Bruce Almighty Page #16

69.

ON GRACE - IN THE STANDS . *

Debbie turns to her, she shrugs. *

GRACE *

I didn't even know he could sing. *

INT. BRUCE AND GRACE'S APARTMENT - BATHROOM - DAY

Grace opens the bathroom door, revealing SAM, SITTING ON THE

TOILET SEAT WITH A NEWSPAPER UNDER HIS FRONT PAWS. Sam BARKS

and Grace quickly closes the door.

INT. HOCKEY ARENA - NIGHT *

Bruce sings, still on the same word. *

BRUCE *

...eeeEEEEeeeeeEEEEEEEEEEeeeee. . . *

INT. BRUCE AND GRACE'S APARTMENT - BATHROOM - DAY

Bruce finishes running a bath, gets into the tub but SLIPS as

is UNABLE TO SINK and ends up sliding around ON THE WATER

like on a sheet of glass. He tries to break through, can't.

Then, he concentrates and finally LOWERS INTO THE WATER.

INT. HOCKEY ARENA - NIGHT *

Bruce dramatically finishes the national anthem. *

BRUCE *

...of the *

BraaaaaaaaaaAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAVE i . *

He hits an impossibly high note and the rink glass SHATTERS I *

Bruce is projected on the ARENA JUMBOTRON. He shoots his *

arms up, the crowd goes nuts! "Mr. Exclusive" flashes on the *

screen. *

EXT. WOODS - DAY

A Mob of photographers flash photos like crazy, as Bruce

stands casually with his arm around BIGFOOT.

BRUCE:

...and that's the way the cookie

crumbles.

EXT. FAIRGROUNDS - DAY

Bruce surrounded by Hazel and other chili cook off

contestants shouts up from the bottom of the crater hole:

70.

BRUCE & CHILI CONTESTANTS

(in unison)

And that's the way the cookie

crumbles!

INT. HOCKEY ARENA - DAY *

The words FLASH on the jumbotron and the entire crowd chants: *

CROWD *

And that's the way the cookie *

crumbles! *

MUSIC OUT/MONTAGE OUT

INT. BEAUTY SALON - DAY

Grace lies in full body wrap, while Debbie is in the process

of being wrapped by MARGARITA, a rather ruff Spanish Salon

attendant.

DEBBIE:

So this is what success buys you.

GRACE:

I guess.

(wiggling around)

I feel like a human taquito.

DEBBIE:

Well, thank Mr. Exclusive for me.

He's on a quite a roll. What'd he

do make a deal with the devil?

GRACE:

And he's taking me out tonight to

dinner at Chez L'Amour.

DEBBIE:

Well, la-ti-da. Mike's idea of a

romantic evening is Chez Sizzler.

Margarita pulls the wrap tightly around Debbie.

DEBBIE:

(to Margarita)

What does this do again?

MARGARITA:

EstS para su grasa.

DEBBIE:

Grasa? Doesn't that mean fat?

71.

GRACE:

Afraid so.

Debbie eyes Margarita.

GRACE:

(gushing)

So, Bruce said and I quote:

"Prepare yourself for an amazing

evening that will change our lives

forever."

Margarita reaches Debbie's waist and YANKS tightly.

DEBBIE:

Good - you wouldn't want to leave

any spare oxygen in there.

(back to Grace)

Wait a second, you don't think he's

going to propose, do you?

GRACE:

I don't think anything.

DEBBIE:

You do. You think he's going to

propose.

GRACE:

Well, he's always said when he gets

his career together, you know...

And his career is more than

together. I mean, come on, Chez

L'Amour. Change our lives...

DEBBIE:

I don't know, hun. I mean, I like

Bruce but that man's priority list

is him, him, him, then him some

more and then you.

GRACE:

Well, he just might surprise you.

DEBBIE:

That's what I'm worried about.

(re:
Margarita)

Careful, you missed a spot of free

flowing circulation.

Margarita senses the attitude and pulls tighter. Debbie

reacts.

72.

DEBBIE:

That'd do it.

Margarita motions for Debbie to lay down and leaves. Debbie

struggles to lay down.

DEBBIE:

Let's see, how do I--

Debbie slides to the ground, Grace cracks up, gets up to

help, but also in mummy wrap, topples on top of her. They

both laugh and struggling to get up.

Hearing the ruckus, Margarita enters and gasps.

MARGARITA:

Lesbianas1

Grace and Debbie crack up harder.

DEBBIE:

Hey, I'll take that over fat...

Margarita tries to pull them up, but falls too.

MARGARITA:

No sexo, no sexol

Grace and Debbie can't stop laughing.

INT. CHEZ L'AMOUR - NIGHT

A waiter pours the first trickle of wine into Bruce's glass.

Bruce whiffs it, tastes it.

BRUCE:

Very good. If you run out just

bring me some water, I'll take it

from there.

Grace looks over the menu as Bruce notices people at various

tables eyeing him. He glances up to a ceiling light and

REDIRECTS IT with his mind, so it SPOTLIGHTS HIM in golden

light.

TWO CUTE GIRLS with dates SMILE and wave. He waves back.

GRACE:

Should we ask for a more private

table?

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