Brother Nature Page #5

the hospital tugged-it story.

I love that story.

It's so romantic.

Yeah, it's a beautiful story.

Now the left side.

It just stinks that you're

gonna be gone for three months

the second I move to Seattle.

It'll be over

before you know it.

Hey, honey, where are you

going again? Bulgaria?

Bangladesh.

Oh! Bangladesh is gorgeous

in the summertime.

You must avoid eating

the Dolpudi fish though.

It causes insanity.

And circle the hips.

Wow. Gwen, you know,

if Roger gets elected,

you're gonna be

dating a public figure.

That's a lot of pressure.

You know, when Todd

was head camp counselor

I had to share the spotlight

with him, it was so hard on us.

We almost broke up.

And now squat position.

Use your Bo for balance.

I don't know. We haven't

even really talked about it.

What does a congressman's

girlfriend do?

All right. Are we all

loose and ready?

Yeah.

Begin!

Well, guess what, guys?

I had these two beers,

and now I've got to pee.

Need anything?

Anybody?

I'm good. I'll take a hot milk.

Thank you.

You know, I didn't get

a lot of this growing up.

Fishing?

No. Guy time.

With six sisters, you'd think I'd get at

least a boyfriend or a brother-in-law.

But, alas, all lesbians.

All six of your

sisters are lesbians?

Indeed. But I got my

little bros at camp. So...

They keep me going.

Check this out.

That's Oscar.

He's got like

a really sucky home life.

But he's an amazing artist.

I told him if he drew me a picture

every day for the whole summer

I would get him

off of cleaning duty.

By the end of the summer

he had a whole portfolio.

Now, he's going to art

school on a scholarship.

Wow.

Yeah.

He drew that for me.

Isn't that amazing? Oh!

That's great.

That's you?

Yeah. He got the neck

just right.

Looks just like it.

Yeah. That's incredible.

Are those grenades?

Yeah.

I have a grenade

collection at home.

So he's just working from

real life, he's amazing.

He made me a superhero.

Busting through a wall

like the Kool-aid man.

"Oh, yeah!"

More precious than gold.

Todd, that's... oh.

Oh!

Here we go. I think

I caught a fish!

Yeah, you did.

Okay. So what do I do?

Reel that b*tch in. Come on.

Just keep turning?

Yeah. Just reel it for three seconds

then pull real hard to set the hook.

Reel, reel, reel.

Pull.

Reel... oh, boy.

Oh, man!

That is a big one, huh?

Oh! No way.

That stripe...

Gill! That's Gill!

That's Gill?

You caught Gill!

I caught Gill!

Jerry!

Roger got Gill!

I got Gill! All right.

I'll get everybody.

Oh! There he is!

There he is!

Okay, I got it.

Yes, it's Gill!

You put on some pounds,

you big fat bastard.

Good job, honey.

I'm so proud of you.

Gilly boy, good to see you.

Good job, Roger!

Thanks, buddy.

Triumphant smile.

It's going on the wall!

All right, now we've

got to put him back.

Okay, so I just...

Pull the hook out?

Yeah. Take the hook out

and send him home.

Okay. He's not going to bite me, right?

You got it, man.

No. Come on, Rog, just grab it.

Yeah, come on, just

pull back real hard.

You just got to

finesse it a little bit.

Let's go. Take it out.

Take it out.

It's stuck in there really good.

Okay, man, you just got to give it a

quick up-shimmy and then pull back.

What is an

up-shimmy?

Up-shimmy,

it's an up-shimmy...

Down, and then

up-shimmy!

Up-shimmy, Roger.

Up-shimmy.

It's stuck on a bone.

Roger, please...

You please! You please!

You're killing him!

Take it out!

Just give it an up-shimmy and

then pull it as hard as you can!

I am up-shimmying!

Oh! Oh! Oh!

Stop it! We can

stop the bleeding!

We can save...

He's okay. He's okay!

He's gonna be fine.

Gill...

Please, will you just kick

that into the water. Please.

It's on my foot.

I can't...

I'm going to expel.

Out of my way!

Here, here, here!

Get it off!

Get it off!

Gill.

Good night, sweet prince.

Was that my fault?

No, Roger.

It was Gill's fault.

Todd said to just pull

as hard as I could...

Well, after

an up-shimmy.

Boys, boys, boys.

It was nobody's fault.

It was just a very, very, very,

tragic accident.

And, uh, we don't blame

you, Roger, at all.

Maybe... maybe that

wasn't Gill.

Maybe Gill had a twin.

No. Gill's

an only child.

Roger, telephone call.

It's frank.

Frank.

I got to take this call.

Right now?

I'm so sorry.

I'll come back to clean.

Take your call, Roger.

Take your phone call.

Say goodbye.

Hello?

Roger, it's frank.

Is there any possible way I could

call you back in 30 minutes?

Nope. The party is pressing

me to make a statement.

The media thinks

a scandal is involved.

"McClaren dick pic"

is trending on Twitter.

Sir, please tell me

there's no such picture.

Oh! Of course not!

But the party's not going

to wait until next week

and they are understandably

forcing my hand.

Which means I have

to force yours.

So, are you in?

Yes. Yes, of course.

I'm in.

Fantastic!

Hey look, channel 3 is

interviewing me on the 4th

and I'd like you here with me

to announce that you're

running for my seat.

Well, I'm actually

still up at trout lake.

And I'm planning

on proposing tomorrow...

You know what, this could

work in our favor.

Newly engaged family man.

Beautiful outdoor setting

in Washington state.

I mean, it's a nice

introduction.

Are you saying we

should do it up here?

Of course. We'll send

a camera crew to you.

We'll satellite you in.

Um...

I think I could make that work.

Your life is going to change.

Thank you, sir.

I'll talk to you soon.

Where are Pam and the boys?

Oh! They just decided to have

a little quiet night in.

You know, little Spencer

was still pretty upset

about the whole Gill thing.

Yeah.

That was rough.

Gill would not want us to

be a bunch of mopey dopes.

I think he would

want us to celebrate.

To future congressman Roger!

All right. A celebration.

Absolutely.

I can't thank you enough

for being so supportive.

And particularly for

allowing a camera crew

to come crash your vacation.

Listen, we weren't going

to let you leave.

And now we get to be a

part of this big moment.

We're excited.

And I know this goes

without saying, but,

please don't say anything to anyone

before the announcement because...

Ladies and gentlemen. Tonight

is a very special night.

I won't say who because

it's not official yet,

but someone here, Roger Fellner,

is running for congress.

So I'd like you all to put

your hands together like this,

and help me get him on up here.

Roger!

Roger! Roger! Roger!

We'd like to dedicate this song

to two very special ladies.

It's deuce princes

by spin doctors.

- Come on, Roger!

- Sing it, Rog!

Look at him go!

He's on fire!

Yeah, baby!

Move the strawberry

into the cart.

No. That's...

No. No.

Hey! Hey, hey, um...

Hey.

Are we still on for our date tonight?

Mmm-hmm.

I was thinking pizza

on main street.

Awesome. How about 5:30,

but, like, be ready at 5:00?

What is that?

Let's get ready to go tubing!

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