Bridal Wave Page #4

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I'M GLAD YOU DID.

I LOOKED YOU UP.

YOUR WORK ON:

THE SKY-VISTA DEVELOPMENT?

EXACTLY WHAT I'M LOOKING FOR.

YOU SEE, THE

BOTTOM LINE IS,

I'M EXPANDING

THE HOTEL,

AND I WOULD LIKE

TO HAVE YOU INVOLVED.

HOW MUCH BIGGER:

DO YOU PLAN ON GETTING?

IT'S JUST THE ROOFTOP ALTAR

HAS A BIRD'S-EYE VIEW

OF MY BATHTUB.

[CHUCKLES]

YOU DO REALIZE THA I'M OFFERING YOU A JOB.

I DO,

IT'S JUST WHEN I MOVED HERE,

THIS PLACE HAD 15 ROOMS

AND A FEW WEDDINGS A MONTH.

AND A PU-PU BAR THAT WASN'T RUN

BY HOMELAND SECURITY.

IT WAS PARADISE.

SO IF YOU'RE JUST PLANNING

ON STACKING MORE SUITES

ON TOP OF PARTY ROOMS,

I'M NOT THAT GUY.

I WAS.

BUT I'M NOT THAT GUY ANYMORE.

WELL, YOU DO REALIZE

THAT I'LL JUS HIRE SOMEONE ELSE, HMM?

YEAH.

YEAH, I KNOW.

I DON' UNDERSTAND THIS.

I TALKED TO:

THE CONCIERGE.

HE SAID THE CAR:

WOULD BE HERE:

IN TIME FOR ME TO MAKE

MY APPOINTMENT IN TOWN.

YOU NEED TO MAKE

A CALL, OKAY?

THE BRIDE NEEDS TO HAVE

HER WEDDING DRESS

FITTED TODAY.

PEOPLE ARE:

EXPECTING US.

I NEED A CAR NOW.

WELL, IS IT COMING?

[ENGINE CHUGGING,

STARTER STRUGGLING TO LIFE]

YOU HAVING:

SECOND THOUGHTS?

GO.

- WHOA!

- GO, GO, GO!

OKAY! ALL RIGHT.

ALL RIGHT.

MAN...

NOT THAT I MIND, BUT...

WHAT ARE YOU DOING?

AVOIDING A WEDDING

DRESS SHOW-DOWN

WITH MY FUTURE MOTHER-IN-LAW.

A WHAT?

I WANT TO WEAR MY MOM'S DRESS.

SHE WANTS ME IN VERA WANG.

OKAY, SO, WHERE

ARE WE GOING?

ANYWHERE OUT OF:

THE LINE OF FIRE.

AND THEN WHAT?

AND THEN...

I HIDE TILL DINNER.

WHERE'S DR. HAMILTON

IN ALL OF THIS?

I'VE SEEN YOU

SIX TIMES ALREADY,

AND EVERY TIME,

YOU'RE ALONE.

YOU'VE SEEN ME THREE TIMES.

OH, YEAH?

OH, YEAH?

YOU'RE COUNTING?

DR. HAMILTON

IS AWAY ON AN EMERGENCY.

HE'S A SURGEON.

CARDIAC? BRAIN?

RHINOPLASTY.

THAT'S A NOSE JOB.

WHY, YES, IT IS.

WHAT'S THE EMERGENCY?

IS IT RUNNING?

THAT'S SO FUNNY.

I'VE HEARD THAT BEFORE.

IN SECOND GRADE.

WELL, YOU'RE COMING

TO DO AN ERRAND WITH ME.

I'LL HAVE YOU BACK

IN 30, TOPS.

[SIGHS DEEPLY]

WOW.

WANT TO:

GIVE ME A HAND?

YEAH.

JUST GRAB:

THE OTHER END THERE.

YOU MADE THIS?

YEAH.

IT'S BEAUTIFUL.

THANK YOU.

WOW.

SO...

THIS IS WHY:

YOU KIDNAPPED ME, HUH?

FREE LABOR?

EXACTLY.

SO, WE'RE GOING

TO PUT IT JUST OVER HERE.

OKAY.

WHO'S THIS FOR?

WHOEVER WANTS TO SIT HERE.

REALLY?

