Bridegroom Page #7

And I'm saying, "it's okay,

tommy. It's okay, tommy. "

Meanwhile,

I look like a total hooker.

But it takes forever for

the ambulance to get there...

I want to say 25 minutes later.

They were like,

"do you have his I.D.?

Do you have his I.D.?"

And I was like,

"what the f*** does it matter?!

Just get him on the ambulance!"

- So, I got to the e. R.,

And they took me into a room

where alex was,

And she was hysterical.

- And when I first saw shane,

I said, "I wish it were me. "

I said, "because you two

have each other,

"and the love you have

is so strong,

I wish it had been me

who fell over. "

- I asked her, you know,

"well, what's happening?

Are they working on him?"

I didn't know anything.

And she didn't know anything.

- We hugged, you know,

and we said we loved each other.

And I was still hanging

on to hope that he was okay.

- I tried calling shane,

And I couldn't get through

to him.

And, finally, he calls me back.

He said, "mom,

tom was doing a photo shoot,

And he fell off the roof. "

And I just... "oh, my god. "

I said,

"honey, just keep on praying.

He'll be fine. You know, we'll

get the prayers going here. "

- I got a text message from shane

saying,

"michaela, please pray...

tom's hurt. "

And I immediately got down

and started praying.

- So, a little bit later,

he calls me,

And he says, "mom, they won't

let me in to see him. "

And I said, "well, how come?"

And they said,

"because I'm not family. "

And I just...

"oh, my god, shane. "

- So, I called tom's mom.

And it's, you know,

late at night in indiana.

And, you know, the first thing

she says was,

"well, how much

was he drinking, shane?"

And then his dad,

in the background, was saying,

"well, what the hell

was he doing on the roof?"

From that point forward,

I made sure

To let the nursing staff

or the doctors

Speak to her and to him.

And it had been probably

about an hour later,

The doctor came into the room,

and, like, I just knew.

Like, I knew

what he was gonna say.

And when he was talking,

Like, it wasn't registering

in my head.

Like, I wasn't processing

what he said.

- He just said he didn't make it.

And it was very, you know...

And we all just lost it.

- I had to just leave the room

because I couldn't hear it.

- Alex was crying, and she was

continually doing this...

I think because

she was just so traumatized.

And alex's mom was saying,

"oh, my god.

Oh, my god. "

And sometimes she would say,

"oh, his mother. "

'cause mother's day

was the next day.

- So, I went outside.

I called my mom, and...

And I was like, "mom, he died. "

And, you know, she just said,

"I'm so sorry, shane.

I'm so sorry. "

And he was just crying,

and I'm crying.

And, you know, here you are,

again, 1,500 miles away,

And you can't be there

for your child.

I got ahold of him,

And tom had just died

in the hospital, and...

I don't know.

It's not a moment

I want to ever go through again.

- The worst pain

I have ever felt in my heart.

Like, I just sunk.

- I just said,

"are you f***ing kidding me?

Seriously?" I said,

"seriously, who dies like that?"

- I figured shane was probably

there when he passed,

By his bed, holding his hand.

And he said no.

So, I went to the nurse's

station, and I said,

"you know,

my friend's boyfriend is here.

He just passed away.

Can you take him back?"

And she said, "we can't allow

non-family members to see him

Until his parents arrive. "

So I kept trying

to argue with this nurse.

And the lady was like,

"I understand, honey... I do.

"but it's against

the hospital rules.

He's not his family. "

I said, "but he is his family.

"they have a house together.

They have a business together.

"they have

a dog together.

They've been together

for six years. "

Finally,

we were sitting a the room,

And this one nurse

opened the door,

And she said,

"is shane in here?"

And so we went outside,

And she was holding

tom's license,

And she said, "man, he was

a good-looking guy. Geez.

"and all the nurses back here

are talking

"about how handsome he was,

"and we've been working back

here to try to kind of...

"make him look

the way that you remember him.

Come with me.

We're gonna take you back. "

I think, at the end of the day,

the nurses knew,

You know, it's not a gay thing.

It's not a straight thing.

It's a human thing.

But it was definitely a gift,

I think,

That those women gave to shane.

- So, they walked back

to his room.

There was tubes

all over his body,

Tubes coming out of his chest.

His face was covered,

but you could see that

There, you know, had been blood,

like, all around his face.

And it didn't really seem

like this was happening.

I just stood there for awhile.

I didn't know what to do.

But the only place

that I could put my hand

Was like on his leg.

And I did, you know,

one final "tap, tap, tap. "

- # oh-oh-oh, oh-oh-oh

# oh-oh-oh-oh-oh

# I woke up this morning

# and I heard the news

# I know the pain

of a heartbreak #

- # I don't have answers

# and neither do you

# I know the pain

of a heartbreak #

# this isn't easy

# this isn't clear

- # and you don't need jesus

# till you're here

# oh, the confusion

and the doubts you had #

# up and walk away

# they walk awa-a-a-y

- # when a heart breaks

# when a heart breaks

- A man fell to his death

From a four-story

apartment building

In los feliz last night.

Police say he was taking

pictures of a woman.

They don't suspect foul play,

And are calling his death

a tragic accident.

He was an actor and tv host.

- The days after tom passed away

are kind of a blur.

There was nothing I wanted more

Than just to have my family

there with me.

And so it really meant a lot

That my parents,

although they're divorced,

That they were able to just say,

"look, like,

we're gonna be there for you. "

And my sisters were going to,

as well.

My dad and I,

We went to go pick up tom's car

at alex's place.

And during the car ride home,

We talked about me being gay

for the first time.

- I wanted him to know,

Even though I had never said

anything since he'd come out,

That I fully accepted him.

I think we even talked

about how tom's dad must feel,

Because tom's dad

never accepted tom,

And I wanted it be known

that I accepted my son.

- For the first time ever,

I didn't care about telling

my dad that I was gay.

I didn't care about

acknowledging

That tom and I were

in a relationship.

I just felt, like, fearless.

But it didn't matter anymore.

And tom was gone.

So, I picked martha

up from the airport,

And we went to our house.

She wanted to talk

about bank accounts...

All these things that I did

not want to talk about.

- I remember her looking

around the rooms a lot.

And I didn't really want

to think that way.

I had the feeling

That she just wanted

to go through his stuff.

- She wanted to go through

all of shane and tom's clothes.

He let her go through

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