Breathless Page #6

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- A flirting flip hair clip.

- Oh.

It comes free with that

odious hair spray you use-

what was it? Colossal spray.

How does that ditty go?

Colossal hair spray

More hold, less fray.

It must have come off atone of them

passionate rendezvous of yours.

What, did you think

I wasn't gonna find out?

I seen the way

he'd look at you.

Oh.

Hell, Lorna,

I don't know

how it happened.

Oh, you don't know how

it happened?

Well, I'll tell you

how it happened.

You couldn't just go and beguile

any man on this earth.

It had to be mine.

Dale wasn't much to look at,

but he was my husband.

I thought we was best friends.

We are.

That don't change.

Like hell it don't.

What about the money?

What about what you said

about us finding that money

and then splitting it?

Was you lying?

- Was you?

- All right, enough.

Now you'll have all the time

in the world to have it out

once I'm good and gone,

but let's get at what I'm here for.

The money, God damn it.

Where's the money?

The money, God damn it.

Where's the money?

- See what you did?

- What I did?

If you'd have trusted me,

we wouldn't be in this predicament.

Oh, trusted you?

I mean, you could have

just asked me about it.

Ask you about

screwing my husband?

Well, we sure wouldn't be in this mess

that we are right now.

How was I supposed to know

that he was gonna up and rob a bank

in the middle

of this investigation?

Well, he's your husband. Aren't wives

supposed to know these things?

Will you two just

shut the hell up?

God, I've had it up to here

with your female chatter.

It's enough to drive

a perfectly sane man fruity.

Do you mind?

We are trying to have

a meaningful conversation here.

Well, you're gonna have that

meaningful conversation in hell

if you don't tell me

where that money is.

Do you think I'm stupid?

What are you talking about?

There's a sheriff's car

parked right outside there.

You so much as breathe funny,

and Sheriff Cooley will be at that door

faster than a fly

on horseshit.

Well, no need to get hostile.

We don't know where the money is.

Tell him, Lorna.

- She's telling the truth for once.

- We have turned this place

inside and out.

We haven't found a damn thing.

I could have sworn

Dale hid the money in here.

She said she knew him

like the back of her hand.

I guess the wife's always

the last to know.

I don't believe you

for a minute.

Why would we be lying?

Because you're women.

It comes natural.

Now one of you two damn squaws

knows more than you're letting on.

I just haven't figured out

which one it is yet.

What are you

going on about?

God damn it!

Drop the dumb act.

I know how it played out.

Now I know for a fact

that Dale

jumped into the passenger seat

of that getaway car when he evaded.

Huh? Yeah, that's right-

the passenger seat.

The bank teller swore to it.

And last time I checked, we wasn't one

of them British Commonwealth countries.

No, sir, we do our driving

on the left out here,

the way God intended.

So that means that somebody else

was driving that car

when the thieving went down.

And I figure one of you two beauties

is a coconspirator.

You was in on this

since the beginning.

All right, but all I did

was drive the car.

I mean, I borrowed Rose's Corvair

so the law wouldn't be on our tracks.

I can't believe my ears.

Well, Dale said he'd make it

worth my while if I just helped him out.

Instead he was just planning

to make a run for it

without saying

so much as a goodbye.

What is so goddamn funny?

He went and double-crossed

you too.

That's what you get

for leaving an adulterous dog

in charge of the money.

He just went

and promised me the moon.

Oh, and you believed him?

He was two-timing his own wife.

My God, you're dumber than I thought.

Shut up. Shut up.

Shut up! Shut up! Shut up!

Shut up! Shut up!

Shut up!

Lookie here,

you folks are really interesting

company, all right?

And I would just love to stay

and hear more

about the joys

of holy matrimony

and the rewards

of true friendship,

but I'm in a tad

of a scramble.

I want the money!

I don't give a hoot

what you have to do,

but you produce the cash

or I will shoot you both dead

right here, right now,

swear to God.

- Wait a second.

- What?

I just thought of a place

we ain't looked.

Where?

Well, it's a bit of a tight fit.

I don't think he could stash

nothing down there.

Well, no, I bet-- I wouldn't be

surprised if he put it there.

In fact, nothing about this

whole goddamn affair

could possibly

surprise me anymore.

Go ahead, lead the way.

Where does it go?

Outside.

I can hear the rats scampering

between the walls at night.

Give us a screwdriver,

will you?

Nah, I'll do the honors.

Now you're liable to have

a gun stashed in there.

Aren't you the clever one?

My daddy always said

trusting women is like

petting a rattler

and hoping he don't bite.

Goddamn mousetrap!

God damn it.

Oh, God.

Oh, God. God.

God damn you.

My daddy warned me.

Figure it was self-defense?

Absolutely.

I concur.

I'll drink to that.

Here you go.

Oh, son of a b*tch!

Damn it.

You know what I think?

What?

You had no intention

of splitting nothing

with me 50/50.

That's what I think.

You knew I was screwing Dale

behind your back,

and if I know anything

about you, Lorna,

you ain't exactly

the forgiving type.

I think you was gonna take

all that money

and just run.

And you know

what else I think?

I think you know

where the money is.

You're right.

I do know

where that money is.

You do?

Sure.

Why don't you just

lower them guns?

And we'll have

a good talk about it.

You think I'm stupid?

Well, Tiny,

intellectual fancy

has never really been

your oyster.

Well, then please

impress me

with your acumen.

Where is the money?!

Easy-peasy.

Did you happen to notice

anything peculiar

about my dear old husband's

fingernails this morning?

Can't say I ever paid Dale's fingernails

no never mind. Why?

Well, if you had,

you would have realized there was

all sorts of dirt under them.

Dirt?

Did you ever notice

my daisies outside?

Yeah. What about them?

Do you think

it's easy to grow

prizewinning daisies

in this vicious heat?

I don't know.

Well, let me tell you,

you need a green thumb

and a perfect combination

of potting soil

to grow those flowers

out there.

It ain't no coincidence

I was Miss Flower Fingers

of Clark County

two years in a row.

Too much manure

and you got

disease specimens

growing all kinds of lint.

You ever see a lazy daisy leaf

defaced by honey fungus?

I can't say I ever have.

Tiny, I hope you never do.

It is a sight

you won't easily forget.

God damn it, Lorna!

We ain't talking about

just dirt here.

We are talking

equal parts humus

and manure

and a whole hell of a lot

of charcoal.

It's as black

as a burned-out spark plug

and it smells like hell.

I'd recognize my special blend

of soil anywhere.

And Dale's fingernails

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