BURIED ALIVE Page #3

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WILLIAM (CONT'D)

OK,so OK,,so I’m OK with that, thanks for telling me, OK, and that was it,I had been told, something I never wanted to hear in the first place and I walked away thinking that I knew something that my grandparents didn't know I knew, and I didn’t know if you Mother, was going to tell them that I know. So Philip-Dorothy did you know I knew? I’ll never know, oh well. And now I had an aunt Barbara and a uncle Len and a first cousin named Penny, who was hot, but that’s a different story.

So life went on,and we continued as one big happy broken family yet again.

William sits up, takes the urn and starts to shake it

lightly.

So the next bombshell Mother, you decide to drop on me years later was during a phone call in the evening, you had a few drinks and were pretty talkative. This time I did not ask but you felt the need to unburden yourself of past events.

You told me that after my older brother Steven was born, you and your husband, my father were having some trouble and you were not planning on having anymore children. But as life would have it, you had an affair and you got pregnant, with me,and had never told anyone, so my father was never my real father.

William stops shaking the urn and puts it down on the ground and replaces the lid to the urn with a clank.

Thanks again Mom for changing my life so completely in the matter of a split second, I hope you feel better. You asked me do I have any questions? I said no not really,because I didn't really need to know, but you still felt like talking and you told me the fellow you had the affair with was a wealthy American, a real gentleman and that it was over as soon as it started and he never knew about me and you never saw him again.

Great mom, again thank you for sharing, have a good sleep good night and I hung up phone, thinking if my father ever knew

the truth that I was not his real son.

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10.

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WILLIAM (CONT'D)

And my brothers, well they were only my half brothers now, so many secrets for one small family and I’m sure I didn’t know the half of it.

William stretches out his legs and puts his hands on the ground behind him.

Well mother dearest that was not the end of your assaults on my ever so frail psyche. You, Leonard and I had spent the weekend at Aunt Barbara’s house, and uncle Len was driving us home. When we arrived home Leonard and I went outside to play. When we returned uncle Len’s car was still in the driveway and you were both in the same room together with the door closed making noise. I was fifteen and I knew what was going on and at that moment I realized that my mother was a slut, and sleeping with her twin sisters husband.

Then a few years later when you were living with your boyfriend Roger, I got a phone call and he explained that you and him had an argument and that I should check on you because he is afraid you are going to do something to harm yourself. I reassured him that I will check on you and I hang up the phone.

As I considered all the possibilities of my level headed professional mother doing anything rash or destructive to herself, I pick up the phone and dialed your number, there is no answer, I drive over to your house,I unlocked the door, called out your name and there was still no answer, I walk into the bedroom and there you where, lying naked on the bed passed out with a open empty bottle of pills next to you and a half empty bottle of scotch on the night table. How Hollywood, I thought.

William lays down on the ground face up with his hands behind

his head.

So there I am eighteen years old sitting at the foot of the bed, not over reacting not under reacting, just thinking about

what is the right thing to do.

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WILLIAM (CONT'D)

My thoughts are along a logical vain, if my mother wants to kill herself then who am I to stand in the way of her destiny. On the other hand all I have to do to save her life is pick up the phone, dial 911 and wait for the police,the ambulance and fireman to show up and take my mothers naked body out the front door of her home and to the hospital or the morgue,a little embarrassing.

At that point in your life I had hoped for better things for you,that happiness would be a predominate part of your day and that you were looking forward to years too come, and that I could be proud of your actions and behavior,I knew this was not to be, because life had not turned out the way you wanted it to, and you were unwilling to accept the way it had worked out.

Even though I thought it was better to let you die,I was not able to let it end this way, so for what ever reasons I’ll never really know, I picked up the phone and called 911. You lived, I made you promise you would never try and kill yourself again and you did promise but I was not totally convinced.

William sits up and leans forward.

I think there were moments you were grateful for my intervention and there were probably a great many moments you were not. I’m glad I did, because we wouldn't of got to spend all those wonderful moments together, summers at the beach, winters in Florida just hanging out talking about stuff,being ourselves having fun.

Life was good together,I always admired your style and your sense determination. Your professional attitude, that you would put on every day and go out that door to get what we needed and come back every night to protect us and take care of us and make sure we had nice clean

clothes to wear.

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WILLIAM (CONT'D)

You taught us manners and courtesy and appreciation for life,you gave us social graces that would get us through any door and keep us there, and the ability to sit at any dinner table and be welcome.

It was a very proud moment for me when I called you up and thanked you for giving birth to me. I was so pleased that you were my mother and I was your son because I learned a hell of a lot from you and loved you very much. We struggled together and we preserved and I think we did pretty damn good ,so thank you again for this amazing life you gave me and all that you allowed me to accomplish.

William leans his back against the headstone, while to the urn.

So lets recap shall we. You were adopted and ashamed of it, you blamed your children for your husbands early death because we invited him to play hockey with us. You had an affair or many and slept with your sisters husband because you were a slut. You gave birth to me,obviously the high light of your life.

You lied to many people about their own lives, you tried to kill yourself, because your life sucked and your other two children were f*** up’s. You died lonely and scared, of cancer at the age of sixty five and your step parents did not even put a space aside for you at their grave site so you could be buried with them, well quite a life wouldn't you say.

Which brings us here today with some of the truth exposed and all four of us knowing or not knowing just a little bit more about each other and the truth.

WILLIAM STARTS TO STRETCH

I am not saying that I am perfect, because there is no such thing as perfection. I have had my share of f*** up’s and I wouldn’t know where to start

and where to finish.

talking

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13.

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