Britney Ever After Page #2

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ON TV THE OTHER DAY,

AND I WAS JUST LIKE,

"THIS IS SO COOL."

IS THERE A SPECIAL GUY

IN YOUR LIFE?

NO, I'M TOTALLY FOCUSED

ON MY CAREER.

HI, Y'ALL.

SMILE, BRIT.

I'M SMILING.

NO, REALLY SMILE,

LIKE, "I'M DREAMING

ABOUT BOYS...

BUT SAVING MYSELF FOR JESUS."

THEY HAVE NO IDEA

WHAT WE'RE SAYING.

SO WE GOT A PHONE-IN

AT 6:
00 A.M.,

A PRESS APPEARANCE AT 1:00,

THEN TECH REHEARSAL

AT 3:
00.

OKAY, THEN YOU SCHEDULED

SOME FUN, RIGHT?

WHAT DO YOU MEAN,

THIS IS ALL FUN.

HAVE HIM PUT IT ON THERE.

FE, PUT IT IN THE SCHEDULE.

THIS IS BRITNEY SPEARS

AND YOU'RE LISTENING TO FM104.1.

THIS IS BRITNEY SPEARS

AND YOU'RE LISTENING

TO THE MIX 96.5.

THIS IS BRITNEY SPEARS,

AND WHEN I'M IN MEMPHIS,

I LISTEN TO...

OH, SHOOT. SORRY.

UM, WHAT'S THE STATION AGAIN?

IT'S THE MIX.

[CRASH]

[LAUGHING]

COME ON. COME ON.

I'VE GOT TO CALL MAMA BACK.

DO WE REALLY:

HAVE TO DO THIS RIGHT NOW?

GINA SAID TO COME NOW.

SOME CHANGE TO THE SCHEDULE

OR SOMETHIN'.

-FE!

-IT'S NOT GONNA TAKE LONG.

LET'S GO.

SURPRISE!

OH, MY GAWD, Y'ALL!

- HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO YOU

-OH, MY GAWD.

HAPPY BIRTHDAY:

TO YOU:

HAPPY BIRTHDAY:

DEAR BRITNEY...

YOU'RE ONE YEAR OLDER, GIRL.

HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO YOU

DID YOU MAKE A WISH?

DANG RIGHT, I DID.

YOU ACTUALLY:

DRINK THAT STUFF?

IT'S WAY TOO SWEET.

I KNOW WHAT'S GOOD, FOOL!

DON'T MIND HIM,

HE ONLY DRINKS THE FINES FANCY-PANTS MER-LOT.

YOU ARE SWEET ENOUGH

ANYWAY, GIRL.

[LAUGHING]

SOMEONE BUST OUT THE CRACKERS,

'CAUSE JOEY'S BRINGING

THE CHEESE.

WHAT'S GOING ON?

NOTHIN'.

COME ON, I KNOW YOU.

JUST HOMESICK.

YEAH.

WE WERE BOTH HOMESICK

WHEN WE DID MMC, TOO, REMEMBER?

WE WERE SO SMALL TOWN,

WE DIDN'T KNOW ANYTHING

ABOUT ANYTHING.

I MEAN, LIKE, NADA.

IT WAS SO MUCH FUN, THOUGH.

I KNOW, AND THIS IS GONNA BE

HELLA FUN, TOO.

EVEN IF YOU'RE NOT HOME,

YOU'VE ALWAYS GOT IT, YOU KNOW?

IT'S RIGHT HERE.

IT'S ALWAYS WITH YOU.

YOU CAN ALWAYS CALL HOME, TOO.

ACTUALLY, I'VE BEEN TRYING

TO CALL MY DADDY.

HIS PHONE'S NOT WORKING.

IT KEEPS GETTING SHUT OFF.

MONEY PROBLEMS?

THEY SPENT A LO TRYING TO GET ME STARTED,

SENDING ME TO NEW YORK.

MONEY'S ALWAYS BEEN TIGHT.

I FEEL BAD.

DON'T DO THAT, ALL RIGHT?

THAT'S NOT ON YOU.

THEY'RE THE ADULTS.

YOU'RE NOT RESPONSIBLE.

I JUST WANT TO HELP THEM.

