Burke And Hare Page #3

Oh, I hate that man.

Doctors, professors, gentlemen,

please take your seats.

Your attention, gentlemen.

His Majesty will be in residence

at Holyrood Palace in eight weeks' time.

The King has decided that,

in his wisdom,

he will create a competition to further

the progress of medical science.

Accordingly, His Majesty

has decided that during his visit,

he will listen to presentations

from Scotland's leading physicians.

Whomsoever he determines

has made the greatest advances

in the field of medicine,

will be awarded the Royal Seal

and a handsome monetary reward.

Mmm!

This honour will confer immeasurable

economic and social status on Edinburgh,

on Scotland,

on the medical profession,

and, of course, on its recipient.

I thank you, and goodnight.

Lord Harrington, I just--

Yes, I know.

I played Agnes in Molire's

"School For Wives"

at the Garrick Theatre in London.

And after that, times got tough,

and I branched out into...

physical theatre.

-- Ah, like acrobatics?

-- Sometimes.

Then I became a dancer and a showgirl,

and now I'm trying to produce

my first play.

--Sounds very exciting.

-- It is.

I just need to put together

a consortium of investors.

Anyway enough about me.

Let's talk more about you.

What do you do for a living?

Er, I'm in surgical supplies.

Sorry to interrupt, Willy but, eh,

we should be heading home.

-- Got an early start.

-- It was lovely to meet you, Mr. Burke.

-- Well, can I see you again?

-- Oh, I'd like that.

-- How about Friday night?

-- I'll meet you here at 7:00.

Goodnight, miss.

Come along, Willy.

-- Goodnight.

-- Goodnight.

I'll not explain myself again.

Mr. Wordsworth is already in the club.

That cannot be.

I am he.

Newly returned from my tour

ofthe continent.

And I am Samuel Coleridge.

Aye. And I'm Robbie f*** in' Burns!

Now piss off, the both ofyouse!

Strange and peculiar gentleman.

I never realised there was so much

to know about the human foot.

Doctor Knox? Will you be presenting

to the committee?

I will, my Lord.

And I believe I shall prevail

in His Majesty's competition.

And how will you do that,

Doctor Knox?

I'm creating a complete map

ofthe human body,

both inside and out.

If such a thing were possible,

it would constitute the greatest

medical advance since Vesalius.

It is also impossible.

Such a map would be entirely useless

unless it was 100 % accurate.

And no artist can guarantee that.

No illustrator or painter, I agree.

So how on earth

do you propose to achieve it?

You shall see, Professor,

in the fullness of time.

My Lord.

Come, Patterson.

Vous tes prt?

Aye, ready.

-- Bon.

-- Excuse me, sir.

Uh, Patterson?

Patterson?

Un, deux, trois, quatre, cinq,

six, sept, huit, neuf.

Patterson?

Voil.

Merc.

Ah! Merde.

Ah!

Voil.

Excellent.

It is an heliographic,

a device

to capture the image forever.

An heliographic?

Oui.

We shall have to come up

with something better than that.

That was a great night.

Best night of my life.

It was a different world.

A world up high where the air

is balmy and any thing's possible.

That's where we belong, Willy.

You know, we should probably keep

this run of good fortune to ourselves.

Just till Lucky straightens herself out.

Not a problem, William.

Besides, for us to come across

any more ofthose unfortunates,

we'd need the devil's own luck.

That's where you're wrong, Willy.

Men like us make our own luck.

What do you mean?

Have you gone mad?

No, Willy.

We've gone into business.

That doesn't give us the right

to determine another man's fate.

Man is gonna die from the moment

he leaves his mother's womb.

Their fate's already been determined.

All we'd be doing is...

helping them along a bit.

You know...

you look very elegant

in that new suit.

Fine tailoring becomes you.

Ifyou think you're gonna convince me

like that, you're wrong.

I don't care about clothes.

No, but you care about women,

right?

And a fine one costs an arm and a leg,

at the very least.

And that Miss Ginny,

she's a very fine one indeed.

Beautiful.

Talented.

-- Not to mention a fine pair--

-- All right, you've made your point.

But not like this.

There's a place in the Old Town

that'll suit us fine.

Madam...

I-I-I-I'll...

take the high road...

Right.

The next one we just stab

in the heart with a knife.

No!

And I will be in Scotland afore ye!

Look, I have another idea.

Yah!

Yah!

I say, coachman!

Can't this bloody thing go faster?!

Yah!

They're coming!

Faster, Willy, faster!

Faster!

Yah! Yah!

Come on, Willy.

Put your back into it.

Yah! Yah!

Aaaah!

F*** me.

I'm telling you, Willy,

it'll be over in a flash.

And I'm telling you

I don't like this one bit.

And I am confident

that this is the only way.

You know, William,

I had confidence in a fart once

and I shat all over myself.

When a body meets a body

comin' through the rye

When a body meets a body,

a body cry?

Who's there?

Is anybody there?!

Agh! Ah!

D'you have a light?

Agh! Ah!

Are you--

are you all right?

This man's untimely

and premature death...

was, as should be fairly obvious

to all of you,

the direct result of gluttony!

I cooked your favourite.

Arbroath smokie and champ it tat tie.

That's lovely.

Thank you.

I'm not stupid, William.

Three dead bodies

and a pocket full of money?

Doesn't take a genius to work out

what the pair of you have been up to.

I think it's the best bloody idea

you've ever had.

One condition--

I want a pound for every body you sell.

A pound?

-- Man starts getting fancy clothes...

also starts getting fancy ideas.

Just think of it as a tax between

a man and a wife.

A kind of nuptial agreement,

if you will.

You may be named Lucky,

but I'm the lucky one, my darlin'.

I'm not listening to you.

I'm watching you.

I'm watching you.

Oh, champagne!

I am impressed, William.

That must have set you back

a pretty penny.

Well--thank you.

-- To good news.

-- To good news.

-- Mmm.

-- What good news?

I have decided to finance your play.

No!

Mr. Burke!

Who's that over there

with Ginny Hawkins?

-- That's Willy Burke.

-- Who?

Regular at The Gravediggers.

Always in the company of William Hare.

They're drinking champagne.

Find out what his racket is.

May I ask what persuaded you

to be so bold

as to invest in an all-female production

ofthe Scottish play?

You have an incredible talent,

Ginny.

I saw that the night we met.

A talent like that is a gift from God.

To see it go to waste over something

as trivial as money,

that'd be a travesty.

I had no idea you were so passionate

about the theatre, Mr. Burke.

Not the theatre, Ginny.

You.

Thank you for a lovely evening,

Mr. Burke.

Uh, William, please.

Oh, sorry. Um...

When will I be able to see you again,

Ginny?

At the Lyceum Theatre.

Really? When?

When we put down the deposit.

Goodnight, William.

I need to make more money.

Fast.

Don't tell me she charged you

for the night.

She is an actress, not a whore.

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