Brooklyn Rules Page #5

you're obviously the devil.

Hm.

Do you always analyze people?

I do minor in psych.

Ah, okay, I get it.

I'm a psych experiment then.

No, you are not.

Yeah.

Great view.

Yeah, it's beautiful.

I was talking about you.

What?

Do lines like that ever actually work?

Uh-|

Apparently not on women who minor in psych.

Okay, you have one more shot.

I'll try and make it good.

I'm glad you invited me.

Yeah, me too.

What I didn't know was,

while I was getting to know Ellen,

Carmine was out in Queens,

getting to know his new friends.

Get down.

Come here. Come here.

Get up, f***.

What have you got back there?

- Anything good?

- I don't know.

Huh? What about-

What about those video games?

You got those ataris?

I'm telling you, I don't know.

I think it's cabbage patch dolls.

Cabbage patch dolls, yeah?

Good.

Get the f*** against that fence.

If you turn around,

I'll chop your f***in' head off.

Turn around again.

Turn around again, you stupid f***.

That lying cocksucker.

What the f*** are we gonna do with these?

We're gonna sell 'em.

No, Philly, these are great.

These are great, the quiz king.

You don't know this?

We can sell these for ten bucks a pop.

Yeah, but the cabbage patches,

those are like f***ing gold.

Is that the president

and Mrs. Reagan

Will spend the day touring the city...

They're right there.

Here, you go.

Yes, I'm in.

Go.

Hey, Mikey, what happened last night?

Did you f*** that girl or not?

Whoa, no good.

This one's off limits.

This one's-

Hold on a minute.

Hold on a minute; you ditch us,

and we don't have the right

to know if you got laid?

I didn't ditch you. You left.

So you f***ed her?

What'd I just say?

I'm not gonna

talk about her like that.

Oh, so he didn't f*** her.

Read the question, a**hole.

All right, this one's for a peg.

The last peg.

Kiss your money good-bye. Remember.

You gotta answer exactly.

All right. Come on.

"What's the name

of the largest railroad station in the world?"

Grand Central.

Uh-Uh.

What do you think?

No, more specific.

Grand central station.

- Wrong.

- What do you mean, wrong?

Grand central terminal.

Get outta here.

- That's what it says.

- I don't care what it says.

It's wrong. I'm sorry;

those are the rules.

Give me that money.

Stop.

It wasn't right.

You answered-

Ho-Ho-Ho. Shut up.

Shut up. Shut up. Listen.

Aniello Dellacroce died today of cancer.

Dellacroce, allegedly second in command

under Paul Castellano,

was an underworld figure

with ties dating back...

Holy sh*t, this is big.

Why?

What's the matter?

Dellacroce, he's, like,

Gotti's godfather or something.

So?

So Philly tells me

that Gotti hates Castellano,

And with this guy gone,

who knows what could happen?

Well, we'd better call Luca Brasi,

'cause we might have to go to the mattresses.

You're both very funny, amusing, all right?

But I would not be surprised

if this causes some serious problems.

Yeah, I got my own problems...

Like, that's my f***in' money!

No, it's not.

You answered wrong.

Would you stop?

Over the next few days,

it seemed like every wise guy in New York

turned out for Neill Dellacroce's wake-

Everyone but the boss, Paul Castellano,

a fact that did not go unnoticed by John Gotti.

As for us, Dellacroce's death

resulted in a windfall...

Here comes your sister, Carmine.

Because every wise guy in the Gambino family

had to attend Dellacroce's wake...

Ladies.

So?

...Philly found himself

with six Sinatra tickets he couldn't use.

So we dressed to the nines,

picked up our dates,

and got ready for a night to remember.

If you were a guy

from any kind of neighborhood,

you had a special place

in your heart for Frank.

Come on, come on, you three old whores,

let's take the picture.

All right?

Scrunch up.

And if you were from any kind of neighborh

Beautiful.

This song gave you the chills.

Unfortunately, the news was

that the tickets were counterfeit.

All dressed up and no place to go,

we ended up at the Hamilton house.

How was I supposed to know?

You're telling me that doesn't look real?

These say "Hank" Sinatra.

Okay, that's enough, please.

Are you ready to order yet?

Yeah, I'm gonna get the cheese melt.

You mean the grilled cheese.

No, actually, it's a little different.

You see, you toast the bread first;

Then you let the cheese melt on top of it.

A cheese sandwich on toast.

Yeah, more or less.

So why don't you just say that, doofus?

'Cause I call it a cheese melt.

What's the difference?

Amy, how do you put up with him, huh?

I think he's adorable.

So do I.

So, Angela, what do you do?

I'm in school, fingernail technology.

- Ah, that's nice.

- Oh, yeah.

And how long have you guys all known each other?

Kindergarten.

Yeah, but Bobby was in the-

special-retard class.

Hey, leave my baby alone, Carmine.

What are you doing?

What are you wasting time for?

Will you make her

an honest woman already?

Please?

Ha-Ha-Ha-Ha, don't rush me.

Who gets the cherry lime ricky?

Right here.

The cheese melt.

Thank you.

Nothin', I'm gonna go wash up.

Comb my hair for about 20 minutes.

Uh, excuse me.

That seat's taken.

I know, a**hole.

I just took it.

Nah, I mean someone's using it.

He's in the bathroom.

Oh, well, when he comes out,

tell him to go f*** himself.

Hey, what's your problem?

Bobby.

No, this isn't right.

Baby.

What'd you say?

I said, what's your problem?

Why'd you take our chair?

Our friend's using that one.

'Cause I f***in' felt

like taking' it, all right?

Hey, hey, hey, hey.

We don't want any trouble.

No trouble, I'm just

gonna slap the sh*t out of you

and your f*ggot friend here.

- Watch your mouth.

- What?

I said, don't talk to my friend that way.

Why? What are you gonna do?

Good question.

The guy was a stone-cold psycho.

What could I do?

Except that.

You motherf***er,

you're f***ing dead!

I'll break your f***in' neck.

Get off him, you motherf***er. Bobby!

Come on, fellas, break it up!

Oh, Jesus!

You motherf-

Woo-

Call the police!

Have a seat.

F***!

You don't know who you're f***ing with!

You're f***ing dead!

You hear me, you f***?

- What'd he say?

- Nothin'.

Would you look at this sh*t?

This cocksucker pulled my hair out.

I'm gonna look like Frankenstein

for the rest of my life,

and he's worried about his f***in' hair.

Where's, uh... thing?

Angela.

Right, Angela.

She left.

Yeah, there's a big emergency

Over at the, uh, beauty academy.

Someone tore a cuticle.

You ready? Let's go.

You know, actually, I'm a little hungry.

I could go for a cheese melt.

How about you?

Hey, f*** you, all right?

Michael.

Okay?

Sorry.

Can I borrow your keys?

I gotta get this thing stitched up.

Yeah, put gas in it, all right?

Of course.

Good night.

So, uh...

I'll call you tomorrow.

Okay.

Everything all right?

Yeah, I'm fine.

'Cause you hardly said a word

at the hospital, the drive home.

I'm just a little shaken up.

I've never seen anything like that.

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