I WANT TO BUY MY MAMA

A GREAT BIG HOUSE.

YOU WILL.

YOU'RE ABOUT TO BE A BIG STAR.

CAN YOU FEEL IT?

[SNORING]

YOU SURE SHE'S NO GOING TO WAKE UP?

SHE'S LIKE A GRIZZLY BEAR.

SHE DOESN'T SLEEP,

SHE HIBERNATES.

COME ON.

[JUSTIN]:

LOOK AT THIS YOUNG STUD.

[BRITNEY]:
I LOOK GOOFY.

THAT SHIRT, GAWD,

AND I HAVE, LIKE, ZERO BOOBIES,

LIKE, MOSQUITO BITES.

NOT THAT I HAVE MUCH MORE NOW.

I ALWAYS THOUGH YOU WERE BEAUTIFUL.

I STILL DO.

["LIGHT MY FIRE" PLAYING]

IN THE MIDDLE OF THE NIGHT

I CAN HEAR YOUR HEART BEAT

HEART BEAT, HEART BEAT

CALLING OUT MY NAME

YES, I KNOW

IT MUST BE STRANGE...

WHAT'S WRONG?

NOTHING. I'M JUST--

I'M TRYING TO BE A GENTLEMAN.

DON'T BE.

WOW.

NO...

THEY LOOK BIGGER

WITH IT.

SEE?

IT'S A WONDERBRA.

BRITNEY...

YOU'RE PERFECT.

...I SEE YOU IN MY DREAMS

SO DON'T WAKE ME, WAKE ME

I'D RATHER STAY AND SLEEP

IF I HAVE YOU NEXT TO ME

I CAN DO ANYTHING

ANYTHING...

I LOVE YOU.

I DON'T WANT TO PUSH YOU

IF YOU'RE NOT READY.

I LOVE YOU, TOO.

I'M READY.

...BABY

IT'S RIGHT HERE WITH ME

COME AND LIGHT MY FIRE

LIGHT IT, LIGHT I LIGHT IT

DO YOU KNOW HOW LONG

IT TAKES TO BECOME BRITNEY?

FOREVER!

I HATE SITTING IN THIS CHAIR.

I HOPE Y'ALL BROUGH SOMETHING TO DO.

COME ON, WE ALWAYS

HAVE A GOOD TIME!

THESE EXTENSIONS ARE JUS SO TIME-CONSUMING TO DEAL WIT.

IT'S STILL GROWING OUT.

FROM WHEN I SHAVED IT.

[SHAVER BUZZING]

SOMETIMES, I WAKE UP

IN THE MORNING,

AND THINK THAT EVERYTHING

THAT HAPPENED LAST YEAR

WAS LIKE A DREAM OR SOMETHING.

AND I FEEL RELIEVED.

BUT THEN I REALIZE

IT WASN'T A DREAM--

IT WAS ALL REAL.

EVERYTHING JUST GO ALL SMASHED UP,

AND IT'S HARD

TO EVEN THINK ABOUT.

EVERYTHING'S JUST KIND OF

THIS BLUR, YOU KNOW?

LET ME TELL YOU,

BRITNEY IS GOING TO KILL

WHEN SHE PRESENTS

AT THE VMAS THIS YEAR.

SHE'S THE QUEEN OF THE VMAS--

ALWAYS HAS BEEN.

THE SNAKE WAS PROBABLY

MY FAVORITE.

THAT WAS REALLY COOL.

EVEN THE FIRST TIME,

WHEN YOU PRESENTED WITH NSYNC...

YOU WERE ON FIRE.

ME AND JUSTIN:

WERE ALREADY DATING,

BUT ON THE DOWN LOW.

WHY DID YOU KEEP THA A SECRET AS LONG AS YOU DID?

I MEAN, YOU WERE IN LOVE,

WEREN'T YOU?

IT WAS MORE THAN THAT.

HE WAS PART OF ME.

HE WAS EVERYTHING.

["SATISFACTION" PLAYING]

I CAN'T GET NO SATISFACTION

I CAN'T GE NO SATISFACTION

'CAUSE I TRY

AND I TRY:

AND I TRY...

AND I TRY:

I CAN'T GET NO...

I CAN'T GET NO...

