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about helping the Orc kid?

I'm not saying it would've changed...

anything, but, sh*t, it might have.

I got confused.

And with humans, you understand,

everything is so definite.

Like, you say something,

and all of a sudden it's law,

and you can't walk it back.

You gotta tell me...

if I'm supposed to be your partner.

I don't care what we'll say to them,

but you gotta tell me the truth.

You can't lie to me.

Oh, so I'm supposed to trust you

when you don't trust me?

That's a good point.

You're a good cop.

And people are really hard on you, so...

you're really hard on yourself.

Come on, crazy.

Ward, do you know that you are

who I wish I was?

You're fearless.

You always know what to do.

What you did tonight,

that's what it takes for an Orc

to get blooded.

An act of great bravery.

To me, you're like a blooded human.

I used to be like you.

Think you can save everybody

and fix everything and...

Now I just pretend to be a good dude.

You still are one.

Are we friends?

Nah, Nick. We're not friends, man.

You don't want me as a friend.

Show me your f***ing hands, Ward.

Whoa, Rodriguez, what are you doing?

Show me your f***ing hands.

- Hey! I called you.

- Show me your f***ing hands.

- Are you a part of this?

- Part of what?

All I know is I heard chatter on the radio

saying you killed a bunch of cops.

- Put your gun down. Listen, the guys...

- Shut the f*** up.

- Hey!

- Yo! Drop the weapon.

- Tikka, stop. All right. Relax.

- Drop the f***ing weapon!

Drop it now!

- Rodriguez. Listen to me.

- Get away from the gun!

Listen!

The guys on our watch tried to do us

over a Wand.

We have a Wand.

We have a Magic Wand.

- All right, show me the Wand.

- Don't show him sh*t.

- He's gonna shoot us and take it.

- Slow.

Jakoby!

Sh*t.

Okay, first thing we gotta do

is keep that away from the bad guys.

- I'm gonna make a phone call. Put it down.

- All right.

- Put it down. Now step back!

- Rodriguez...

Step the... God damn it!

What the f***? Is that an Elf?

- Rodriguez, put the phone down.

- Step the f*** back!

- Put your phone down.

- I'm calling the feds.

- It's what we're supposed to do.

- Listen to me.

- Chill. Chill. Chill.

- Listen. We don't know who's dirty.

- Rodriguez, put the phone down.

- Shut the f*** up.

- Put the phone do...

- Hold on!

Don't tell 'em sh*t.

I got a deputy claiming to have the Wand.

Yes?

They wanna know where we're at.

Give me the phone.

Give me the phone.

Who is this?

Who's this?

The motherf***er with the Wand.

You called us. Where are you?

All right, look...

I got the Wand, but I need something.

- You need forgiveness.

- If I give you this Wand.

And let's just say...

I don't know, somebody accused me of,

uh, some dumb sh*t, like...

killing a bunch of cops.

A man like you could fix that sh*t, right?

If you were protecting a weapon of magic

from, let's say, corrupt individuals...

there would be no charges.

That's exactly what happened.

Hypothetically.

A man like you could dead that noise,

right?

- Do you have the Elf girl?

- Yeah.

Yo.

- Can only narrow it down to a few blocks.

- Okay.

Come on, let's go! Move out! Move out!

- The phone died.

- Sh*t.

- All right, look...

- Okay. No, hold the... Hold the f*** up.

- Hey, Rodriguez...

- Have to cuff your partner.

- Nobody's handcuffing anybody.

- It doesn't look good.

A f***ing Orc and a bunch of dead cops?

All right.

What the f*** is that supposed to mean?

I'm just being real with you, man.

They want it to be Jakoby.

Okay? Whether it's him or not.

If he's not cuffed

by the time they get here,

they're gonna smoke

both of you motherfuckers.

- Cuff your partner.

- Don't...

- Ward, it's okay.

- Don't reach on me like that.

We can't run all night.

Let's do it.

It's time to end this.

Let's go in.

Take my gun.

Turn around.

Hey, Ward...

I can't go to prison.

They'll skin me alive.

You're not going to jail.

You didn't do sh*t.

I shot everybody.

Ward, shut the f*** up and lawyer up.

Aah!

Get inside! Get inside! Go!

Sh*t. What was that?

Good girl. Let me out. Let me out.

You see anything?

- No, I can't see anything.

- Sir, get away from that window!

Oh, sh*t! Move! Come on!

Traitor.

Oh, sh*t, sh*t.

Get me out. Get me out.

Get me out!

Oh, God.

Oh, sh*t.

I told you Orcs hold grudges.

Huh? What'd I say?

All right, look. I'm gonna cut you a break

on the reckless driving.

But I need you to return to your vehicles

and drive home safely.

So I need you to take your fat

Shrek-looking ass

back to your vehicle

and drive the f*** home to Fiona. A'ight?

- Do you wanna go to jail?

- Fiona?

Tell these d*ckheads in Orkish

to get the f*** back in their vehicles

and drive home,

- or they're all going to jail.

- But... they speak English.

But... You understand, right?

Speak English?

Yeah. Of course.

Take 'em to the church!

You know...

I'm not from here.

I grew up in Miami.

Great Orc communities there,

strong Orc communities.

We'd have block parties

with dwarves and humans.

It was f***ing fun, man.

I wasn't in the game then.

I was a bus driver.

Then I moved to LA.

F***ing City of Angels, right?

Listen, I would really appreciate it

if you gave me the respect

of looking at me when I'm talking to you.

I get here and I see

how broke the system is.

Orcs caught between the police

and the gangsters.

Elves making money off us.

- So I organize...

- Tikka.

...my community.

We got our own thing now.

Every month...

- Look at me, motherf***er.

- Sorry.

Every month...

I throw a big party.

Get everyone drunk, feed 'em.

All races...

partying together, with one rule.

No guns.

After years of peace...

who brings in the guns?

We did, yeah.

- The drama?

- Us.

Disrespects our celebration?

The motherfucking police!

An unblooded Orc.

Grew up with humans. Never had a hand

raised for him in respect.

What's he saying?

- Playing the nice guy.

- Nothing I haven't heard before.

Your buddy's so happy to say

he's got a Orc friend.

Sh*t. I'm stuck with this motherf***er.

- Seriously?

- I'm just saying,

ain't like we's stomping

through the club together.

Ward.

Where is the Wand?

What Wand?

- Hey, man, we're family.

- Hey, Nick.

He's just trying to get in your head.

Don't let him in your head.

I'm not trying to get in his head, man.

I'm in his soul.

We're the same thing.

- I'll tell you where the Wand is.

- Yeah?

It's up your f***ing ass.

Where's the Wand?

Whip these motherfuckers.

Get them!

Don't hurt 'em.

P*ssy.

Roundtooth.

False Orc.

Unblooded coward.

Where is the Wand?

What... What Wand?

You motherfucking d*ckhead!

Where is the Wand?

What Wa... Wand?

There's no Wand!

Altamira thinks there's a Wand.

The police think there's a Wand.

The feds think there's a Wand.

I think there's a Wand!

There's no Wand.

Ghetto Fairy tales.

Bring me the Elf.

I will cover you with her hot blood.

She don't have sh*t to do with this.

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