Buried Alive Page #2

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for you?

- Phil.

- What?

She's talking about having sex,

like, with another person.

- Ha-ha. Very funny.

- Well?

- Garage.

- Listen to this. Phil!

Getting down and dirty

with the 10 weight-30.

- You are such a poet.

- Maybe I'm full of culture.

Is that what you're full of?

Thought it was something else.

Sh*t.

Hey, Zane.

Zane. Zane?

- Yes, Rene?

- There's a question awaiting your reply.

- Bank vault.

- Did you get free checking, too?

- Yes, I did.

- No surprise. Banks like you.

They tolerate me. They like my money.

- Your money?

- Mine when I graduate.

Bank shouldn't worry, because I don't see

that happening any time soon.

- Soon enough, Rene.

- Was it, like, on top of a pile of cash?

Well, actually, Julie, yeah.

- It was.

- Got it.

- Anyone want a beer?

- Yes.

Or Cheesy Poufs. I have some. And

pre-moistened towelettes for your fingers.

- Do you even drink beer, Phil?

- Sure. Sure.

Yeah, just keep them down until we get

on the road, all right? This too.

- What is it?

- The X factor.

- Cool. Could you give me one, please?

- No.

Omega Tau women must be resourceful.

- I could be nice to you.

- All right, give her one.

Danny, I can be even nicer.

Think I need to spend more time

around your sorority house.

No.

Danny, let me get those.

If you can loosen your grip on that laptop,

you may find this worth looking into.

- What is it?

- Something to make you happy to be here.

But I'm already I'm happy I'm here, here.

It's something that'll make us happy

that you're here.

- It'll make you feel good.

- Either way is good, though.

You decide for yourself.

Whoa, that's hardcore.

There you go.

- Holy sh*t.

- Get crazy.

You all right there, buddy?

- The beer went down the wrong pipe.

- Sure.

Let's go!

Let's go!

Oh, sh*t!

Sh*t.

- What happened?

- What did you brake for?

- Did you see something?

- I thought I saw a f***ing...

- What?

- I'm not sure.

Could have been an animal

or maybe a coyote or something.

- There's coyotes out there?

- You're in the desert.

There's all sorts of wildlife out here.

Look around. We already got

a cow and a dog in the car.

- You think there are more animals here?

- Lions and tigers and bears, oh, my.

Yeah, well, we have prairie dogs,

cougars, snakes, some buffalo.

- Buffalo?

- Zane, are you OK to drive?

Yeah. I'm fine.

- Sure about that?

- Yes.

I'm fine.

OK.

- What the hell is this?

- Welcome to Lester's.

- You mean it looks better now?

- A real house and garden.

More like trailer and maniac.

Just don't bring that up in front of him.

He's kind of got a screw loose.

Laura, look!

- What?

- Bunny!

Feel like I could f*** a buffalo.

There's one over there.

Why don't you go introduce yourself?

I will.

- Don't be scared, bunny.

My name's Danny,

and I like quickies in the wide-open plains.

- He's so still.

- I see a rabbit.

Oh, he's so pretty.

Lester's subtle way of saying hello.

- Is he home?

- He's not answering.

But his truck is here.

You know there's a rabbit over there you

can go up to and pet? And it stands so still.

Oh, and it has the cutest pair

of pointy little antlers.

- Who's scarier?

- You are, just for asking that.

What is that?

It's an entrance to an old goldmine.

There's lots of them up in the hills.

- What's in it?

- Gold?

It's kind of noisy for gold.

Jesus Christ, Lester!

What the hell is wrong with you?

I come out here to find strangers

on my property. A man's got a right to yell.

Your property?

What are you doing in the mine?

What's my business.

F***.

Damn. Ruby's good, huh?

- You named it Ruby?

- Yeah.

- After an old girlfriend.

- Well, I think that's sweet.

If you met her, you wouldn't.

Come here.

How'd you like to pet

a real desert coyote, huh?

Yeah.

They don't usually let you get up

this close and personal.

- It's kind of soft.

- Yeah.

Warm.

Smells real clean.

- Creamy-

- Lester.

We've traveled for hours. We'd like to get

up to the house. Could you get the keys?

Your daddy never told me

you were coming.

Well, that's not a surprise,

'cause he doesn't know I'm here.

You grew up cute.

- Maybe I oughta call him.

- Look, Lester.

Unless they built a relay station nearby,

and they didn't,

you know there's no landlines

and no cell phone service.

- I got a short wave.

- I don't even know where you'd call.

Last week, he was in China.

This week, I don't know where he is.

Guess I don't have a lot of choice

on this one, do I?

Thank you, Lester.

- All right, everybody back in the car.

- Bye, Ruby.

Your work has gotten better.

Much more... lifelike.

- Yeah, listen, about the house...

- We won't trash it. I give you my word.

I wouldn't go wandering

around the subcellar and such.

- Why not?

- I think we got some critters living there.

What kind?

Maybe prairie dogs. Could be bobcat.

Could be cougar. You don't wanna

run into one of those face to face.

- Well, why didn't you get them out?

- I'm just trying to give you some advice.

Some advice to try and keep you

and your rich friends safe.

So you can listen, you can not listen.

All right?

Whichever you choose to do,

I don't really give a sh*t.

And what the hell

are you doing up here, anyway?

Rene's got some pledges

she wants to scare,

and I had some time,

so it worked out for both of us.

- Yeah? Maybe I can help.

- What does it mean to you, anyway?

It's just damn odd, you being here, is all.

You need to get into town. Get yourself

some human company for a change.

Maybe I do, maybe I don't.

You do.

You all can think of me what you will,

but I know what I know.

And you'll damn soon wish

that you did, too.

You know how to start a generator,

college boy?

Yes.

You put it on right away. You hit the outside

lights on. After dark, you stay inside. OK?

You understand me?

You don't go outside. You hear that?

Yeah, I hear you, Lester.

And I'm not afraid of the dark.

Then college ain't taught you sh*t,

'cause this cougar out there...

Some are Ruby's family,

probably looking for payback.

So you got a lick of sense,

you'll do like you're told.

You been spending much time

up at that house?

Only when something needs checking on.

So you haven't been up there,

looking for anything.

Sh*t, boy. Look for anything in that house,

all you're gonna find is trouble.

Thanks.

- Hey, who was that guy, man?

- Lester is the caretaker

of sorts, for the house and grounds.

- He lives in that trailer all by himself?

- Who'd wanna live with him?

- Obviously not Ruby.

- Blah, blah.

- Let's party! Who wants another beer?

- Man, I feel good.

Weird. Weird.

- Wow.

- Here we are.

Zane...

- This place rocks!

- I thought it'd be older.

This is fairly new. The original house

was built in the late 1800s.

These stone walls here, it's all that's left

of the original house after the fire.

Hey, I'm gonna go and get the generator

started, all right?

Oh, hey, Phil.

When you get a chance, put the top up.

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