Bucktown Page #5

IN THIS HICK TOWN?

THEY'RE GONNA WEAR BADGES

IN THIS HICK TOWN.

BADGES?

ROY CONNED:

THE MAYOR.

NOW HE'S WEARING

THE CHIEF'S BADGE.

JOSH, T.J., AND HAMBONE

ARE POLICEMEN.

HA HA HA HA.

I'LL BE DAMNED.

ALL 4 OF THEM, HUH?

YEAH.

AND ALL OF THEM:

WITH A RAP SHEE A YARD LONG.

THAT OLD ROY IS REALLY

UP TO SOMETHING.

WELL, THAT'S NOT HARD

TO FIGURE OUT.

YOU WAN MY OPINION?

NO.

WELL, YOU'RE GONNA

GET IT ANYWAY, DUMMY.

YOUR:

BUDDY SAW WHAT A GOOD THING

THE CHIEF HAD GOIN' FOR HIM,

AND NOW HE:

WANTS IT FOR HIMSELF.

NO. THEY'RE BROTHERS.

THE CHIEF AND HIS BOYS,

THEY WERE--

HONKIES.

WELL, LET ME

TELL YOU SOMETHING

ABOUT PEOPLE,

BIG SHOT.

WHETHER THEY'RE WHITE, BLACK,

GREEN, YELLOW OR PURPLE,

WHEN THEY SMELL:

A FEW DOLLARS,

THEY ALL ACT ALIKE.

OH?

MM-HMM.

GET UP.

I WON'T TELL YOU

ANYTHING.

BUCKTOWN'S

PURE GOLD,

CHIEF,

AND YOU'VE BEEN

SQUEEZIN' AND

MILKIN' IT DRY.

SO COME ON.

FOR THE LAST TIME,

WHERE'S THE DOUGH?

PAYIN' OFF

STREET SCUM:

WAS EASY.

GIVIN' IN

TO 'EM...

IMPOSSIBLE.

A MAN:

WHO WON'T TALK

DOESN'T NEED

HIS TONGUE.

HAMBONE?

HEY, PARTNER.

HA HA HA.

WELCOME TO:

THE PROMISED:

LAND, HUH?

HEY, BABY,

WHY DON'T YOU

GO AND, UM...

PUT SOMETHING ON

A LITTLE SWEETER,

HUH?

FOR MY MAN.

SURE, HONEY.

MMM.

WHAT IS IT, UH,

WE'RE GONNA BE

PARTNERS IN, BUDDY?

I THOUGHT YOU WERE

GONNA LEAVE TOWN, MAN.

WHAT HAPPENED?

CONSIDERABLE.

CONSIDERABLE.

MAN, LISTEN, WHEN I GO THE TELEPHONE CALL

BACK IN PHILLY:

THAT MY PARTNER:

NEEDED SOME HELP...

HA HA.

HOW WAS I TO KNOW

THAT HE WAS GONNA CUT ME IN

ON A SOFT TOUCH:

THAT I HAD BEEN:

WAITIN' FOR

ALL MY LIFE.

A TOUCH?

WHAT ARE YOU:

TALKIN' ABOUT, MAN?

I JUST CALLED YOU

TO THIS TOWN:

TO HELP ME GET RID OF

SOME JIVE CRACKERS,

THAT'S ALL.

ALL RIGHT,

ALL RIGHT.

SO YOU KNOW WHA THE GOOD BOOK SAYS.

"THE LORD HELPS THEM

THAT HELPS THEMSELVES."

AND THAT'S WHAT WE'RE DOIN', MAN.

WE'RE HELPIN' OURSELVES.

WE OWN:

THIS TOWN.

AND THANKS TO:

HIS HONOR,

WE EVEN GOT THE BADGES

HERE TO PROVE IT. HUH?

HERE'S YOURS.

NO, MAN.

THAT'S NO MY WAY, ROY.

WHAT'S THE MATTER,

MAN? HUH?

YOU DON'T LIKE

MONEY?

OR ARE YOU BEGINNIN'

TO FALL FOR THIS

SMALL TOWN JIVE?

HERE WE GOT A PO OF GOLD AT THE END

OF THE RAINBOW,

AND MY HOMEBOY'S

GOIN' SOFT ON ME.

OH, COME ON, ROY,

YOU KNOW BETTER THAN THAT.