THE WHOLE ISLAND

USED TO LOOK LIKE THIS.

IT'S BEAUTIFUL.

AND THE BEST PAR ABOUT IT?

NO WEDDINGS:

FOR A 15-MILE RANGE.

YOU DO KNOW YOU CAN

MOVE AWAY FROM THE HOTEL.

YEAH, I DO.

ALL MY NEIGHBORS SOLD,

ONE BY ONE.

HMM...

I'M THE LAST ONE

TO HOLD OUT.

MEANWHILE, IT'S

FOUR WEDDINGS A DAY,

365 DAYS A YEAR.

WELL, I SEE

FOUR NOSE JOBS A DAY,

THAT'S 1040 NOSES A YEAR.

PLUS OTOPLASTIES.

AUTO-- WHAT?

SURGERY TO GE YOUR EARS PINNED BACK.

[LAUGHS]

WHO WOULD WAN TO DO THAT?

BIG EARS ARE:

AESTHETICALLY DISPLEASING.

THEY THROW THE FACE

OFF-CENTER.

OFF-CENTER,

IT'S SO UNDER-RATED.

LIKE HALIBUT?

LIKE...

THE SYDNEY OPERA HOUSE.

STONEHENGE.

WELL...

THE HUMAN HEART.

ALL ASYMMETRICAL,

ALL BEAUTIFUL.

LOOK...

RIGHT THERE,

YOU SEE THOSE ROCKS?

MM-HM.

THOUSANDS OF YEARS

OF WATER:

CUTTING UP AGAINST IT.

HOW IMPERFECT IS THAT,

YET PERFECT.

WE SHOULD...

WE SHOULD GO.

YEAH.

YEAH, LET'S GO.

[ENGINE STARTER STRUGGLING]

[STARTER STRUGGLING]

[STARTER STRUGGLES]

I, UH, THOUGH THIS BATTERY

AT LEAST HAD:

ONE MORE CHARGE IN IT.

[STARTER CHUGGING]

OKAY, BUT...

YOU CAN FIX IT.

YEAH. NO PROBLEM.

ALL WE NEED:

IS ONE MORE CAR.

I'M CALLING AAA.

[SIGHS] OKAY.

NO RECEPTION.

HOW ARE WE GETTING

OUT OF HERE?

GOOD THING:

YOU'RE NOT WEARING HEELS.

YOU COMING?

ARE YOU SURE:

WE SHOULDN'T BE ON A ROAD?

THIS IS A SHORTCUT.

HOW SHORT?

I DON'T KNOW,

MAYBE 11 MILES?

YOU'RE ENJOYING THIS,

AREN'T YOU?

ARE YOU KIDDING ME?

THIS ENTIRE OUTING HAS

THROWN A WRENCH IN MY PLANS.

[WINCING] AH!

WHAT?

I GOTTA STAR WEARING SHOES.

HERE, LET ME SEE.

YOU'RE NOT GOING TO TRY

AND PIN MY EARS BACK,

ARE YOU?

WHAT IS IT, A NAIL?

NOPE.

A PINE NEEDLE.

WHAT ARE YOU DOING?

WHAT...

THIS IS A NEW T-SHIRT.

I'M HELPING YOU.

HANG ON.

[FABRIC TEARING]

[FABRIC TEARING]

[GROANS]

[SIGHS HEAVILY]

I'M NOT HAPPY ABOUT THIS.

I THOUGHT YOU LIKED

IMPERFECT THINGS.

OKAY.

YOU KNOW,

I WAS THINKING,

WHAT'S THE OFFICIAL CUT-OFF AGE

TO BE AN OLD MAID?

THAT'S WHAT YOU WERE THINKING?

[CELL PHONE CHIMES]

[GASPS]

I HAVE SERVICE.

WE HAVE CONTACT.

YES.

SIX MISSED CALLS?

HIS MOTHER.

FELICE.

DOESN'T THA MEAN "HAPPY"?

IT DID,

BEFORE SHE MET ME.

AND WHAT'S WRONG WITH YOU?

APPARENTLY EVERYTHING.

PHILLIP!

GEORGIE, I SHOULD HAVE

TAKEN YOU WITH ME.

SHEILA WAS ALL THUMBS,

AND SHE FORGOT TO ORDER

THE #9 BLADES.

