and everyone has a great time.

This is ludicrous.

No, it'll be easier.

I think

I'm gonna throw up.

We're not gonna get the deposits

back. You said so yourself.

Yeah, we're not gonna

Rate this script:0.0 / 0 votes