Buddymoon
- Year:
- 2016
- 80 min
- 108 Views
1
"WE ARE NOW ABOU TO PENETRATE
A COUNTRY:
ON WHICH THE FOO OF CIVILIZED MAN
HAS NEVER TROD.
THE GOOD OR EVIL
HAS YET TO BE DETERMINED.
BY WHICH WE ARE TO SURVIVE.
THE PARTY:
ARE IN EXCELLENT HEALTH
AND SPIRITS."
"ZEALOUSLY ATTACHED
TO THE ENTERPRISE
AND ANXIOUS TO PROCEED."
"ENTERTAINING, AS I DO,
THE MOST CONFIDENT HOPES
I COULD BUT ESTEEM
THIS MOMENT OF OUR DEPARTURE"...
..."AS AMONG
THE MOST HAPPY:
OF MY LIFE."
FROM THE JOURNALS
SO, DAVID ZARA
FOR WILLIAM CLARK.
HOW TALL YOU ARE?
ANY HEIGHT.
THAT'S HOW GOOD I AM.
YOU KNOW, DAVID,
I GOTTA SAY,
WE'RE BOTH HUGE
"LITTLE GENIUS" FANS.
AH, MAN, HUGE.
WE LOVE IT, LOVE IT.
COOL, GUYS.
YES, THANK YOU.
IT WAS A LONG TIME AGO,
BUT, YOU KNOW.
HOW DID IT GO,
IT WAS LIKE, HE'S A...
LITTLE GENIUS.
- OH, WOW, WAIT.
AND THE CATCHPHRASE--
-"DOES NOT COMPUTE."
-OH, YEAH, YEAH.
- "THAT DOES NOT COMPUTE."
- OKAY.
NO, THAT WAS THE, UM,
THE ROBOT-- "LITTLE GENIUS"
-WHO SAID THAT.
-OH.
BUT I WAS LIKE:
THE STRAIGHT MAN,
LIKE, "AWE."
YOU KNOW?
UM, I DON'T REMEMBER THAT.
HEY, WELL,
SHOULD WE GET STARTED?
SURELY.
PACIFIC. PACIFIC.
MERIWETHER?
MERIWETHER,
STOP PADDLING. YON.
IT'S THE PACIFIC!
HI, THIS IS DAVID.
I CAN'T COME TO
BECAUSE I AM ON:
MY HONEYMOON.
CALL YOU IN A WEEK
WHEN I GET BACK.
HI DAVID, IT'S FLULA,
YOUR BFF FOREVER.
I HOPE YOU'RE DOING OKAY.
I KNOW PROBABLY:
THE ANSWER IS "NOT OKAY,"
BUT DON'T WORRY.
YOUR BEST MAN:
GASSY BALL.
IT WILL MAKE SENSE
IN JUST SOME SECONDS.
BYE-BYE.
GOOD MORNING, DAVID.
HEY.
OKAY.
LOOK WHO'S HERE
NO?
THESE RAYS:
HAVE NO EFFECT?
HERE, HAVE A BOTTLE.
OOH, ROS.
I LIKE IT.
SHE TAKES:
ALL OF THE FURNITURE,
BUT ON THE BRIGHT SIDE,
I HAVE A:
LIFETIME SUPPLY:
OF ROS.
THINGS ARE LOOKING UP.
-WHAT'RE YOU WEARING?
-WHAT AM I WEARING?
DAVID,
WHAT ARE YOU WEARING?
YOU LOOK LIKE KANGAROO.
YOU KNOW MARSUPIALS
ACTUALLY TRAVEL:
IN PAIRS, THOUGH.
"FROM THE PEN OF WILLIAM CLARK.
EVERY GREAT JOURNEY,
LIKE A GIANT REDWOOD
BEGINS, INITIALLY,
AS A SMALL SEED.