IS MY MOTHER BEHAVING?

ABOUT THAT, UM...

WHO'S THAT?

NO ONE.

THANKS.

WHERE ARE YOU?

LISTEN,

I GOT A LITTLE SIDETRACKED,

BUT EVERYTHING'S FINE.

ARE YOU ON YOUR WAY BACK?

YEAH, I'M JUS WRAPPING THINGS UP HERE.

I HAVE A QUICK CONSUL ON A NECK LIFT.

I TRIED TO POSTPONE IT,

BUT IT'S THE MAYOR'S WIFE.

PHILLIP, I RESCHEDULED THA FOR NEXT WEEK.

I KNOW.

SHE JUST SHOWED UP.

I WILL BE BACK:

BEFORE MOTHER CAN SEND BACK

THE APPETIZERS, ALL RIGHT?

[TONE BEEPING]

PHILLIP?

HEY...

LET'S GO.

YEAH.

MRS. HAMILTON,

IS THERE SOMETHING

I CAN HELP YOU WITH?

WELL, IT APPEARS AS THOUGH

I'VE BEEN STOOD UP

BY THE BRIDE TO BE.

OH, NERVOUS FORGETFULNESS,

I'M SURE.

AS LONG AS YOU'RE HERE,

I'D LIKE TO GO OVER

SOME OF THE CHANGES

TO THE WEDDING:

WE NEED TO MAKE.

WHEN I MARRIED:

DR. HAMILTON,

WE HAD A SIMPLE WHITE CANOPY

WITH TIVOLI LIGHTS.

WHEN OUR VOWS WERE SPOKEN,

THE LIGHTS SEEMED TO GLOW

LIKE FIREFLIES.

MRS. HAMILTON,

DON'T YOU WORRY.

THIS WILL BE:

A WEDDING MADE IN HEAVEN.

EXCUSE ME.

[MUTTERING]

MADE IN HEAVEN,

LIKE THUNDER AND LIGHTNING.

I ALMOS GOT MARRIED ONCE.

ALMOST?

A PARTNER AT MY FIRM

TOOK OFF WITH MY CLIENTS,

AND MY FIANCEE.

WOW.

THAT'S AWFUL.

YOU KNOW,

YOU'D THINK SO.

BUT ONCE:

THE SMOKE CLEARED,

I REALIZED:

IT WAS THE BEST THING

THAT COULD HAVE HAPPENED.

MY WHOLE LIFE, I WAS JUS GOING THROUGH THE MOTIONS.

WRONG GIRL, WRONG JOB,

NEW BUILDING, BIGGER,

NEWER, PASSIONLESS.

I WAS... I WAS EMPTY.

SO I DROPPED OUT,

AND HERE I AM.

LOST IN THE WOODS.

NO, NOT LOST.

I JUST DON'T WANT TO

BECOME THAT PERSON AGAIN.

WELL, YOU WON'T.

YOU HAVE SCAR TISSUE.

A CUT HEALS,

SCAR TISSUE IS FORMED.

IT'S NOT ALWAYS PRETTY,

BUT IT'S STRONGER,

BETTER.

THAT PROBABLY SOUNDS

SO STUPID TO YOU.

NO. NO, IT DOESN'T.

WHAT IS THIS PLACE?

DESTINATION WEDDING SITE.

CHINOOK.

FROM A TIME WHEN MARRIAGES

LASTED FOR LIFE.

AND FOR OUR DELUXE PACKAGE #2,

WE HAVE OUR NATURAL

SULFUR SPRINGS,

SHROUDED WITH POISON OAK...

[CHUCKLING]

MUSIC COURTESY OF

OUR INDIGENOUS BIRDS,

AND THE COUP DE GRACE,

OUR FRESH BLUEBERRY PATCH,

ALL-YOU-CAN-EAT,

AT NO ADDITIONAL COST.

HEY...

WHAT'S WRONG?

I'M A TERRIBLE BRIDE.

I MEAN, I'M HORRIBLE.

I'VE SEEN WORSE.

NO, YOU HAVEN'T.

OKAY, SO YOU'RE TERRIBLE.

THERE MUST BE A REASON.

THERE ISN'T.

WERE YOU:

LEFT AT THE ALTAR?

NO.

PARENTS DIVORCED?

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