Buried Alive Page #3

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Girls, get our bags onto the front porch,

and then go help Zane.

He'll need a hand bringing wood inside.

What do we say while we work?

We do it great, we do it now,

'cause that's the way of Omega Tau.

- Phil, next time, just say no.

- But I love Cheesy Poufs.

Sh*t.

Jesus f***ing old bastards.

F***in' Lester.

Now we're good there.

F***ing got gas.

What more do you want?

Just do it.

- What the f***?

- Sorry!

Rene said we had to help you

carry wood into the house.

I need to get the back door open,

turn on some lights.

Julie, you can help me inside.

Laura, you can go back and help Rene.

- We'll meet you in front.

- All right.

Come on. I'll show you around.

You scared the sh*t out of me.

All right. Come on in.

This isn't so bad for a haunted house.

Oh, this place definitely has

its creepy spots.

- Here, come on.

- Oh, what about the others?

This will only take a minute.

You're with me. I'll protect you.

- OK.

- Come.

- Are there spiders?

- Only big ones.

Ohh...

- Oh...

- Jeez.

Don't worry about it.

Lester's not the best caretaker.

- You were right. This is really creepy.

- Yeah.

The cellar basically gets used for storage.

But that's not what I was talking about.

- Then what?

- Here.

Come here.

It's my favorite place in the house.

That son of a b*tch.

What is this place?

It's a subcellar. Looks like Lester's

been on a little treasure hunt.

Oh. Well, this gets the creepy prize.

Let's go.

Hang on just a second.

Come on.

I wanna show you something.

- Creepier than this?

Definitely not. Come on.

- Come on.

- Go.

So, what did you wanna show me?

- What is it?

- It's an old Victorian divan.

Gramps bought it from one of

the local brothels way back when.

It definitely has a very colorful history.

And?

And... seems like a good opportunity

for us to keep a noble tradition alive.

Bring history to life, so to speak.

The others are waiting for us.

They can wait a little longer. Frankly, I think

it's more comfortable than a staircase.

Still feeling warm?

Hot.

- You won't tell Rene, will you?

- Oh.

She won't hear about it from me.

- You know something?

- What?

I am never gonna look at a steak

the same way again.

The property's about 10,000 acres.

It's a good portion of the county.

You don't own any of it?

Zane's side of the family

got pretty much everything.

Your great-grandfather had a rich strike.

And the stories of his wife buried alive?

How do you know so much

about my family?

- Um, I, uh... Zane told me.

- You wouldn't be lying to me, would you?

Uh, no. Uh, no.

Laura, where's my cousin?

He sent me back

and asked Julie to help him inside.

- Help him with what?

- I can't imagine.

I can.

What took so long, cow?

Trying to open doors with these hoofs

takes time. Sorry.

- Where's my cousin?

- He's getting wood for the fireplace.

I thought you were helping him

with the wood.

I did.

Just bring the bags inside.

- You weren't kidding.

- Told you.

This place is extraordinary.

- Oh, it's beautiful.

- This one of your relatives?

- Not that I'm aware of.

- Really gorgeous.

There's a strange feel to this place.

Like we're being watched.

We are.

F***!

Ha-ha-ha!

Hey, you're funny. What are you,

f***ing ten? What are you doing here?

I wasn't sure if the generator had any gas

or not, so I brought some up.

Well, thanks.

I don't want it quitting on you

in the middle of the night.

- I'm sure you're right.

- Sure as sh*t I'm right.

You ain't seen dark till you've been

in the desert at night.

- There's things to be feared of in the dark.

- Yeah.

How did all those holes get

in the subcellar?

Gophers most likely.

I mean, I told you I believe...

that there's critters living down there.

Gophers up here use shovels, huh?

'Cause I'm thinking it was a weasel.

Well, you best be careful, 'cause you never

can tell which critters are real dangerous.

Thanks for the warning.

- And gas.

- It's what I'm here for, college boy.

Gets mighty cold up here.

Best keep that fireplace full.

I'm sure someone with a BA, MA, XYZ

can figure out how to make little logs

out of big ones.

Try not to hurt yourself.

Creepy-ass f***.

- 33.

- 34.

- 34.

- Biceps. What is so funny?

It's not funny. In Spanish.

- Phil, can I see your computer?

- Why?

- Show me your computer.

- Were you looking for something?

Girls, come here.

I think you've been less than honest

with me.

- Wh-wh-what do you mean, mean?

- I think you're holding out on me.

These girls really wanna be in my sorority,

and they will do whatever I tell them to.

So unless you start talking...

Hey.

- What are you doing?

- Don't say anything, Phil.

You stand your ground.

You show her who's boss.

How do you know

so much about my family?

- Zane told me stuff...

- More.

- Zane, Zane! Help, help!

- I'm sorry, Phil. She never listens to me.

- Don't make this any worse for yourself.

- No, but I didn't do...

- Now.

I checked out some stories on the Internet

about your family.

- Why?

- Zane asked me to find out about the gold.

- Oh, really?

- Yes, yes. I'll show you.

Let him go.

- You little p*ssy.

- Show me what you found.

I can't get online here,

but this is what I downloaded.

This is about your great-grandfather

finding gold, then building the home.

This one tells about his new mail-order

bride arriving from South Dakota.

It mentions the first wife' disappearance

and rumors about how she...

This one describes how the house burned

down and everyone except one boy died.

All the male victims had severe gashes

over their bodies.

So, somebody chopped up three

of the four kids and your great-grandfather.

What happened to the wife?

Man, every family has its skeletons.

That one story implies that it wasn't your

great-grandfather that discovered the gold.

- It was his first wife, wife.

- How could she have discovered it?

I think it said that her people, her tribe,

knew the land and knew about the gold,

and I guess she told him, and they say

that the first wife was buried alive.

Buried alive? Buried alive!

Wait. How could anybody have

possibly known that?

I mean, did she come back

and tell people about it?

"Hey, I was buried alive,

and I'm not that happy about it."

- I wouldn't be happy about it.

- Mm-hmm.

Neither would I, Julie.

It seems like somebody's holding

a pretty strong grudge against your family.

- Could be risky, being here.

- Hey, man.

Every day that you live, you're at risk.

That is so f***ing true.

I'm going outside, see if I can get a signal.

And maybe you'll hit a stray satellite.

Good luck.

- I'd like to take a shower.

- Me too.

You girls can use the bedroom

at the top of the stairs.

There's a bathroom connected.

Should be towels under the sink.

- Me first.

- The dog first.

Pledge, serve us.

- What do you want?

- Bring us all beers.

Stop.

You must serve us

as if you were a robot. Go.

At least we're not being juvenile.

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