Bu Er Shen Tan Page #2

---

...and another in criminal psychology.

When I was a detective...

I solved two major cases, and

won three awards for excellence.

But with all that, I still haven't

been promoted. - Do you know why?

Because you're stupid.

I'm stupid?

You are the source of my stupidity!

- Me?

If it weren't for you, I'd

be commissioner already!

You think you'd get noticed without me?

Do you remember the

Causeway Bay vice roundup...

...and the thief I caught in

Sham Shui Po two years ago?

How could I forget?

We didn't catch a single

thief, or a single prostitute.

But on the same raid, I

found a counterfeiting ring...

...and caught a serial killer in a brothel.

Don't you get it?

Where would you be if it weren't for me?

Now get on your knees, and thank me!

- Me, kneel and thank you?

If the day actually comes

when you help me solve cases...

I'll build a shrine.

...and burn incense with you.

But not to me?

If not to me, then to who?

Your tombstone!

Again with the fighting?

Just get married.

We fight, so we should get married?

By that logic, I should marry you!

If you married me...

I'd never come home, and

you'd die pining for me!

Do you actually think I'd marry you?

I'd be scared you couldn't

handle the loneliness.

Touch me if you want get hurt!

- Dare you hurt me!

- Stop stop, let go!

- Hey, stop!

- Yeah, I will marry you!

Let's go, go get married!

Go! Get moving!

Who caught the suspect last night?

You're a hero, sir!

These are top-secret files.

The head of a film piracy site.

...that Interpol's been

chasing for five years!

Bi Touren.

BitTorrent?

In those years...

...he uploaded illegal copies of movies...

...including "Love is Not Blind"...

Have you seen it?

He didn't know what he was doing.

Go easy on him.

Lately, it's been kung fu movies.

Like "Fearless,"

"The Flying Swords of Dragon Gate"...

Hey, you look kind of familiar.

Piracy is theft!

Monsters like that should be shot!

Actually I was the one who caught him.

Really, I planned the whole operation.

I was in command.

- Congratulations.

- Just doing my job.

Wait a second.

May I have your attention, please!

Don't worry...

I was just taking a

picture to remember this by.

Say cheese!

Babe, finally, you picked up the phone.

Listen, don't get mad, don't get mad.

Just let me explain, okay?

All I want is one more chance, okay?

Oh shut up!

Detective Wang!

The deceased was Wang Feng, male, 32...

...a real estate project manager.

He was unmarried, had diabetes...

...and was a member of Greenpeace...

...an environmentalist.

Miu Miu?

Orange juice...

This is a murder.

The guy you want is a

jilted lover, some perv.

who drinks orange juice,

and wears fake Miu Miu heels.

Why did it have to be you?

It's a cruel god.

...that makes me bring you in myself.

I know how the story began...

...but I never guessed

it would come to this.

I don't want our relationship

to end like this either...

...but I'm a police officer...

...and this is my duty.

Oh yeah, you're some cop.

You think this is "Infernal Affairs"?

Can you maybe use your brain?

Are bad guys that easy to catch?

I just spilled the drink a minute ago...

...and I bought these shoes in Europe...

...and they're genuine.

And seriously, take

those stupid glasses off.

You're here to gather evidence,

not look like an idiot.

Hey, help us out, alright?

Bring it over here. Okay, turn it.

By my observations, I

deduce this is a murder case.

By your observations,

I should be in jail.

Where's your evidence?

Who would commit suicide by

drowning themselves in cement?

Get him back to the station.

Madam, the piece of cement is too big.

He won't fit in the van.

So get a bigger vehicle.

If we call now, they won't

be here for another hour.

Then wait.

There might be evidence in his phone.

Don't break it.

If you want something

done, do it yourself.

Waiting is for the helpless.

Go examine this cell phone.

Wang Bu Er!

How is the autopsy on this body coming?

We've been sitting

on our butts too long...

we need a case we can solve!

I don't know.

I'm the janitor.

How is the autopsy on this body coming?

We've been sitting

on our butts too long...

we need a case we can solve!

I've done tests...

...but I can't find an

obvious reason for death.

I don't think this is a suicide, though.

Why?

Because of how he looks.

What about it?

He's smiling.

Do you remember the

"smile murders" case?

Sure.

The only similarity was

the smile on their faces.

So I think it's the same killer...

...a serial killer.

A serial killer!

And, I've discovered.

...the same woman present.

...at each of the victims' funerals.

She wore that?

Criminal psychology.

...says murderers go to the

funerals of their victims.

...to relive the thrill of the murder.

Wow, that's sick!

And if he said pigs could climb trees...

...you'd believe that, too.

They're climbing now! Go look!

The woman's name is Liu Jin...

Liu Jin Shui.

She's the ex-girlfriend of

every dead body we've got.

Crimes of passion.

I think that's a good analysis.

Really? You think so too?

Right, it just hit

the five-day average.

If you ask me, in the next three days,

this stock is definitely going up.

Hey, keep personal

calls on personal time.

Okay, that's it for now.

Wang Bu Er, the motive here is obvious.

We can't afford any more delays.

We need the murder suspect apprehended!

Where's Bu Er?

You're his boss...

...and I'm not his nanny.

We face many challenges in our society.

With a unified will, we can face.

...and overcome these obstacles.

We can bridge the

divisions that separate us.

Look out!

Cut!

Cut! Cut!

Hold on, hold on...

Get that shot! Get that shot!

Get that shot! Get that shot!

That was beautiful.

We got it, yeah?

Yeah.

That scene.

...may have been my finest

work as a director.

It flowed so beautifully!

You're a genius. You

make it look so easy.

Well, yes.

Who are you?

The police!

The police?

Why did you kill your boyfriends?

What did you say?

You have the right to remain silent.

Everything you say can.

...and will be used against

you in a court of law.

Our lead actress is a murderer?

Oh, we can sell that!

We can... Sell that.

Let's do.

Good Cop Bad Cop.

You be the Bad Cop.

You get to be the good cop?

And I'm the bad cop. Why?

Anyone can see.

I'm a more convincing good cop.

If only you could play an

idiot. You'd win an Oscar.

What?

When we go in there...

Let's do Good Cop Bad Cop.

You be Bad Cop.

I'm Bad Cop? Why do

I have to be Bad Cop?

I'm a more convincing good cop.

So I look Bad to you?

I'm not saying you look like anything.

I'm just saying, comparatively...

I seem nicer.

But I'm a better actress.

That's exactly right.

I'm a terrible actor.

I can only play myself.

You know, that's kind of true.

- You have to be really nasty.

- Really nasty?

- Swear at her.

- Swear at her...

Then beat her up.

Beat her up? That's no good.

I don't mean really hit her...

Rate this script:0.0 / 0 votes