Burlesque Page #3

- You're straight?

- You thought I was gay?

- Yeah.

- Wait, why?

- I don't know.

The day bed, the eyeliner.

It's a very straight look.

You know, it works at the club,

Tess loves it-

Okay.

I should put on some pants.

Probably.

So where is she, this fiance?

She's in New York doing a play.

Now that you're straight

and engaged...

...I feel really weird I came here

in the first place.

I'm all right.

- I'll be out of your hair in no time.

- Really, you don't have to leave.

- Don't worry about me.

- I mean, it's pouring outside.

I got a plan.

If you could just get the door for me.

Thank you.

- You're welcome.

- See you at the club.

Ali! What are you doing?

Come back inside!

No, Jack, I'm fine.

It's pouring.

It's just water, for chrissake.

Damn it.

Get your ass back in my house.

You've done enough.

Just leave it alone. I'm fine.

All right, all right, fine.

Here we go.

Put me down.

What are you doing over me?

You have nowhere to go

and I have a couch.

Like it or not, you're gonna stayed

here for a few more days.

Hey, Natalie.

Really? That's great.

Georgia?

Yeah.

Oh, God, please don't have the flu.

Oh, God.

Please have the flu.

Why do they call it morning

sickness...

...if it hits you at every fricking

moment of the day?

Have you told Damon yet?

No, not yet.

Well, sweetheart, you know,

at some point he's going to notice.

He's a guy.

He's not gonna notice

until my belly's blocking the TV.

Well, what are you gonna do?

I don't know, Tess. I'm really scared.

Oh, honey, don't be scared.

Whatever you decide,

we will take care of you. Okay?

But you've got to tell Damon.

I figured as long as he doesn't know-

...I can still pretend he's gonna be

excited about it.

He's gonna be thrilled.

Are you kidding? He'll be thrilled.

Excellent. That was great.

Thank you very much, ladies.

What happened to

all the great dancers in L.A.?

They're all dancing with the stars.

Call Andre and ask him.

He might have somebody.

Okay.

Don't like her, I don't like her.

I don't love any of them.

She's the best one.

What is that?

What is she doing?

I think she's auditioning.

Hey, Dave, cut it!

Hold on a second, I can do this.

And I think that it's sweet

that you think you can.

Just tell me what you're

looking for. I...

I'm looking for someone who

can do the routine.

Excuse me? I'm talking to you!

Oh, sh*t.

Just tell me what you want.

I can't tell you.

Nobody can tell you.

You gotta make me believe

that you belong up there.

That you own that stage and that

nobody's gonna take it from you.

That's the way it works.

You wanna show me something,

show me that.

All right.

Which number do you wanna see?

I know every single one of them.

- You know every single number?

- Which one do you wanna see?

"Wagon Wheel Watusi."

What's going on?

Well, I couldn't keep my eyes off her.

Try harder.

You know,

you were off the whole last half.

Come on, Tess. Come on, I'll practice

till I bleed. I know I can do this.

You know, we have better dancers.

Well, then say thank you very much

and goodbye.

If you just give me a chance.

I swear to God I won't disappoint you.

Didn't anybody ever give you

a shot in like, please...

Please, I want this so bad.

- If you just give me a chance, I'd-

- All right. God!

You got the job.

What are you so excited about?

She's your replacement.

Thank you, Tess. You won't regret it.

I am so gonna regret this.

What is Ali short for?

- Alice.

- Alice?

Well, welcome to Wonderland.

Meet me upstairs in five.

Well, sorry for the short notice...

...but I quit.

It's okay.

And with my new raise,

I will be off your couch in no time.

Here we go.

Black corset, first number.

Second number, "Wagon Wheel,"

that's that.

Swarovski bustier,

that's for the third number.

And this is for "Miss Otis Regrets."

And remember, with that, don't...

...pull the trigger.

Zephyr in the sky at night I wonder

Do my tears of mourning sink

beneath the sun

She's got herself a universe

gone quickly

For the call of thunder

threatens everyone

And I feel like I just got home

And I feel

And I feel like I just got home

And I feel

You like her, admit it. I know it

kills you, but you have to admit it.

No. You know, she pulls focus,

she doesn't blend in.

A girl that doesn't blend in?

Oh, my.

That is so beneath you.

Here we go, here we go.

Don't lose those again, okay.

How you doing?

My b*obs are pushed up to my ears,

my thong's a mile up my butt...

...and my eyelashes are so thick

they could kick up a stiff wind.

Fun being a girl, isn't it?

Come on, let's go, let's go.

- You guys wanna go grab pizza?

- Yes, please.

- Yeah.

- I'm starving.

Good, let's go.

My day was so long.

Ice cream sounds so good.

That's so bad.

- I'm gonna get so full tonight.

- What?

Where is everybody?

They went out for pizza.

I wasn't hungry.

That brush isn't working cause

it's too old.

Well, it's the only brush I have.

I'll let you use mine.

- Here.

- Thanks.

All right, here. Let me help you.

First of all, you gotta wet it if

you're gonna get a clean line.

Close your eyes.

When you are putting on

your makeup...

...it's like you're an artist.

But instead of painting

on a canvas...

...you're painting your face.

My mom was a model

and she was beautiful.

Tall, blond.

Not like me.

Body that could stop a truck.

And she had these girlfriends,

beautiful girls, Colleen and Shirley-

...and they would come over

in the morning...

...and they would all put

their makeup on together

before they went on jobs. Up.

We had a big window in the back

of our house with a ledge on it,

...and they would put their

mirrors side by side by side,

and put out their makeup.

They had lipsticks and blushes,

and it was fabulous.

And I kept thinking, "My God,

I cannot wait till I get old

enough to play with this junk."

Didn't you ever watch your mom

put on her makeup?

My mom died when I was 7...

...and it's my first lesson.

You know,

you won't be the new girl forever.

Beautiful.

Sh*t.

Ali.

Ali. Did you use my towel again?

I found it soaking wet and

on the floor.

- I don't know. Maybe.

- How's that apartment hunt coming?

I've been looking.

Everything's over 1000 bucks a month.

How can you put a price

on privacy like that? Freedom?

Your own bathroom?

Your own clean towels?

Hey Jack! I get it.

It's Natalie.

Hey, babe.

Oh, hey. What about Beachwood Canyon?

Great.

If you have a car.

I mean, truth is...

...you really should get a car first.

I mean, this is L.A. after all.

You know?

I'll tell you what.

I'm gonna suck it up...

I'm gonna let you stay

a little bit longer.

Just throw in a little something

for rent, we're good.

A second ago you

wanted me out of here.

I really don't like

my towel being wet.

I don't like the lack of privacy...

...but you're in a jam.

And I'm the kind of guy...

...when a friend is in trouble,

I help.

It's just who I am.

What did Natalie have to say?

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