Bucktown Page #4

BUT WE'RE HERE

WITH THE CURE.

[Girls laughing]

HOW YOU LIKE:

THESE LITTLE:

CUTIE PIES?

MAN, ARE YOU CRAZY?

GET RID OF THIS JAILBAIT.

SORRY, GIRLS.

WE'RE GONNA HAVE

TO PARTY LATER.

WE GOT TO TAKE CARE

OF SOME BUSINESS.

GET YOUR ACT TOGETHER.

YEAH.

OKAY.

AND THE CHIEF.

THAT'S 5.

WHAT ABOUT THE GUY

WHO HIRED THEM?

HIS HONOR,

THE MAYOR?

NO, YOU WON'T HAVE

TO WORRY ABOUT HIM.

HE BROUGHT THE CHIEF IN

TO CLEAN UP THE TOWN

FOR THE TOURISTS.

[Duke]

AFTERWARDS, HE, UH, SAW

HE HAD A GOOD THING GOING

AND MOVED RIGHT IN.

SO HE'D BE THE HAPPIES OF ANYBODY TO SEE HIM

RUN OUT OF TOWN.

THEN WE DON'T HAVE

ANY PROBLEM, DO WE?

REMEMBER THAT LITTLE

SITUATION WE HAD

A COUPLE OF YEARS AGO?

YOU WAN TO WORK I THE SAME WAY?

WHY NOT, MAN?

NO SENSE IN:

DRAGGING IT OUT.

BESIDES, I WANT TO SEE

IF YOU'VE, UH...

SLOWED DOWN:

IN YOUR OLD AGE.

HUH. NO WAY.

[Chuckling]

HEY, THERE'S ANOTHER ONE

OUT THERE NOW.

[Hambone]

MAN, THIS CAT'S

GONNA GO BLIND:

SQUINTIN' UP AT ME

WITH HIS BIG BLUE EYES.

DUKE, WHAT ABOUT THE BOSS

OF THESE TIN SOLDIERS?

WELL, AS FAR AS

I CAN TELL, MAN,

HE'S ALL

SPIT-AND-POLISH.

STILL THINKS WORLD WAR II

IS GOING ON,

BUT I WOULDN'T PLAY HIM

TOO CHEAP, MAN.

HE DIDN'T GET THIS FAR

BEING DUMB.

WANT TO CHILL HIM

FIRST?

NO, WE'LL HOOK THAT UP

AFTER WE GET THE LOCATIONS.

YOU SICK ANIMAL!

[Laughing]

WHAT THE HELL'S

WRONG WITH HER?

[Police radio]

THEY HAVEN'T BUDGED

FOR 4 HOURS.

NOBODY STAYS IN:

THAT HOTEL THAT LONG.

WHERE'S DUANE?

HE'S OVER THERE.

THEY'RE TROUBLE, BRIAN.

THEY DON'T LOOK RIGHT.

YOU WORRY:

TOO MUCH, SAM.

NO COON LOOKS GOOD

TO A DECENT MAN.

JUST REMEMBER,

WE'RE THE LAW.

GOD IS ON:

OUR SIDE.

YES, SIR.

SEE YOU LATER,

SAM.

[Duke]

GETS OFF WORK:

AFTER MIDNIGHT.

USUALLY MAKES A BEELINE

STRAIGHT FOR THIS PLACE.

THAT'S HIS OLD LADY

DANCING UP THERE.

HE USUALLY TAKES

HER HOME ABOUT 2:00.

THAT'D BE A GOOD TIME

TO NAIL HIS ASS...

IN THE SACK.

HA HA!

MAN, YOU GOT A MEAN STREAK

IN YOU, BROTHER.

TO THE BONE.

LIKE, YOU BABIES

WANT A LITTLE ACTION?

WE GOT EAC:

H OTHER, MAMA.

HA HA HA HA.

UH, AHEM.

EXCUSE ME, SIR.

MY NAME IS ROY WILLIAMS.

THIS IS DUKE JOHNSON.

I'M SURE YOU KNOW HIM.

HE'S A FRIEND OF MINE.

WE WERE JUST TAKING A STROLL

DOWN THE STREET HERE.

WE WOULD VERY MUCH LIKE I IF YOU WOULD JOIN US, HUH?

