Bruno & Boots: The Wizzle War Page #2

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but they've got real heart.

A word of advice...

Oh, um.

No, thank you?

Escape, Escape!

My whole life could use an

escape button right about now.

Sturgeon.

This is a disaster!

Oh, good morning, Eugenia.

Always a delight.

How can they do this to us?

It's not right.

Congratulations.

Am I to assume

that Miss Snow has

also chosen Scrimmage Academy

for one of her

educational experiments?

You mean the hostile takeover

of my school

and the very

souls of my girls?

A learning institution

is a sacred...

Oh, come now, Eugenia,

you know as well as I do

that fads in education

come and go.

They can be

a little frustrating...

Frustrating?

I don't know what kind of

cushy program leader

you got today,

but mine is

a real drill sergeant.

Oh, come on, Eugenia.

This is no time to exaggerate

any of this...

Oh, I have to go.

By Mackenzie's beard,

that is a real drill sergeant.

Fall in!

Right now, on the double.

Let's go!

Did you not hear me?

I told you

to take the hopes and dreams

out of your ears

and fall in.

Not tomorrow, not next week,

not midnight

of the next solstice.

Fall in now!

Uh, excuse me, but what are we

supposed to fall in to?

Maybe it's a trust exercise.

I'll go first.

Fall in means to take your

positions in an orderly fashion,

standing at attention

and awaiting further orders.

Um, Miss Scrimmage

doesn't give us orders.

She only gives

thoughtful suggestions.

Do I look like

Miss Scrimmage to you?

Uh, no,

but I do,

because I'm her.

Hello, girls.

I see that you've met

our new assistant

headmistress, Miss Peabody.

Let's all give her

a very warm

Scrimmage Academy

welcome.

Superintendent Snow

sent us Miss Peabody

to share her unique approach

to educating young women.

Army, Navy, Air Force...

by the time

I'm through with you,

you can join one of these

outfits for your vacation.

What I think Miss Peabody means

is that you have

several career options

to choose from,

so choose wisely.

Now straighten those lines

before I give you

so many push-ups

that your arms fall off

and you bleed out

from your shoulders!

What I think Miss Peabody

is saying,

is that she completely

respects you,

and she is using

vivid imagery

to motivate you.

I look at all of you,

and you know what I see?

I see Chihuahuas!

Pomeranians!

Lapdogs.

That's all about to change.

I'm kicking you out of the lap

and into the real world.

Oh, I think what

Miss Peabody is saying

is that

if you work very hard,

it will pay off?

And when I'm done with you,

you're not gonna be

lapdogs anymore.

You're gonna be German

Shepherds! St. Bernard's!

Rottweiler's!

Work dogs.

Can I be a Labradoodle?

No!

And as work dogs,

you'll finally be of use

to society and yourself.

Am I understood?

Yes, ma'am!

Good.

All right, lapdogs,

obedience school begins

with a five-mile run!

Move out!

Hut two, hut two...

I don't know about this.

I know this much:

it won't be boring.

Keep in mind, girls,

you can choose to be cats.

Isn't there some kind of

a warm-up necessary for this?

Maroon jumpsuits.

Who's actually

gonna wear these?

Check it out, guys.

Woo!

Durable, breathable,

and spaghetti sauce

hardly shows.

I stand corrected.

Either way,

I don't think we have a choice.

What? Okay, no, no,

there's no way

we have to wear these.

Remember, students, your

new uniforms are mandatory.

Okay, this can only

last a couple days.

For the rest

of the school year.

This can't be happening.

And yes, students,

this is happening.

Welcome to Macdonald Hall

Prison for Boys.

Yeah, visiting hours

never till never.

Hey...

Hm... some kind of bracelet.

Whoa!

I can't get it off now.

Yeah, I don't think anybody

else can, either.

Your new uniforms

are designed

to reduce distractions

and aid learning.

Finally, no buttons, ties,

or decisions.

Just a sack of cloth

for the body.

You're welcome.

Wizzleware believes

that distractions

are the enemy

of learning.

They're all around us,

deciding what to wear,

what to do,

and even what to eat.

That's why I invented

WizzleFuel,

the liquid breakfast

and lunch replacement

that turns dining

into refueling.

Now available

in delicious gray.

What used to take an hour

is now over within minutes.

But, again, you're welcome.

Finally, modern hardware.

It's like

the Christmas morning

nobody asked for

and only I wanted.

Ugh!

Man, this thing's on here

like Wilbur

on a Western sandwich.

Gotta have

a backup plan.

Mmm!

Your Wizzleband is designed

to be worn 24/7.

It's waterproof

and tamperproof.

Removing the Wizzleband

at any time

is neither permitted

nor possible.

Wait, can he see us?

I can see every classroom

in the school.

Students receive instant

feedback on their behavior,

both positive and negative.

assess behavior.

Bruno Walton

and Boots O'Neil:

attempted removal

of Wizzleband.

Five demerits.

Wha...

Okay, that's creepy.

Wilbur Hackenschleimer:

food distraction.

Two demerits.

Worth it!

Elmer Drimsdale:

toy distraction.

Three demerits.

Chemistry is not a toy!

Vandalism.

Ten demerits.

This is so ridiculous...

I, uh, I mean, uh...

Respectfully,

how is it any different

than George

patrolling the halls,

giving out demerits?

George's demerits don't

actually count for anything.

Sturgeon was just humoring him.

I've been such a fool!

Five demerits, George.

Five.

How far

did she make us run?

Twice around the world?

Three times?

I lost track

somewhere in Europe.

This is

Eugenia Scrimmage calling

for the fifth time today.

I know Superintendent Snow

is very busy,

but this Peabody person

is simply

not a good fit

for my girls.

Sugar!

Sounds like Scrimmage

is getting angry.

But Miss Scrimmage

never gets angry.

She just said "sugar".

When Scrimmage

lists the names of the foods

that she considers unhealthy,

that's her way

of swearing.

Don't put me on hold.

Oh, bacon bits!

Candy corn.

Pork rinds!

Traditional classroom lectures

are now a thing of the past.

Instead of learning facts

and skills,

Wizzleware lessons stimulate

certain parts of the brain.

Let's begin.

This exercise is called

"Get the ball."

The object

is to get the ball.

See how many times

you can get the ball.

So what's the point?

Questions don't get the ball.

Getting the ball

gets the ball.

This is weird, but this is

the best I've ever done in math.

Yeah, this is English.

Even better!

But soft,

what light through

yonder doorway breaks?

Lo, 'tis Headmaster Sturgeon,

here to do

his annual recitation.

- Distraction detected.

- Distraction detected.

Distraction detected.

What on earth

is going on in here?

English class, sir.

English...?

So where's Mr. Vickers?

With the other teachers,

playing poker

in the teachers' lounge.

You have got

to be kidding me.

Mr. Sturgeon, is there

a reason for this disruption?

Actually, yes, there is.

There's a tradition here

at Macdonald Hall

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