Buck Privates Page #7

to write the President

of the United States

a letter.

- What the matter now, Herbie?

- I'm going to hand in my notice.

Don't look now,

brother,

but you're

missing a leg.

What are you,

a wise guy or a salesman?

I've been around.

Did I hear a radio

playing in here?

- There's no radio in here.

- Don't let me hear any carousing.

- Yes, ma'am

- What?

- Yes, sir.

- That's better.

- You've got to be

one or the other.

- Go ahead and play it.

- You heard what the sergeant said.

Never mind him.

I'll take care of him.

- It's a free country, ain't' it?

- Yes.

- You an American citizen?

- Yes.

Go ahead and play it.

And loud.

You know...

Wait a minute.

- Take it easy,

I'm on your side.

Please be my friend.

That sergeant

always makes me boil

I'd like to fry

that guy in oil

No matter what you do

he's always squawkin'

But you just wait

and don't forget

I'll get to be

a captain yet

And that's the day

that I'll do all the talkin'

Men:
Three cheers for the

red, white, and Captain Brown

Hip, hip, hip, hooray...

My buddies!

- What did you do?

- I'll scramble it later.

When I become

a captain

The title will be

strictly unofficial

I won't be

highfalutin

Forget about salutin'

Just step up and call me

by my first initial

Men:
Three cheers for the

red, white and Captain B

Hip, hip, hip, hooray!

My buddy!

Snow this time

of the year?

It's marvelous.

Well, I'll see you later.

When I become

a captain

They'll be no bugle calls

to spoil your slumber

There'll be no KP duties and

we'll draft a bunch of cuties

And instead of doing drills

we'll do the rumba...

What are you doing?!

Men:
Three cheers for the

red, white and Captain Brown

Hip, hip, hip,

hooray!

What do you think

is wrong with this army?

I'm glad you asked me

that, my friend,

and I can tell you

in just two words:

Pa-lenty!

Get the rest of the boys

down here, I'll tell you.

Come on,

fellas.

Now, the way I see it,

There's too much cold

and too much heat

Too many MPs walking a beat too

many hikes and too many marches

Too many feet

with fallen arches

Too much water in the soup, too

many pairs of pants that droop

Too many orders, too many drills,

iodine and quinine pills

Too much mud and too much rain

too many aches and too much pain

Too many blisters, too many corns too

many drums and too many horns, whhaaaaa

Too much working

like a slave

Too many spots

that need a shave

Too many rules

and too much law

Well it's the darndest mess

I ever saw

Three cheers for the red,

white and Captain Brown

Hip, hip,

hip, hip

Hooray.

So you want to be

a captain, huh?

Well, I've had a talk

with the general about you

and we've decided

to make you an admiral.

Admiral?

Ooh, ooh.

Do they have admirals

in the army?

Sure, we're going to put you

in charge of all the vessels.

Oh, goody.

Three cheers for the red,

white and Captain Brown...

Vessels!

Hip, hip, hip,

hooray!

Hiya, boys.

Good fight, huh?

There's a couple

of seats over there.

Excuse me.

All:
Oh!

Hello, Judy,

can I see you a minute?

Excuse me.

Next bout

four rounds!

Private Bill McGuire

of L Company...

...challenges any man...

particularly any man

from K company!

Men, are we going to backwater

and let them get away with that?

- Men:
No!

- Are we?

- What are you looking at me for?

- Certainly not.

Not after the way those L men

clipped us in that rifle match.

Yeah, that rifle match.

Remember that, boys?

Who's going to stand up and

volunteer for the honor of K Company?

Somebody over here

should volunteer over there.

Well, who's going

to stand up and volunteer?

Wow!

That's the proper

company spirit!

Come on, I've got some trunks

that will fit you perfectly.

I don't want

to fight that guy.

I ain't even

mad at him.

You mean to say you're scared

of that little guy over there?

I mean to tell you

that I'm...

- Is that the guy I'm going to fight?

- Yeah.

Tell that fella

to stay in the ring.

- He's a pushover.

- Sure.

Boy, I can picture myself now. The place

is crowded, I'm coming down the aisle,

I jump in the ring,

I throw off my robe,

and the whole crowd

lets out a terrific roar.

- What happened?

- I forgot to put on my pants.

Come on.

Come on.

Okay, boys, okay.

Relax, entertain yourselves

till Private Brown

gets into his fighting togs.

He was a famous trumpet man

from out Chicago way

He has a boogie style

that no one else could play

He was the top man

at his craft

But then his number came up

and he was gone with the draft

He's in the army now

a blowin' reveille

He's the boogie woogie

bugle boy of Company B!

They made him blow a bugle

for his Uncle Sam

It really brought him down

because he couldn't jam

The captain seemed

to understand

Because the next day the cap

went out and drafted a band

And now the company jumps

when he plays reveille

He's the boogie woogie

bugle boy of Company B

A-toot, a-toot-

a-toot-diddelyada-toot

He blows it eight to the bar,

in boogie rhythm

He can't blow a note

unless the bass and guitar

Is playing with him

He makes the company jump

when he play reveille

He's the boogie woogie

bugle boy of Company B

He was the boogie woogie

bugle boy of Company B

And when he played

boogie woogie bugle

He was busy

as a "bzzz" bee

And when he plays he makes the

company jump eight to the bar

He's the boogie woogie

bugle boy of Company B

Toot-toot-toot,

toot-diddelyada

Toot-toot,

he blows it eight to the bar

He can't blow a note

if the bass and guitar

Isn't with himmmmmm

A-a-a-and the company jumps

when he plays reveille

He's the boogie woogie

bugle boy of Company B

He puts the boys to sleep

with boogie every night

And wakes them up the same

way in the early bright

They clap their hands

and stamp their feet

Because they know how he plays

when someone gives him a beat

He really breaks it up

when he plays reveille

He's the boogie woogie

bugle boy of Company B

Da-da-da-da-da

Da-da-da-da-da-da

Da-da-da-da-da

And the company jumps

when he plays reveille

He's the boogie woogie

bugle boy of Company B.

Take it easy.

Funny how some people never

get wise to themselves.

Hey, what am I,

a yardbird?

Presenting the human buzzsaw

of K Company, Herbie Brown!

I'll take it easy with you, kid,

I won't hurt you.

Thattaboy,

champ.

Oh, ain't it cute?

My heart that belongs

to Herbie.

Now listen, kid,

when you get out there,

give him that old one-three...

one-three.

- What happened to two?

- Two you get.

Right.

Huh?

You're too light for him,

so they sent me in.

Gee, thanks.

Thattaboy, champ.

And as referee of this

special event...

Sergeant Collins

of K company!

All right, boys,

instructions,

Come back here!

Come on.

What's the matter with you?

Come on.

All right,

you boys know the rules:

no fighting in the clinches, break

clean, and no hitting below the belt.

- You mean I can't do that?

- No, you can't do that.

- You can't do this with your thumb.

Rate this script:0.0 / 0 votes