OH--OH, YEAH...

LIGHT.

NO, THANKS.

I DON'T SMOKE.

HA HA HA. THINK WE

SHOULD DITCH HIM?

NO. HE'S FAT ENOUGH.

LET HIM GET SOME EXERCISE.

[Chuckling]

GIVE HIM:

A LITTLE NOD HERE.

[Duke]

SAM LIKES TO SPEND

EVENINGS OVER AT THE HOTEL.

THERE'S A BIG MONEY GAME ON.

HE GETS A PIECE OF THE TAKE.

BET 5.

YOU WANT TO CALL?

[Duke]

THEN THERE'S MERLE. LIVES

OVER AT RUBY'S WHOREHOUSE.

OWNS A CHUNK OF IT.

A BAD MOTHER.

THAT MERLE, HE GETS

HIS KICKS LEANING HEAVY

ON THE LADIES.

HOW MANY TIMES:

HAVE I TOLD YOU:

NOT TO BE LATE?

I SWEAR,

I WASN'T!

HONEST!

DON'T YOU NEVER

LIE TO ME,

YOU HEAR?

NEVER!

USUALLY:

THIS TIME:

OF NIGHT,

THERE'S ONLY ONE COP

MANNIN' THE FORT.

OH, YEAH?

WELL, THERE'S

NO SWEAT, HUH?

HE'S PROBABLY

SLEEPIN' ON THE JOB.

MAYBE, UH...

MAYBE WE OUGHTA TRY

TO MAKE IT PERMANENT.

PERMANENT?

DAMN, BROTHER,

YOU HAVE BECOME ONE

VIOLENT DUDE.

TRUE.

LOVER OF ALL:

MANKIND, RIGHT?

[Duke] THE WAY I SEE IT,

FIRST THING WE GOTTA

DO IS TAKE THEIR RADIO OUT.

.RUE. LAST THING WE NEED IS

[Roy]

TSTATE POLICE SNOOPIN' AROUND.

SOMEHOW I DON'T THINK

THEY'D UNDERSTAND.

WELL, WHAT YOU THINK,

HOME?

IT'S COOL. LIKE STEALIN'

CANDY FROM A BABY.

OH, YEAH?

YEAH.

HEH, HEH, HEH.

[Whistling]

UGH!

MERLE! CLETE!

NO, NO, NO

! I'LL BREAK YOUR ASS!

DON'T HIT ME AGAIN!

DON'T HIT ME AGAIN!

PLEASE! I DON'T--

UGH!

[Sobbing]

PLEASE, GOD!

PLEASE, GOD!

I'M JUST LIKE YOU!

LIKE HELL!

[Woman]

HONEY, WHERE ARE

THE CIGARETTES?

THEY'RE ON

THE DRESSER, BABY.

[Gasps]

SHH.

SHH. SHH. SHH.

FIRE ESCAPE!

[Shotgun c*cks]

LISTEN, YOU DUMB SAMBO,

I'M GONNA EXPLAIN I JUST ONCE MORE.

I DON'T WAN MY HAMBURGERS

WITHOUT MUSTARD.

I WANT THEM:

WITHOUT KETCHUP,

BUT WITH MUSTARD.

NOW, GET IT RIGHT THIS TIME,

OR I'M GONNA KICK YOUR ASS!

NOT AN INCH.

DON'T MOVE

AN INCH.

YOU KNOW ANY PRAYERS,

CRACKER?

SHAME ON YOU:

IF YOU DON'T.

[Police radio]

YOU SHOULD:

HAVE HAD THE KETCHUP.

I WANT TO CALL.

THERE'S ANOTHER ONE.

GIVE ME A RAISE.

COME ON.

[Shouting]

KEEP THE MONEY!

I WANT HIM!

DROP THE GUN, DAMN IT,

OR I'LL BLOW HER HEAD OFF!

DROP IT!

DUKE!

I MEAN IT.

NOW, BACK UP!

BACK UP AND LET ME OUT!

I'M TAKING HER WITH ME!

MOVE BACK! MOVE BACK OR

I'LL BLOW HER HEAD OFF!

YOU STAY BACK!

YOU STAY FAR BACK,

YOU HEAR?

I MUST BE:

LOSING MY TOUCH.