WHEN I'M WATCHIN' MY TV

AND A MAN COMES ON

TO TELL ME:

HOW WHITE MY SHIRTS CAN BE

WELL, HE CAN'T BE A MAN

'CAUSE HE DOESN'T SMOKE

THE SAME CIGARETTES AS ME

I CAN'T GET NO...

OH, NO, NO

THE VMAS JUST GOT SHOWN

WHO'S BOSS.

[LAUGHS]

I GOT YOU SOMETHING TO GO

WITH ALL THOSE SPARKLES.

OH, MY GOD, IT'S SO PRETTY.

IT ONLY FITS:

ON MY FAT, LITTLE PINKY!

WELL, I'M JUST GONNA HAVE TO

CALL YOU "PINKY" THEN, PINKY.

WELL, I'M GONNA CALL YOU

"STINKY" THEN.

YOU KNOW WHY...

I WANT EVERYONE TO KNOW

YOU'RE MY STINKY.

LET'S DO IT.

YOU MEAN:

LET THE WHOLE WORLD KNOW

THAT THE HOTTEST CHICK

IN THE WORLD IS MY GIRL?

DON'T KEEP IT A SECRET?

Y'ALL SLEPT TOGETHER?

NO.

WE'RE DEFINITELY GONNA WAI UNTIL WE'RE MARRIED.

SHOULD I TELL THEM

ABOUT THE DENIM THONG?

[]

JAMIE LYNN, SHOULD WE

MAKE A MOAT?

WHAT'S A MOAT?

YOU KNOW, LIKE A RIVER

AROUND THE CASTLE

THAT KEEPS THE PRINCESS SAFE

FROM PEOPLE TRYING TO GET IN.

JL, EVERY BOMB CASTLE'S

GOT A FLY MOAT,

YOU FEEL ME?

REALLY?

TOTALLY.

[JAMIE LYNN]:

HOW DO PEOPLE COME VISIT HER?

[JUSTIN]:
DRAWBRIDGE,

CANOE,

TELEPORT...

I'LL BE BACK.

LET'S SEE.

YOU'VE GOT TO GE A BIG, DEEP HOLE.

HI, BABY.

MAMA, YOU'VE GOT TO DO

SOMETHING ABOUT HIM.

OH, LORD,

HE'S GOT ME CORNERED.

PLEASE, JUST GO GET HIM

BEFORE HE SAYS:

SOMETHING:

AND ENDS UP:

ON A TABLOID.

OKAY, OKAY.

[LYNNE]:
BABY, WHY DON'T YOU

COME BACK AND SIT DOWN WITH US?

LET'S GO INSIDE.

WHAT ABOUT THE MOAT?

JL, I THINK THA THE PRINCESS WAS LIKE,

"UH, THE MOAT DOESN'T GO

WITH THE FLOW OF THIS CASTLE."

WHY? WE WERE JUST TALKING.

PRINCESSES CHANGE THEIR MINDS

ALL THE TIME.

WHAT'S THIS STUFF

DOING ON THE GROUND?

OH, MAN.

I THINK WE GOT ROBBED.

-MAMA, Y'ALL GET IN HERE!

-WHAT HAPPENED?

ARE YOU OKAY?

WHAT THE HELL HAPPENED HERE?

IT WAS LIKE THIS

WHEN WE GOT HERE.

I'LL CALL THE POLICE.

COME ON, JAMIE LYNN.

COME ON.

BRIT...

THEY STOLE THE TAPES.

THAT TAPE?

WHAT TAPE?

A VIDEO TAPE?

JESUS H. CHRIST!

THEY STOLE A BOUDOIR VIDEO?

MY LITTLE GIRL:

WAS IN A BOUDOIR VIDEO?

DADDY!

WE ARE NOT DOING THIS

RIGHT NOW.

OH, BECAUSE YOU CALL THE SHOTS

AROUND HERE, HUH?

ALWAYS HAVE.

YOU'VE BEEN BUSY

RACING YOURSELF:

TO THE BOTTOM OF A BOTTLE.

PLEASE JUST STOP, Y'ALL!

THE POLICE ARE COMING.

IF IT'S A CRIME TO HAVE

A COUPLE OF DRINKS

AND SPEAK MY DAMN MIND,

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