Browsers Page #5

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JOSH:

(Staring at her nipples)

Here here.

GABE:

Justin, I was in the elevator, I

recognized her, out of a sense ofconscience I very politely said Idisagreed with some of her viewsand also had a coffee for her,

which I then handed over but the

lid was loose and it spilled byaccident.

JUSTIN:

Listen, I don’t want to get in themiddle of a “he said, she said”

thing.

AMY:

(Under her breath)

More like “she said she said”.

GABE:

You are so hateful!

BROWSERS - 10/25/12

JULIANNA (O.C.)

Oh, see, see, right there... that’snot so good.

JULIANNA HAS APPARENTLY HEARD THE COMMOTION AND COME IN TIME

TO HEAR GABE’S FINAL OUTBURST.

GABE:

M-M-Ms. Mancuso-Bruni...

AMY:

(Very calmly)

He spilled coffee on me in theelevator, Julianna. Because he said

he didn’t like my politics.

GABE:

That’s not true!

JULIANNA THINKS.

JULIANNA:

You’re Gabe, right?

GABE:

(Hopeful)

That’s right, yes.

JULIANNA:

From Oberlin?

GABE:

Yes!

JULIANNA:

Student council Vice-President?

GABE:

You do know who I am!

JULIANNA:

Yes. You are a very promising youngman. Eh, what a shame.

(Loudly, to office)

Winnowing week is over early thistime, everyone. We have a loser.

GABE IS SHELLSHOCKED.

JUSTIN:

(Even he is surprised)

Wait, now?

BROWSERS - 10/25/12

JULIANNA:

Yes. Congratulations, you three.

(To AMY)

So. Do you want to reschedule, orcan you talk wet?

AMY:

Can we reschedule? I’m a little

flustered by all the incivilityright now.

JULIANNA:

Of course. Justin will work it out.

Let me walk you out, darling.

(They walk away.)

Use my dry cleaner. Trust me, he

can get anything out.

JUSTIN APPROACHES GABE LOOKING GENUINELY SURPRISED.

JUSTIN:

Gabe, sorry. Usually it’s not ‘tilFriday. In fact... sorry, hold on asec. I’ll be right back.

HE KNOCKS ON JULIANNA’S DOOR AND WALKS IN.

PRUDENCE:

That sucks donkeys.

GABE:

It was an accident! She was lying!

KATE:

But you did pick a fight.

GABE:

No! I just said I disagreed withher views.

KATE:

But who are you to say that?

GABE:

It’s why I’m here. To, to speak.

KATE:

You’re an intern! You speak whenspoken to! Your day will come! Orit would have.

BROWSERS - 10/25/12

GABE:

(Sad)

This is everything I ever wanted

and I blew it over a coffee.

JOSH:

(Quoting Blade Runner)

All those moments lost in time.

Like tears... in rain.

(Beat)

Blade Runner? No?

KATE PITIES GABE. SHE LOOKS UP AT JULIANNA’S CLOSED DOOR.

IT’S 50 FEET AWAY BUT SEEMS LIKE A MILE. SHE SIGHS IN

RESIGNATION AND STANDS UP. SHE BEGINS SINGING, AND MOVING

SMOOTHLY TOWARD THE DOOR. WE SOON SEE WHY: ANOTHER KATE IS

PUSHING HER TOWARDS IT, ONE WHO LOOKS THE SAME AS KATE BUT

FUNCTIONS AS HER CONSCIENCE. THEIR SONG IS A “DUET.”

KATE:

It's not like he doesn't deserve it.

KATE 2

He does.

KATE:

It's not like he wasn't a jackass.

KATE 2

He was.

KATE:

It's not like it's somehow my problem.

KATE 2

It's his,

But it's not like he isn't a person.

KATE:

(Reluctantly)

He is.

It's not like I'm safe in this job.

KATE 2

No, you’re not.

KATE:

It's not like there's nothing to lose.

KATE 2

There’s a lot.

KATE:

It's not like it's smart.

BROWSERS - 10/25/12

KATE 2

It's astoundingly dumb.

KATE + KATE 2

But look out astoundingly dumb, here we

come.

THE TWO KATES DO A LITTLE DANCE WITH EACH OTHER.