GOT TO HIT HIM WHERE

IT HURTS, MY MAN.

HA HA HA.

THAT'S A GOOD SHOT.

HA HA HA.

NO USE:

WASTING GOOD AMMO.

[Woman laughing]

OH...

OH!

[Floor creaks]

[Gun c*cks]

RISE AND SHINE, CHIEF.

THE WAR IS OVER.

HA HA HA.

COMPANY.

WELL,

WELL.

BUCKTOWN'S OWN

PRIVATE TIN SOLDIER.

ATTEN-HUT!

WHAT DO YOU THINK,

DUKE?

WELL, HOW ABOUT 10:00

IN THE MORNING?

WHY,

THAT'S TOO EARLY.

WELL, UH,

HOW ABOUT HIGH NOON?

WHAT,

AND SPOIL OUR LUNCH?

WELL, DAMN,

LET'S SHOOT HIM

AT 1:
00, THEN.

HOW ABOU RIGHT NOW?

YOU'RE NO GONNA KILL ME.

NEWS TRAVELS FAST.

IT'S BOUND TO GE TO THE STATE TROOPERS.

IF THEY ASK:

ANY QUESTIONS,

YOU'RE GONNA TELL

YOUR BLACK MAYOR

TO TELL THEM:

THAT YOU'RE HOLDING

THE CHIEF OF POLICE

FOR BREAKIN'

THE LAW.

NO, YOU'RE GONNA

KEEP ME ALIVE,

'CAUSE I'M GONNA KEEP

YOUR BLACK ASSES

FROM BURNIN' IN HELL!

HA HA HA!

$1,432:

PROSTITUTION.

I CAN'T TELL YOU

HOW MUCH WE APPRECIATE

WHAT YOU BOYS HAVE DON

E FOR OUR LITTLE OLD TOWN.

WE WERE ALL:

BEING, UH...

WELL, YOU KNOW,

WE WERE BEING, UH...

THE WORD IS:

"SCREWED,"

MR. MAYOR.

EXACTLY.

JUST THE RIGHT WORD.

EXCUSE ME,

SISTER.

$2,848:

GAMBLING.

BEFORE:

I FORGET...

THE BADGES FROM:

YOUR USED-TO-BE

POLICE DEPARTMENT.

WE DO:

THANK YOU.

IF ONLY THERE WAS

SOME WAY TO THANK YOU,

I MEAN, UH,

FOR OUR TOWN:

TO EXPRESS:

OUR APPRECIATION

FOR WHAT YOU'VE DONE

BEFORE YOU LEAVE.

THINK REAL HARD.

YOU'LL COME UP

WITH SOMETHING.

MR. MAYOR,

LAST NIGHT'S RECEIPTS

COME TO A TOTAL OF $6,319.

FINE.

A PARADE.

WHAT?

DOWN THE:

MAIN STREET.

WITH THE HIGH SCHOOL

MARCHING BAND:

AND OUR POMPOM GIRLS

AND BATON TWIRLERS

AND YOU AND YOUR BOYS

WAVIN' AND SMILIN',

AND BRINGIN' UP

THE REAR,

THE BUCHANAN VOLUNTEER

FIRE DEPARTMENT.

NO PARADE.

NO PARADE.

NO PARADE?

NO. NO PARADES.

I THINK I CAN SUGGES A BETTER WAY

FOR YOU TO SHOW YOUR

APPRECIATION, MR. MAYOR.

DUKE.

DUKE, WAKE UP.

GET YOUR:

BUNS UP.

DUKE!

WHAT?

GET UP!

COME ON,

ALL RIGHT,

COME ON.

ANY TIME'S

THE RIGHT TIME.

COME ON.

DUKE, I DIDN'T COME HERE

TO GET IN YOUR BED,

I CAME TO GET YOU

OUT OF IT.

OUT OF IT?

IT'S TOO EARLY.

ROY DON'T LEAVE

TILL 12:
00.

BUT, DUKE, THAT'S WHA I CAME HERE TO TELL YOU.

THE TRAIN'S LEAVIN',

BUT ROY AIN'T.

DUKE.

ROY? WHAT ARE YOU

TALKIN' ABOUT?

THEY'RE ALL

STAYIN' HERE.

NOW, WHAT THEY GONNA DO

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