Bruce Almighty Page #13

56.

They aren't. They are clearly bigger. She holds them.

GRACE:

They're definitely bigger. They

feel huge to me.

Bruce throws up his hands.

BRUCE:

You got me. Probably just a

hormonal thing.

(takes a quick final bite)

Well, enjoy your breakfast, I've

gotta run.

GRACE:

Where are you going?

He stops, turns. A new confident Bruce.

BRUCE:

To get my job back.

MUSIC UP:

EXT. BRUCE'S APARTMENT - DAY

Bruce heads for his severely beat-up junker car whistling

"What if God were One of Us."

INT. BRUCE'S CAR

CLOSE ON - BRUCE

He gets in, fastens his seat belt, as two teenagers cruise by

on skateboards, stop outside Bruce's window.

TEENAGER:

(sincerely impressed)

Wow, nice car man.

BRUCE:

Well, it gets me from A to B.

MASTER - STREET

Reveal Bruce's car is now a brand new MERCEDES 2003 VISION

SLR. He starts and revs THE POWERFUL NEW ENGINE and peels

out.

57.

EXT. CITY STREETS - DAY

Bruce turns the corner into bumper to bumper traffic. No

problem, the traffic magically opens up for him, cars

instantly swerving right and left clearing a path for Bruce.

He waves as he passes.

BRUCE:

And the last shall be first.

EXT. POLICE TRAINING CENTER - DAY

A POLICE DOG, HANK, performs some standard TAKE DOWNS by

"attacking" a "criminal" (trainer) on the run. PHIL, a

reporter from a rival station is wrapping up his story.

PHIL:

I certainly wouldn't want to be a

fugitive on the run with Hank,

Buffalo's number one police dog, on

the job. This is Phil Sidleman

reporting from The Police Canine

Training center.

(beat)

And cut it. Let's go, guys.

The crew start to wrap up.

ANGLE - BRUCE

Watching the action from the side, holding his own home video

camera. Phil spots him.

PHIL:

Hey, channel seven, right? You're

the guy that went crazy.

BRUCE:

Yeah, I had a bad day. But things

are lookin' up.

PHIL:

What are you doin' here?

BRUCE:

Just lookin' for a story.

PHIL:

(waving the video tape)

Well, this pond's fished out.

Pretty standard stuff anyway.

58.

BRUCE:

I don't know. My instinct tells me

there's something more.

PHIL:

Well, go with that. It's served

you well in the past, right?

Phil and a couple of his crew laugh, as they load the last of

their equipment into the van and shut the doors.

TRAINER (O.S.)

Hey, Hank found something1

Phil turns back, Bruce and he exchange a glance.

Hank is DIGGING FURIOUSLY, making a BIG HOLE. The Policeman

jogs over, joins the trainer. They watch as TWO DRESS SHOES

ARE UNCOVERE D IN THE DI RT. Hank BARKS.

POLICEMAN:

We got a bodyI

PHIL:

(to his crew)

Sh*t. Get the camera, now!

EXTREME CLOSE ON - THE VAN'S DOOR LOCK

It LOCKS AUTOMATICALLY. The CAMERAMAN yanks at the door.

CAMERAMAN:

It's locked and the keys are

inside I

Bruce casually turns his camera on, gives Phil a "tough

break" look, heads for the scene, as Phil and his crew

scramble around the van.

CUT TO:

ON A TV ·

DAN RATHER:

The body of Jimmy Hoffa was

uncovered in a field today outside

of a canine training center in

Buffalo New York. Local Buffalo

freelance field reporter Bruce

Nolan was the first on the scene...

59.

We cut to the pre-taped story. Bruce stands with Hank and

his trainer before camera, the body being exhumed from the

ground behind him.

BRUCE:

Since the disapearence of Teamster

president Jimmy Hoffa in the

nineteen sixties, his whereabouts

have remained one of this country's

great unsolved mysteries. That is

until just moments ago, when during

a routine training session, a

police dog named Hank sniffed his

way right into the history books.

As you can see behind us, the body

is being carefully exhumed and will

be transported to a hospital

facility where DNA testing will

confirm the identity. That, of

course, only a formality as in a

bizarre twist, the body was found

buried with a birth certificate and

complete set of dental records.

(rubs Hank's neck)

Sort of a two-in-one for Hank

today, as moments later, he busted

a local news camera crew with four

kilo's of marijuana.

We see footage of PHIL AND HIS NEWS CREW, being cuffed on the

ground, as large stacks of marijuana plants are being pulled

from the van.

PHIL:

I've never seen it before, I swear I

EXT. NEWS STATION - DAY

As Bruce pulls up in front of the building the NO PARKING

SIGN flies back into the bushes and the RED CURB TRANSFORMS

TO GREEN as though being sloppily painted with invisible

brushes.

Bruce exits the car and smooths past the Homeless Sign Guy,

who sits in his usual spot. His sign reads:

"HEAVEN IS AT HAND. LEGGO YOUR EGGO."

INT. NEWSROOM - DAY

Bruce cruises through the office, fielding greetings.

60.

VARIOUS OFFICE STAFF

Nice Job, Bruce...Way to go,

buddy...GO get 'em, Bruce, etc.

Susan Ortega smooths up to Bruce.

SUSAN ORTEGA:

Hi, Bruce.

BRUCE:

(surprised)

Oh, Susan.. Hi.

SUSAN ORTEGA:

Good work, I'm impressed.

She give's Bruce a "look" and continues on. Bruce is a bit

inflated by the encounter.

Bobby the pastry cart guy wheels his cart up along side.

BOBBY:

Hey, Br uce . N ice job , m an. Wa sn' t

the same without you around here,

pal.

(leading)

I hear Jack wants to see you.

BRUCE:

That's the word.

BOBBY:

You're going to need your energy in

there. Can I interest you in a

donut?

BRUCE:

No, thank you, I'm not hungry.

BOBBY:

Coffee?

BRUCE:

No.

BOBBY:

Fiber grain bar with bee pollen and

Spiralina?

BRUCE:

I'm really not interested.

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