Bridesmaids Page #2

What is it?

See that?

Oh, my God.

Oh, my God, Brynn!

It's a Mexican drinking worm.

It's a Native American

symbol meaning "wasted."

Okay, Brynn,

just so you know,

it's...

Gil, hi.

Hello. How are you?

Have you seen

your sister's tattoo?

It's really infected.

Better get

a little bit of ice on it.

Yeah, a little bit.

Stick some

frozen peas on there.

Yeah. It can't hurt.

All right.

So, I just wanted

a quick word.

You know that

tomorrow the rent is due.

I was getting my check,

and I wondered

if I could get

your check, too?

Yes.

I'm getting

the money.

It's been

a little slow.

You have to

keep it in the bag

and put the bag on it.

So, the check?

Yes. Yes.

Yeah.

Because it's a kind of,

like, "needing it

today"-type situation.

It's coming.

- Who is it?

- Me!

Who is it?

Oh, my God.

Hurry up, your creepy

neighbor asked me

if I wanted to

watch the news again.

Sorry.

He is so gross.

- Please, come on in.

- Let me take your magazines.

Welcome to the magazine

and wine party. Ooh!

Have a seat.

I'm very happy

that you are here.

What?

Because I want

to eat an apple.

Would you like

some apple?

What is that?

I got engaged.

What?

He asked me last night.

What?

I know!

That's why he's

been acting so weird

'cause he's a terrible liar,

and he thought he

was gonna blow it.

He was ignoring

me and I thought

he was going to

break up with me.

Oh, my gosh.

Oh, my gosh!

I know!

Lil!

I'm shocked, still.

But I'm happy.

Can you believe this?

Oh, my God.

Oh, my God, I just got hot.

You did?

Are you okay?

Yes. My pits

are sweating.

My stomach hurts. I'm hot.

What does that mean?

Oh, my God!

What is happening?

I don't know.

I'm wearing a ring.

I can't believe it.

Lil, you're getting married.

I'm getting married.

And you'll be

my maid of honor.

God, of course I will!

It will be super fun.

It's gonna be really fun.

Yeah. You know,

we can plan

everything together.

My God!

Planning your wedding...

Are you sure

you're up for it?

I know it's a lot to ask

and to put on your plate.

And you're going

through a tricky time,

and you're super-busy...

Stop.

It's a lot to ask.

Stop.

Okay.

It's fine. And I'm

more than happy to do it,

and it's not too much.

Oh! Look at that.

It's my fianc?calling.

Oh, your fianc?

Hi, baby,

what's up?

it's Annie.

I just told her!

Yeah, she's so happy.

No, I'm not!

"Yay," she said.

What, baby?

I know,

I miss you, too.

Yeah,

I'll meet you in an hour.

I love you, too.

Wow.

Wynonna Judd.

That's really good.

Painting those giant bangs

was a royal pain in my can.

And those teeth!

I should have

painted her mouth shut.

Can you just get dressed?

We're gonna be late

for the engagement party.

Oh, I forgot

to tell you, honey.

What?

Forgot to tell you.

What?

I signed up to

speak at AA tonight,

and I just have to.

Mom!

No.

I forgot. I'm sorry.

Sorry, sorry, sorry.

I keep telling you,

you're not supposed

to go to those things.

You're not an alcoholic.

Only because I've

never had a drink.

What?

They are inspiring.

There is this one story

I've just got to tell you.

Sit down.

Okay.

This gentleman

who started

blow-jobbing to get crack.

His name is Marvin Johnson...

Mom, anonymous.

You keep... It's no names.

Okay, okay.

Forget it.

Marvin J. Whatever.

Too late.

Well, he became

a gay prostitute.

And he realized that

he had hit his bottom.

And I have been thinking,

honey,

that maybe this

is your bottom.

I'm telling you,

hitting bottom

is a good thing.

Because there's

nowhere to go but up.

Right?

Yep. That's what you say.

Yeah, a positive message.

Yeah.

Yeah. Thanks for

the pep talk, Mom.

Honey. Anytime, anytime.

All right. I guess I'm

going to Lillian's party

by myself, then.

Don't talk to me

about being by yourself.

I go everywhere

by myself.

Thanks to that

new whore, Barb.

Mom, come on.

No, I don't like to say it.

They've been

married 12 years.

Okay.

But she's still a whore.

I'm sure she greets

him in the evening,

beaver first.

I don't want to

think about that.

I bet she got that car

by giving your dad

something sexually.

'Cause there was

one thing I would

never do,

and I'm sure Barb

is a champion at it.

I don't want to know.

It's called

a "chicken coop."

Of course it is.

You start at the back

and you peck your way

to the front like

you have a beak.

And then you end up

with two eggs

in your mouth.

That's gross.

Well, I'm sure

your dad likes it.

Of course,

he grew up on a farm.

Okay.

You sure you don't

want to move in with me?

Mom, thanks,

but no way.

No way in hell.

Yeah?

No, thanks.

Think about it.

Okay.

You don't need

your own place.

Yeah, I Kind of do.

Okay.

All right,

I'm going to go.

All right.

Holy sh*t.

Ohh. Valet. Perfect.

Sorry.

Needs a wash.

You have to

punch it a few times.

Annie!

Oh, my God!

Oh, my God,

Lillian.

I know.

This is your

engagement party.

Isn't that crazy?

It's so beautiful.

I can't believe

Dougie's boss

is a member here.

I know,

and his parents, too.

And Dougie, I guess.

Gosh, and me,

I guess, too, now.

Come on, let's go

say hi to the rest

of the bridal party!

You remember

my cousin Rita?

Rita.

Annie.

I haven't seen you

since you

graduated high school.

She has

three kids now.

- Three boys.

- They're so cute.

They are cute,

but when they

reach that age,

they are disgusting.

They smell,

they are sticky,

they say things

that are horrible,

and there is semen all

over everything, okay?

Disgusting.

I cracked

a blanket in half.

Do you get where

I'm going with that?

I do.

I cracked it

in half.

What?

Annie,

this is Becca,

my friend from work.

We are in

the trenches together.

Hey. it's great

to meet you.

Hey, how are you?

Nice to meet you.

This is my husband,

Kevin.

Hi.

"Husband."

I like to say it.

We are newlyweds.

Wow. Congratulations.

Thank you so much.

We went on

a sweetheart honeymoon.

Oh.

Where did you guys go?

Disney World.

Disney World.

We finish each

ether's sentences.

Sorry.

Sorry.

Is this your husband?

No, no, no, no, no.

I don't know him.

I'm sorry.

Do you want to go

for a walk later?

Oh. I can't.

All right.

I can't. I'm sorry.

I'm so sorry.

I'm not with anybody.

I'm here solo.

Let's start it again.

I'm Becca.

Rewind.

This is my husband.

You don't have a husband.

Sorry.

And this is

Dougie's sister, Megan.

- Hey.

- Hi.

My grandma is not

supposed to have wine.

I'll be right back.

Hey.

Hey. How is it going?

It's going great.

It's going great.

I'm on the mend.

I just got some

pins in my legs.

Believe it or not,

pins in my legs,

I can still do this. Right?

I fell off a cruise ship,

but I'm back.

Oh, sh*t.

Yeah, "Oh, sh*t."

Yeah, "Oh, sh*t."

Took a hard,

hard, violent fall.

Kind of pin balled down.

Hit a lot of railings,

broke a lot of sh*t.

I'm not going to

say I survived,

I'm going to say I thrived.

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