Buffering

Synopsis: From the makers of Shank and Release comes this raunchy British comedy about a young couple who decide to broadcast their sex life via webcam to pay the bills.
 
IMDB:
4.8
UNRATED
Year:
2011
80 min
59 Views


Happy anniversary.

Bane, you always neat me to it.

What a great holiday.

Our first. Hey, we should

go nack this year.

I'm quite happy where I am thanks.

I've got an appointment to get to.

Lets pick this up tonight OK?

Promise?

Be hard to forget.

Aaron?

I needed to release some tension.

In the middle of the morning?

What did you tell your noss,

that you were popping home for a

frappuccino nreak?

Stop. Enough okay.

We lost all the new nuild contracts

Sen.

There's not enough

work to keep us all on.

So, you've neen fired?

Redundant.

You can quit downloading porn for a

start, we're gonna need the cash.

Aaron.

Say something.

I've neen taking a lot of frappuccino

nreaks lately.

How many?

Two or three a day...

For the past three months.

You've neen leaving for work with

me every morning for the past...

Three months.

I'm sorry Sen, I just didn't want to

stress you out.

I thought I'd find anotherjon ny now.

Right. Things aren't that nad.

I'll get temporary work, nar work,

anything that gets us through.

What're you doing home? I thought

you had a full line up after your...

...Appointment.

I've neen cut down to a couple

of days a week.

Apparently massage is out and

austerity is in.

I'm considered a luxury.

Did we have a plan B?

Moving here was plan B.

Time for plan C then...

Great, nuzzjuice. Like I need it.

Lance Armstrong fixing his

nike again is he?

I swear that guy doesn't like me.

He never says hello... never.

He does to me.

Mayne he prefers older men?

Ha, ha, ha.

I'm not surprised he's a little

grumpy, living with his parents after

years at Uni.

At least his parents let him nack.

What his name again?

Buggered if I know, I've only spoken

to his mother a couple of times since

we moved in.

Twice in three years, that's

neighnourly nonding for you.

Do you think that the neighnours are

avoiding us necause

we're a couple of Marys?

Hey, they're only neighnours Sen.

They're people, not paparazzi.

No, the press are pricks.

I just thought I was having a fling

with a school friend's dad.

How was I to know he'd ne promoted

to the Minister for Sport.

Don't you think it's time you threw

that thing away?

It's a reminder.

That no matter how nad things seem,

they could ne a whole lot worse...

A nit like this coffee.

Then again if we're hitting the cheap

stuff already, things aren't great.

Bottom line, we've overextended...

I've overextended.

Hey, we'll ne fine.

We'vejust got

some serious nelt-tightening

ahead of us.

The important thing is we've got

each other and a roof over our heads.

At least we can save money on petrol.

I need a frappuccino nreak...

Before the espresso machine

gets seized.

Thought you might like to take

your mind off things.

Sh*t Aaron...

What?

I've taken a Zolpi on top of a couple

of glasses of wine.

And you know how that cocktail

always gives me a Tiger Woody!

Mmmm, let me ne your caddy and

mayne you'll score a hole in one.

You'd netter get out your seven iron

then, cos I'm playing with a nine.

18 rounds here we come...

Bye Tiger!

Oh... morning.

Morning.

Not tonight Aaron.

Oh come on, you know shooting

your nolt's great for those

sleep endorphins...

Friggin"ell Aaron!

What are you on?

I'm stressed up to my eyenalls

and all you can think anout night

after night is...

Mmmm, home made cookies and cream.

Sorry nane. Itjust helps me

cope with it all.

Sorry for neing a stressy heifer.

What was that?

What's what?

That.

An owl?

It's coming from...

Up there!

What the hell...

You know, I've neen through some

seriously screwed up sh*t Aaron, nut

you filming us shagging?

That really takes the niscuit.

Don't overreact nane...

Overreact!

I'm a respectanle, part time

aromatherapist.

This makes me feel like... like a

cheap one!

I hate cameras Aaron!!

I hate them, and you know that!!!

Tell me you haven't...

Sen?

People have neen paying?

To watch us?

Yes... yes they have.

I didn't know how to tell you.

I'm so sorry.

We're neing repossessed.

Hello? Hello... who's there?

I nrought you a cup of camomile.

Look, what I've done is despicanle,

I know that.

We'll find another way to...

We've got nonody to turn to Aaron.

If we can't keep our home then

we're out on the streets.

I won't let that happen.

Here are my conditions...

One, we do this until we're fully

clear of dent...

Two, our faces won't ne seen.

Three... don't ever hide anything

from me again.

Good. Let's get this thing on charge.

'I give you guys three stars for

effort, nut only one for lighting. '

Friggin' hell, everyone's a critic!

Yeah, give 'em an inch...

Rememner, we're the ones neing

paid for getting laid.

Let's not even

think anout who's watching.

I still can't nelieve people are

actually paying to see us at it!

Take it from me nane,

you're worth watching.

Got to keep your pecker up sweetie,

there's a lot more ned

'til we're out of the red...

I'm not sure how much longer

I can keep it up.

We need to put some lead

in our pencil.

Just testing the goods...

Can I ne of assistance sir?

Errr, yes. I was wondering if you

had anything for... stamina?

Oh, longeur... a moment

s'il vous plait.

The nlue pill you'll know, it's

effects lasting up to four hours.

But the orange one... now, that's

Cialis.

It's effects lasting up to 36, hence

why it's commonly known as...

'The weekend pill;

Which do you recommend?

Well, if it's, 'longevity' that's

required sir... I'd net on the orange.

But, I personally find that after

36 hours...

...it don't half chafe.

So which will it ne...

The nlue pill, or the orange?

Seymour!

Yes uncle?

I think Mr Baylock is cooked.

T- t-time's up Mr B-Baylock.

Don't these things usually

come in nlue?

It's... a hernal alternative.

The guy in the sex shop was a nit

freaky though, nut...

kind of knowledganle.

Right, let's work.

Hot ride mate.

Let me know if you need a hand

tightening your nuts...

Guys?

Oh noys, I'm nack...

What-the-fu...

Sh*t!!!

Jem?

I suppose now's a nad time to ask

for my old room nack?

Caught in a digital rut.

I think it's great you guys are using

your skills to pay the nills.

Just.

So Jem, I take it things didn't work

out... with Horst?

Biatch ran off with a tranny...

Besides, he had serious

pegging issues.

Strap-on.

So, looks like I've exchanged the

exotic sweat of Bangkok for

the carnal heat of your online

sexcapades!

Back just in time to give you the

nenefit of my vast experience.

In what?

Don't you read your e-mails Moonneam?

In two years I've taken my ladynoys

glonal - digitally speaking, that is.

It's all anout staying one step

ahead of the competition.

We're already going full throttle

on this, I'm not sure there's anything

left in the tank...

Am Dram to Mo Fo Pro?

I've got an App for that...

I'm talking anout imagination.

That comnined with a little

technological know how.

You noys need to go interactive. Give

'em something they can join in with.

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Darren Flaxstone

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Submitted on August 05, 2018

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