KATE:

It's not like I'm noble...

KATE 2

...or loyal...

KATE:

...or moral...

KATE 2

Or graced with incredible class.

KATE:

It's just that I'm cursed with aconscience...

KATE 2

And it’s an incredible pain in the ass.

“THEY” HAVE ARRIVED AT THE DOOR.

KATE 2 (CONT’D)

It's not like you have any right.

KATE:

No, I don’t.

KATE 2

It's not like it's going to work.

KATE:

No, it won't.

It’s not like I know what I'm doing it

for...

KATE 2 GRABS KATE’S ARM AND MAKES HER KNOCK.

KATE 2

And yet here you are, forming a fist,

Raising your arm, moving your wrist,

And risking your future by needlesslyknocking on this door.

JULIANNA (O.S.)

Yes?

BROWSERS - 10/25/12

KATE LOOKS BEHIND HER. KATE 2 is gone.

KATE:

(Under her breath)

Coward.

SHE PUSHES THE DOOR OPEN WITH A SCARY CREAK. JULIANNA SITS

BEHIND HER DESK AT THE END OF THE ROOM. A LARGE PICTURE OF

GENE WILDER AS WILLY WONKA LOOMS OVER HER DESK. JUSTIN IS

NEARBY. THEY LOOK PUZZLED AND STARTLED RESPECTIVELY AT KATE

AS SHE WALKS IN.

JULIANNA:

Yes?

KATE:

(Takes a deep breath)

Look...

JULIANNA:

If it starts with ‘look,’ that

means shut the door.

KATE SHUTS THE DOOR.

KATE:

Look, I don’t really know you, orhow things are done here, or...

anything, really. But... I thinkyou ought to give Gabe a secondchance. He worships you.

(Long awkward beat)

I... also worship you?

JULIANNA STARES AT HER.

JULIANNA:

Justin, give me a minute.

HE WALKS BY KATE AND MOUTHS THE WORD ‘WOW,’ TO HER. HE SHUTS

THE DOOR BEHIND HIM. JULIANNA SIZES UP KATE UP AND DOWN.

JULIANNA (CONT’D)

Sit down.

(KATE sits. JULIANNA

continues to stare.)

You remind me of myself at your

age.

KATE:

Thank you.

JULIANNA:

I didn't say that was good.

BROWSERS - 10/25/12

AWKWARD BEAT.

JULIANNA:

Kate.

KATE:

Yes.

JULIANNA:

What do you want out of life, Kate?

KATE:

(Scared)

Right now, I just want out of life,

period.

JULIANNA:

When I was 22 I had no idea who I

was or what I wanted. I was adrift

on the tides of life. One day I was

laying out tanning on a beach in

the Cypriot village of Geriskipou

when I saw a man - a very big,

scary man - hitting his wife.

Hitting her very hard. She was

weeping. There was no one else

there, no one to stop him. And at a

certain pointed turned and looked

at me and... grimaced. "What are

you going to do about it, little

lady?" Now, I am not equating

domestic abuse with winnowing new

employees, a successful team-

building technique that dates all

the way back to The Art of War.

Have you read that?

(KATE shakes her head)

I'll send you the app. Nor am I

saying that coming into my office

and speaking up for a friend is the

same as having your uncle throttle

a man and then drown him in a

fishing net.

KATE:

That's what you did?

JULIANNA:

I'm not saying that either. My

point is your action, while

betraying both naïveté and

stupidity, is not dissimilar to the

kind of thing I would have done.

BROWSERS - 10/25/12

JULIANNA (CONT'D)

(She starts walking to her

door)

Yes, you definitely remind me ofmyself at your age.

KATE:

But that's not good?

JULIANNA:

No. Because it makes me realize I'm

old enough to have young womanremind me of myself at their age.

(Calling out the door)

Justin?

JUSTIN:

Yes?

JULIANNA:

Go get Gabe and tell him he's,

let's say, learned his lesson orsomething.

JUSTIN:

So, so he's staying?

JULIANNA:

It would seem so.

(Looks at KATE)

You may leave, Kate.

(KATE nervously stands up

and walks out)

But know this:
You are now on mygaydar.

SHE SHUTS THE DOOR.

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