MERIWETHER LEWIS CAME TO VISIT,
I WAS ENTIRELY UNAWARE
THAT HE HAD COME
TO PLANT THIS VERY SEED
INTO MY LIFE."
DAVID,
YOU'VE BEEN IN HERE FOR LIKE,
WHAT, A WEEK?
YOU NEED SOME SUN
ON YOUR FACE:
AND YOUR BODY,
YOUR LEGS, TORSO.
WE WERE GONNA STAR OUR HONEYMOON TODAY.
ONE WEEK HIKE:
WOULD'VE BEEN VERY ROMANTIC.
IT'S TOO LATE
-DID YOU CANCEL IT?
-NO.
YOU'RE OUTSIDE,
ARE YOU LIKE JUST IN THE FORES AND NATURE WITH SOMEONE
YEAH, IT JUS WOULD'VE BEEN
ME AND FRANKIE:
OUT THERE.
BUT FRANKIE'S
NOT AVAILABLE.
YEAH, I'M AWARE
OF THAT, FLULA.
-THANK YOU.
-NO, I'M JUST SAYING,
SOUNDS LIKE A TRIP
THAT IS NOT CANCELLED
ON THIS WONDERFUL JOURNEY.
MM.
IT WOULD'VE BEEN.
DAVID.
WHAT DID RUDY DO
WHEN HE COULD NO MAKE THE SACK?
"RUDY,"
THE FOOTBALL MOVIE?
EXACTLY. "RUDY."
YOU ARE RUDY.
AND THESE OPPONENTS,
THE ENEMY TEAM, AND THE PEOPLE.
THIS IS LIKE FRANKIE
AND THE WEDDING CANCEL
AND ALL THE SAD TIMES
IN YOUR LIFE.
YOU ARE THERE ON THE FIELD
AND YOU'RE LIKE,
"WHAT THE-- HELP!
A SACK, PERHAPS."
NOBODY CAN SEE YOU.
YOU ARE TINY.
BUT DO NOT WORRY, DAVID--
I MEAN, RUDY,
YOU HAVE FRIENDS.
YOU HAVE:
THE OTHER PLAYERS
ON THE TEAM,
THE TALL BOYFRIENDS
WITH THE JERSEYS AND NUMBERS.
THIS IS ME.
AND THE CROWD:
RUDY! RUDY!
RUDY!
THIS IS ME, ALSO.
AND I'M THE GRASSES
AND THE SKY.
I'M-- I'M ALL
OF THESE THINGS, DAVID.
I'M HELPING YOU OUT.
YOU'LL WIN THE CHAMPIONSHIP.
AND I WILL HELP YOU, RUDY.
LET'S DO IT.
YEAH, SO, WAIT.
YOU WANT-- WHAT'RE YOU SAYING?
ON YOUR HONEYMOON TOGETHER.
-NO, NO.
-NO, THIS IS GREAT, DAVID.
-AWFUL.
-NO, WE'RE DOING THIS.
RUDY! RUDY! RUDY!
RUDY.
RUDY. RUDY. RUDY.
-WHAT?
-RUDY.
-RUDY.
-RUDY.
OKAY, DAVID.
SO THIS IS MY FIRST HONEYMOON.
TELL ME,
WHAT WILL WE DO?
WELL, IT'S GONNA BE
SEVEN DAYS,
SEVEN NIGHTS,
HIKE THROUGH:
THE WILDERNESS,
GORGEOUS VISTAS,
RUGGED OVERLOOKS.
THAT SOUNDS AMAZING, DAVID.
THERE'S A SPECIAL TREAT.
WILDERNESS LODGE.
OOH, SOUNDS VERY ROMANTIC.
YEAH, THAT'S...
KINDA THE WEIRD THING
ABOUT THIS.
HOW MANY BEDS?
ONE BED.
BUT I'M SURE THEY WILL BRING
UH! GOT YOU!
OKAY, SO WE WILL
-TO MAKE TWO BEDS?
-NO-- GOD, NO, NO!