HOW DO I KNOW?

HOW DO I KNOW?

YOU DON'T EVEN

ACT LIKE THE CA I GREW UP WITH.

[Sighs]

MAN,

IT'S JUST THAT...

THIS IS:

MY BROTHER'S TOWN, MAN.

HIS FRIENDS.

I MEAN, I WOULDN' FEEL RIGHT LEANIN'

ON HIS PEOPLE, MAN.

OH, YEAH?

OKAY, IF THAT'S THE WAY

YOU WANT IT,

THAT'S THE WAY

IT'LL BE.

NOW, I'LL

TELL YOU WHAT.

I WON'T LEAN

ON THEM TOO HARD.

JUST ENOUG:

H TO PAY THE RENT.

YEAH! HA HA HA!

LIKE ROBIN HOOD!

ROB FROM THE RICH.

GIVE TO THE POOR.

ME. BUT YOU...

YOU JUST KEEP RUNNIN'

THAT LITTLE CLUB OF YOURS DOWN THERE, SEE?

AND WE'LL TAKE

YOUR SHARE OF THE MONEY

AND PUT IT IN THE SAFE

DOWN AT CITY HALL.

AND WHEN YOU:

DECIDE YOU WANT IT,

IT'LL BE THERE

WAITIN' FOR YOU.

YOU'RE SERIOUS,

AIN'T YOU?

I'M SERIOUS AS A HEART ATTACK.

[Laughing]

OH, MAN,

I AIN'T GONNA BE

NO MORE TROUBLE THAN THE

TAX COLLECTOR.

COME ON, BROTHER!

SH*T, WE SUPPOSED

TO BE FRIENDS, MAN.

I COME ALL THIS WAY

TO HELP YOU OUT.

COME ON, HEY.

A TOAST, HUH?

HA HA HA HA.

TO BEAUTIFUL...

BUCKTOWN.

YOU'RE SHORT.

$300 SHORT.

LAST NIGHT WAS LOUSY.

YOU KNOW WHA ROY SAID.

HOW THE HELL:

CAN I COME UP:

WITH AN EXTRA 50 PERCEN

WHEN THE GIRLS:

DIDN'T EVEN MAKE IT?

JUST OPEN YOUR:

PIGGY BANK, BABY.

NOW, EVERYBODY'S

GOTTA COME UP:

WITH THE NEW DUES

OR YOU'RE DEAD.

MAN, THIS TOWN

IS SOMETHING ELSE.

LIKE EVERY NIGH IS BANK NIGHT,

YOU KNOW?

THE TOWN CLIPPIN'

THE TOURISTS AND US

CLIPPIN' THE TOWN.

THERE'S JUST ONE THING

WRONG. ROY'S FRIEND.

AH, YOU'RE TALKIN'

ABOUT DUKE?

YEAH. HE'S GOT A BIG HAND

IN THE MONEY,

AND HE DOESN' DO A DAMN THING

TO HELP US EARN IT.

NOTHING WE CAN DO,

'CAUSE THAT'S THE WAY

ROY WANTS IT.

WELL,

MAYBE THERE IS.

I MEAN,

THEY'RE GOOD BUDDIES,

RIGHT?

MM-HMM.

WHAT SAY THEY WEREN' SUCH GOOD BUDDIES?

THEN WE COULD STEP IN

AND DO SOMETHING.

LISTEN, T.J., NO 2 DUDES

EVER BEEN CLOSER.

SO HOW COULD WE:

CHANGE ANYTHING?

MAN, I ALREADY

GOT SOMETHIN' GOIN'.

[Laughs]

JOSH IS WORKIN'

IT RIGHT NOW.

I SAY YOU AND I:

GOTTA GIVE HIM A HAND.

THEN I'LL SHOW YOU

HOW TO CHANGE THINGS,

ALL RIGHT?

ALL RIGHT.

ALL RIGHT.

ALL RIGHT, I'M GONNA

TRY TO EXPLAIN I TO YOUR "SATISFACATION."

NOW, THE QUARTERBACK

COME UP TO THE LINE

OF SCRIMMAGE.

YOU SEE, THEY'RE ALL

COVERIN' ON THE RIGHT,

SO HE CALLED:

A COVERIN' COLOR,

WHICH IS GREEN.

