Burlesque Page #2

- God.

- Can I use this?

Goddamn it! Don't touch my stuff!

Hey, waitress!

Sweetheart? Hey, over here.

One second.

Yo!

- Ladies?

- I'll have a vodka.

What can I get you?

One shot of Patrn...

...and tough guy with the hat

over there, he wants a Cosmo.

- What are you doing?

- One night.

If I'm not 20 times better

than b*obs-for-brains,

you don't have to pay me.

A kiss on the hand may be

quite continental

But diamonds

are a girl's best friend

A kiss may be grand-

Isn't that the girl that was

backstage just a moment?

I think so.

Hey, Jack, what's she doing here?

She really wanted a job.

And so she is our new waitress.

And when did I make you

Head of Personnel?

She just picked up a tray,

started working.

- Really?

- Well, her name is Ali.

Ali.

Hey, Ali.

Look, this is cute, but come on.

Push up those b*obs.

Got them, show them. Work them.

And don't ever

go behind my back again.

- Yes, ma'am.

- And don't ever call me ma'am again.

- Yes, sir. I mean ma'am. I mean Tess.

- Get on the floor.

"Ma'am"?

What am I, my mother?

Yes, ma'am.

Up yours.

Tiffany's

Cartier

Black Starr! Frost Gorham!

Talk to me, Harry Winston,

tell me all about it

Excuse me.

Dewar's rocks and a bottle of

your best champagne for the table.

Oh, and will you tell Nikki

that I'm here?

And you are...?

A member since '91.

Marcus Gerber. And you are?

- Ali.

- Ali.

I'm here.

You're late, you're late

for a very important date.

Georgia went on for you.

What is that waitress doing here?

I want that b*tch out now.

What did she ever do to you?

She told me I look like a drag queen.

That can't be the first time

that's happened.

Get my spot.

Nikki, what are you doing?

I've heard of affairs that

are strictly platonic

But diamonds are a girl's best friend

I've heard of affairs that you

must keep liaisonic

Are better bets

If little pets get big baguettes

Time rolls on, and youth is gone

And you can't straighten up

when you bend

But stiff back or stiff knees

You stand straight at Tiffany's

Diamonds! Diamonds!

I don't mean rhinestones!

But diamonds are a girl's best,

best friend.

Hey!

Ali. Ali.

Ali. Ali. What do you need?

Dewar's rocks, bottle of Dom-

And keep it coming.

Yep. So he's a regular, huh?

Marcus Gerber, real estate guy.

Dating Nikki. This week at least.

I wanna be up there. I wanna do that.

Question is...

- ... do you have the talent?

- I do.

- Are you sure?

- Yes.

- Positive?

- Yeah.

Good, because you're on.

I got a dentist

Who's over seven feet tall

Ooh, I've got a dentist, baby

The man is over seven feet tall

His name is Dr. Long John

And he answers

Every call

You know, I went to Long John...

It's simple.

I assume all

your financial obligations...

...buy you out...

...pay you a million

right off the top.

Five hundred each.

Where is the partnership that-? You

said there was gonna be a partnership.

How about a partnership?

Partnerships don't really

work so well with me.

- And that deal is-

- Very generous.

Good. Because I leave with

my final offer.

You know, not that I give a sh*t,

but why is it

that you want my club so badly?

I like it.

When I see something I like,

I have to have it.

Been that way since I was a kid.

That must have made you

very popular in the sandbox.

I did okay.

Do you know what you could

do with that money, Tess?

Do you know what you could

do with that money, Vince?

- Not now.

- Don't "not now" me.

The way I see it...

...you're in a fix

and I'm in a position to help.

We play this thing right,

and we all come out winners.

Yeah.

Remember, you got that balloon

payment due on the first.

Did you also tell him

I have a tattoo on my ass?

No. It's business.

I don't think you're gonna get

another opportunity like this.

So take it.

- No.

- She means not now.

No, no.

"Not now" means not now, Vince.

No means no.

Marcus, I don't care what

you're offering.

My club is not for sale.

Well, offer's on the table.

Thanks.

See you in the sandbox.

When he got done drilin' he said,

Ooh baby, that is gonna cost you

Ten

But if it ever starts in to throbbing

Come back and see old Long John

Again and again and again and

again and again

Oh, yeah.

Wendy! Do you have my makeup?

Drinks, ladies.

All right, white wine.

Tom Collins.

Which one of this is Nikki's?

- Both.

- Sh*t.

That was my shot.

Here's mud in your eye, Nik.

All right. Now I got a buzz,

and you gotta change. You're on.

What are you, my mother?

In case you haven't noticed,

Vince was talking to Marcus Gerber.

Yeah! Well, that's because Marcus

is trying to buy my club.

Mother of God.

Tess? Probably not a good time.

I know you're real busy

and I don't mean to interrupt

you or anything like that.

Hey! Did anybody talk to Dave about

the new vocals?

Ha, that's what just I've been

thinking about... vocals.

- All the girls lip-synch, right?

- Except for Tess.

Of course except for Tess.

But wouldn't it be great if we

actually heard the girls sing?

No. It wouldn't be great.

Honey.

People come here

to watch the dancers dance...

...and to watch them lip-synch

to the great singers.

Okay! I hear you. I get it.

I really think, thinking

of ways just to make it better.

And I just don't understand why

we can't just try something different.

You know why you don't understand.

Because it's above your pay grade.

I don't really get what that means.

- Just hear me out one more time.

- No! No...

- This is a really good idea and-

- Ali, Ali, no- No. No. No.

Stop. Take her and remove her.

Okay, let's go. Come on, let's go.

I'm sure they need you back on

the floor, but thanks for visiting us.

All right.

Oh, this is not for anybody.

You look so beautiful right now.

I can't even tell you...

And you are so full of sh*t.

Goddamn it!

Ali?

You can just have a seat.

I'm gonna grab us both

a drink, yeah?

Oh, and here.

Call whoever you want.

Long distance, whatever.

- I can't.

- What do you mean?

I don't have anyone.

No parents or siblings,

aunts, uncles, anyone?

No one.

So you're not here to use my phone.

No, no, stop. Stop, please.

It's gonna be all right.

You can crash here.

Just please, please, stop crying.

Okay. Okay.

I'll take that.

Better?

Good.

Just one night.

Till it's light out and I can figure

out my next move.

Deal.

That's beautiful.

Who wrote that?

I did.

You wrote that?

Jack, that's... That's really good.

Thank you.

- You have more?

- Yeah.

Nothing that's ready to be heard.

Hey, Jack...

...why did you leave Kentucky?

Why did you leave Iowa?

Because I looked around

and realized...

...there wasn't one person

whose life I wanted.

Exactly.

Hey, Jack.

I'm really glad I don't have to

be alone tonight.

Get some sleep.

Morning.

- Coffee?

- Black.

Like my soul.

I took the liberty

of making breakfast.

I hope you don't mind.

It's the least I could do.

Smells great.

She's pretty. Your sister?

- Fiance.

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