A COT IS LIKE:
A SMALLER BED:
THAT THEY CAN LEND US
SO WE'LL HAVE THREE BEDS?
FAIR ENOUGH.
WON'T YOU
COME BACK HERE AGAIN?
I'M THE COUNTRY
GENTLEMEN:
DON'T COUNT YOUR BATTLES
JUST FAMILY AND FRIENDS
I'M THE COUNTRY
GENTLEMEN:
DAVID, I'VE HEARD THERE ARE
MAGICAL CREATURES
-IN THIS FOREST?
YEAH, LIKE YETIS
AND LEPRECHAUNS, WEREWOLVES.
THE SASQUATCH.
OKAY, I'LL TELL YOU RIGHT NOW
THAT DOES NOT EXIST.
I'VE SEEN PHOTOS
OF SASQUATCH.
WELL, I'VE SEEN PHOTOS
OF GODZILLA.
HAVE YOU SEEN:
"DIE HARD 2"?
I HAVE NOT SEEN:
"DIE HARD 2."
DOESN'T EXIST.
YEAH.
WHEN A FRIEND:
AND ANOTHER FRIEND
ARE GOING THROUGH
THE FORES FOR SOME
ADVENTURING TIMES
WHAT WILL THEY SEE?
NOBODY KNOWS:
-WAIT, WAIT.
SHH, SHH, SHH, SHH.
HELLO?
SHUT UP.
YOU'RE KIDDING ME.
YOU KNOW, I WILL HAVE
MY PHONE ON ME ALL WEEK.
I'M REACHABLE.
OKAY, BYE.
WOO HOO HOO!
THAT WAS MY AGENT.
-YEAH?
-OKAY, I WENT IN
FOR THIS LEWIS AND CLARK
BIO PIC FOR WILLIAM CLARK.
THEY REALLY LIKE ME,
AND I'M GONNA FIND OU -IN THE NEXT COUPLE OF DAYS.
-OH, DAVID, I'M SO HAPPY.
YOU-- YOU THINK
I'LL GET RECEPTION, RIGHT?
-OH, IN THE FOREST?
-YEAH.
N-NO.
NO, NO.
WE'RE IN THE BOONIE-DOCKS
RIGHT NOW.
-YOU READY?
-YEAH.
I ENTERED US:
IN THE REGISTRY, DAVID.
THIS WAY, IF A SASQUATCH
OR SOMETHING EATS US,
OUR LIMBS OKAY.
THAT'S A GOOD IDEA.
- HAHA! LET'S DO THIS!
- OH, YEAH.
BOUND IT, DAVID.
BOUND IT.
HO-HOO!
-ARE YOU LOOKING AT THIS, FLULA?
-I SEE IT, DAVID.
-I LOVE IT.
EXACTLY WHAT I NEEDED.
THIS IS MY THERAPY.
MY ANTIDEPRESSANT.
SUCK IT IN, DAVID,
SUCK IT IN.
FOR YOU?
IT'S LIKE HEAVEN,
BUT WITH REAL TREES.
THIS IS THE GREATEST THING.
"THE WOODED COUNTRY,
THROUGH WHICH:
WE NOW PASS:
IS THE MOST RUGGED
AND MOST BEAUTIFUL
I HAVE EVER SEEN.
BUT THIS BEAUTY BELIES SURELY
BELIES SOME UNKNOWN DANGER.
I AM NO COWARD,
BUT I FEAR:
THAT NOT ALL:
WILL MAKE IT ACROSS
THE CONTINENT.
BUT FOR NOW,
NOT A WHISPER OF DISCONTEN CAN BE HEARD AMONG THE MEN.
WE ACT IN UNISON
WITH THE MOS PERFECT HARMONY."
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"Buddymoon" Scripts.com. STANDS4 LLC, 2024. Web. 22 Dec. 2024. <https://www.scripts.com/script/buddymoon_4795>.
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