SIGNALS 3, 45,

AND NUMBER 4 WAS

THE RIGHT HALFBACK

COMIN' OVER

THE RIGHT HOLE.

AND NUMBER 5

WAS MINE,

'CAUSE I'M

THE ONLY ONE:

SOMEBODY CAN:

TAKE OUT 2 MENS.

HARLEY HERE KEEPS

TELLING ME HE THREW

THAT KEY BLOCK:

IN THE:

CHAMPIONSHIP GAME.

EXPECTS ME:

TO BELIEVE HIM.

BIG LYIN'

NUISANCE.

BIG PHONY.

YOUR MAMA'S

A NUISANCE.

SHE THE BIGGEST NUISANCE

YOU EVER MET.

I SAY YOU LYIN',

BIG MAN.

I AIN'T LYIN',

PUNK.

AND YOU A PUNK.

AND YOU,

YOU A SISSY.

AND YOU,

YOU SON OF A GUN,

YOU A PUNK:

AND A SISSY!

LYIN' LUSH.

I SAY YOU'RE

A LYIN' LUSH.

BIG STAR:

FOOTBALL PLAYER.

I TELL YOU I WAS THE STAR

OF THAT GAME, MOTHERF***ER!

OW!

OW!

OH!

AAH!

HARLEY!

HARLEY. STEVIE.

HARLEY.

[Stevie]

HARLEY.

STEVIE. STEVIE.

STEVIE, LET GO.

STEVIE, NO.

STEVIE.

WE'RE GONNA

GO WITH HIM.

[Siren]

IF BUSINESS:

GETS ANY BETTER,

WE'RE GONNA NEED

A BIGGER SAFE.

LISTEN, ADD THIS UP

RIGHT HERE.

NOW, ROY.

WHAT ARE YOU:

WAITIN' FOR?

FOR YOU TO TELL ME

WHY YOU SENT YOUR GOONS

TO BEAT UP ON HARLEY.

WHY WOULD I DO:

A THING LIKE THAT?

LISTEN. HARLEY IS

IN THE HOSPITAL, MAN,

AND IF HE:

DON'T MAKE IT--

OH, COME ON, MAN,

COOL IT.

COOL IT.

YOU'RE MAKIN' A LO TO DO OUT OF NOTHIN'.

THE WAY I GET IT,

HARLEY WAS GETTIN'

DRUNK IN THE BAR.

RIGHT? HE WAS CAUSIN'

A DISTURBANCE.

THERE WAS:

A COMPLAINT.

LOOK, WHAT ARE MY MEN

WEARING THOSE BADGES FOR

EXCEPT TO KEEP:

THE PEACE?

OH, COME ON, ROY.

YOU KNOW THAT'S B.S.

YOU CALLIN' ME

A LIAR?

NO, MAN, I'M NO CALLING YOU A LIAR.

I'M JUST TRYIN' TO

FIND OUT THE TRUTH.

SO AM I.

WHAT'S WRONG, DUKE?

I MEAN, WHAT'S HAPPENING?

I MEAN, AFTER ALL WE'VE

BEEN THROUGH, MAN,

WHY WOULD I WANNA LAY

OUR FRIENDSHIP ON THE LINE

BEHIND SOME BULLSHIT?

I'M NOT COMING

DOWN ON YOU, ROY.

I JUST WANT YOU TO

CONTROL YOUR CLOWNS,

THAT'S ALL,

BECAUSE IF THEY:

PUSH MY PEOPLE:

AROUND AGAIN:

THEY GONNA HAVE TO

TANGLE WITH ME.

THAT'S ALL

I'M SAYING, MAN.

OKAY.

ALL RIGHT. WHAT DID

HAPPEN TO HARLEY?

HEY, MAN,

LIKE I TOLD YOU.

THE BIG MAN CAN' HANDLE HIS SAUCE.

WE WENT IN TO MAKE AN ARREST,

AND HE BEGAN THROWING

HIS WEIGHT AROUND.

SO IT TOOK 3 OF US

TO GET HIM OUT.

THAT'S ALL?

WOULD I LIE:

TO YOU?

[Loudspeaker]

DR. EDWARD COLL,

PLEASE CALL YOUR ANSWERING

SERVICE IMMEDIATELY.

OH, HARLEY.

HOW DO YOU FEEL?

ALL RIGHT.

WELL,

WHAT HAPPENED?

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