Bruce Almighty Page #13

58.

BRUCE:

I don't know. My instinct tells me

there's something more.

PHIL:

Well, go with that. It's served

you well in the past, right?

Phil and a couple of his crew laugh, as they load the last of

their equipment into the van and shut the doors.

TRAINER (O.S.)

Hey, Hank found something1

Phil turns back, Bruce and he exchange a glance.

Hank is DIGGING FURIOUSLY, making a BIG HOLE. The Policeman

jogs over, joins the trainer. They watch as TWO DRESS SHOES

ARE UNCOVERE D IN THE DI RT. Hank BARKS.

POLICEMAN:

We got a bodyI

PHIL:

(to his crew)

Sh*t. Get the camera, now!

EXTREME CLOSE ON - THE VAN'S DOOR LOCK

It LOCKS AUTOMATICALLY. The CAMERAMAN yanks at the door.

CAMERAMAN:

It's locked and the keys are

inside I

Bruce casually turns his camera on, gives Phil a "tough

break" look, heads for the scene, as Phil and his crew

scramble around the van.

CUT TO:

ON A TV ·

DAN RATHER:

The body of Jimmy Hoffa was

uncovered in a field today outside

of a canine training center in

Buffalo New York. Local Buffalo

freelance field reporter Bruce

Nolan was the first on the scene...

59.

We cut to the pre-taped story. Bruce stands with Hank and

his trainer before camera, the body being exhumed from the

ground behind him.

BRUCE:

Since the disapearence of Teamster

president Jimmy Hoffa in the

nineteen sixties, his whereabouts

have remained one of this country's

great unsolved mysteries. That is

until just moments ago, when during

a routine training session, a

police dog named Hank sniffed his

way right into the history books.

As you can see behind us, the body

is being carefully exhumed and will

be transported to a hospital

facility where DNA testing will

confirm the identity. That, of

course, only a formality as in a

bizarre twist, the body was found

buried with a birth certificate and

complete set of dental records.

(rubs Hank's neck)

Sort of a two-in-one for Hank

today, as moments later, he busted

a local news camera crew with four

kilo's of marijuana.

We see footage of PHIL AND HIS NEWS CREW, being cuffed on the

ground, as large stacks of marijuana plants are being pulled

from the van.

PHIL:

I've never seen it before, I swear I

EXT. NEWS STATION - DAY

As Bruce pulls up in front of the building the NO PARKING

SIGN flies back into the bushes and the RED CURB TRANSFORMS

TO GREEN as though being sloppily painted with invisible

brushes.

Bruce exits the car and smooths past the Homeless Sign Guy,

who sits in his usual spot. His sign reads:

"HEAVEN IS AT HAND. LEGGO YOUR EGGO."

INT. NEWSROOM - DAY

Bruce cruises through the office, fielding greetings.

60.

VARIOUS OFFICE STAFF

Nice Job, Bruce...Way to go,

buddy...GO get 'em, Bruce, etc.

Susan Ortega smooths up to Bruce.

SUSAN ORTEGA:

Hi, Bruce.

BRUCE:

(surprised)

Oh, Susan.. Hi.

SUSAN ORTEGA:

Good work, I'm impressed.

She give's Bruce a "look" and continues on. Bruce is a bit

inflated by the encounter.

Bobby the pastry cart guy wheels his cart up along side.

BOBBY:

Hey, Br uce . N ice job , m an. Wa sn' t

the same without you around here,

pal.

(leading)

I hear Jack wants to see you.

BRUCE:

That's the word.

BOBBY:

You're going to need your energy in

there. Can I interest you in a

donut?

BRUCE:

No, thank you, I'm not hungry.

BOBBY:

Coffee?

BRUCE:

No.

BOBBY:

Fiber grain bar with bee pollen and

Spiralina?

BRUCE:

I'm really not interested.

61.

BOBBY:

Yeah, I don't blame 'ya, they taste

like grass.

Bobby CUTS BRUCE OFF WITH HIS CART. Bruce is forced to stop.

BOBBY:

Tell you what? I wasn't going to

break it open until lunch time, but

I made a batch of rhubarb that you

have got to try.

BRUCE:

Bobby, I--

BOBBY:

Come on, it's my mother's recipe

she's practically cripple...

Bobby forces a ladle of rhubarb out at Bruce.

BRUCE:

No, I really- no...

BOBBY:

Open up, that's it, here comes the

news chopper...

(makes sound of Chopper)

BRUCE:

No, Bobby.. Bobby N01 I said I

didn't want anything.

(turns, heading off)

Damn you...

Bruce continues off, as Bobby stops cold, adopts an odd

expression, then his EYES ROLL UP IN THEIR SOCKETS, SPIN ALL

THE WAR AROUND, THEN GLOW RED. LITTLE HORN BUMPS PUSH UP

FROM HIS SKULL. He turns instantly demonic.

An overly PERKY FEMALE OFFICE WORKER approaches Bobby from

behind.

FEMALE OFFICE WORKER

Hi, Bobby. Is there any of that

split pea soup left?

She is instantly hit in the chest with a stream of green

vomit. A beat and Bobby offers out a plastic spoon.

INT. JACK'S OFFICE - DAY

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