Cabaret Page #3

-Good afternoon.

-How nice to see you again.

-lt's nice to see you again.

lt is good, you have others.

So, we shall make a party

for speaking English, yes?

Well, actually, my friends

were just leaving.

No, l'm delighted to stay, Brian.

Sally, you have this appointment,

don't you?

l'll cancel it. l love parties.

Good, this is splendid for the practicing.

You will introduce me, please.

Yes, of course.

Herr Wendel, Fraulein Landauer.

-lt is a pleasure, miss.

-No, no, English conversation.

l am so charmed, dearest miss.

And...and this...

...this is Miss Sally Bowles.

How do you do?

Bobby, a Landauer in my house.

Last summer when l....

You are all healthy, l hope.

l have had a cold, but it is better now.

Good.

How sad.

A cold from the nose is most aggravating.

This was a cold of the bosom,

not of the nose.

All the plegm vas here.

All the what?

Ze plegm...zat comes in the tubes.

l think l'm gonna be sick.

Phlegm. ''Ph'' is always pronounced

as ''f'', and...

...you don't sound...the ''g.''

Then why are they putting the ''g'',

please?

That's a very good question, but...

...it's rather difficult to explain.

Try, Brian.

lt's just there.

So, Mr. Professor, you do not know?

No.

Then l'm sorry, l cannot help you.

lt's most amusing.

Very amusing.

Come in.

How thoughtful of you,

Fraulein Schneider.

Thank you very much.

You're most welcome, Herr Roberts.

Please.

Please, you must take a cake,

dearest miss.

l'm not eating between meals.

You're not eating between meals.

l am eating between meals.

Thank you.

So much.

You're welcome.

Brian, Liebling, did l tell you?

l saw a film the other day about syphilis.

lt was too awful.

l couldn't let a man touch me for a week.

Coffee?

ls it true you can get it from kissing?

Oh, yes.

And your king, Henry Vlll...

...caught it from letting Cardinal Wolsey

whisper in his ear.

That is not, l think, founded in fact.

But from kissing, most decidedly.

And from towels...and from cups.

And, of course, screwing.

''Screwing,'' please?

Fornication.

Fornication?

Brian, darling, what is the German word?

l don't remember.

-Oh, yes....

-Oh, no.

Bumsen.

lt would be the one German word

you pronounce perfectly.

Well, l ought to.

l spent the entire afternoon bumsening...

...like mad with

some ghastly old producer...

...who promised to give me a contract.

Gin, Miss Landauer?

Fritz is overdoing it a bit, isn't he?

Natalia's very rich. Fritz is very broke.

That old heel-clicking,

hand-kissing routine of his...

...isn't going to get him

anywhere with her.

The only thing to do with virgins

is to make a ferocious pounce.

l can't imagine anyone

pouncing on Natalia.

That's why it would be

so effective, darling.

You are a woman

of many sexual experiences, l think.

l'll say, darling. Ever since l was so high,

men have found me irresistible.

-Daddy was always worrying that....

-Yes?

You know.

How's the gigolo campaign going?

Terrible.

This week, already l'm giving up

three dinner invitations...

...to spend 32 marks on her.

That's quite a sacrifice.

And here is the craziness.

l like it.

Goddammit!

What?

l think l'm falling in love with her.

l'm so sorry.

So am l.

You assure me the English reader

will find this...

...arousing...stimulating?

Well, l....

Yes, l...l should think so.

Look, everybody.

Positively a nun's hands, aren't they?

-You look lovely, Sally.

-Just lovely.

Thank you. Well, l'm off to the Adlon...

...to see my sexy...

...marvelous, devastating father.

-Auf wiedersehen, my darlings.

-Auf wiedersehen.

Good luck.

l'm terribly sorry, but l couldn't

possibly find any more of them.

Good night, and thank you so much

for a delightful evening.

You're most welcome, Herr Roberts.

-Good night.

-Good night.

lt really has been...sublime.

Thank you.

Dearest miss.

You see how she is with me?

You see that kiss? You see that kiss?

No, l...l was too discreet to look back.

l think l go...

l go crazy with the frustration.

You know, l...l kiss and inside me

comes the explosion. But her?

Brian, l tell you a simple fact...

-...and l'm not boosting.

-''Boasting.''

The French women, the Swedish women,

even the English...

...they go wild for my kisses, but...

...this one....

Nothing?

Nothing.

And l'm a crazy, love-sick fool.

Sally says you ought to pounce.

Pounce?

Throw her on a couch or something.

To attack Natalia?

lmpossible.

Well, Sally is rather knowledgeable

in these areas.

You do what Sally says and you end up,

l think, in the prison cell.

-Pounce, huh?

-Pounce.

How'd it go?

Bad?

Sally, what is it?

l waited at the Adlon till 10:00.

When l got back, there was this.

''Dear Sally:

''Sorry, schedule revised at last minute.

''Writing. Love.''

Well, these...these things do happen.

l'm sure he had a good reason.

Ten words. Exactly.

After ten it's extra.

You see, Daddy thinks of these things.

lf l had leprosy, there'd be a cable.

''Gee, kid, tough.

''Sincerely hope...nose doesn't fall off.

''Love.''

Bastard!

l'll show him!

l'll become a big film star.

The poor man, he tries to love me.

Perhaps he even thinks he does...

...but the real truth...

...is that he just doesn't care.

Maybe he's right.

Maybe l'm not worth caring about.

Maybe l am...just nothing. Nothing.

You're a perfectly marvelous girl.

-And beautiful.

-No.

-And talented.

-No, l'm not.

Yes, you are.

Do you really think so?

l mean really?

Yes, l do.

Thank you.

''Maybe this time, l'll be lucky

''Maybe this time, he'll stay.''

Obviously those three girls...

...were just the wrong three girls.

''Maybe this time, for the first time

''Love won't hurry away.''

Doesn't my body

drive you wild with desire?

''He will hold me fast

''l'll be home at last

''Not a loser anymore

''Like the last time

And the time before.

''Everybody loves a winner

''So nobody loves me.

''Lady peaceful,

Lady happy

''That's what l long to be.

''Well, all the odds are

They're in my favor

''Something's bound to begin.

''lt's gotta happen,

Happen sometime

''Maybe this time, l'll win.

''Cause everybody, they love a winner

''So nobody loves me.

''Lady peaceful,

Lady happy

''That's what l long to be.

''Well, all the odds are

They're in my favor

''Something's bound to begin.

''lt's gotta happen,

Happen sometime

''Maybe this time

''Maybe this time, l'll win.''

Hey, what's going on?

Tell him your lover

is a gangster from Chicago.

-You told him?

-l did better than that.

l just told him that l had

the teeniest touch of syphilis.

Wait till he gets a load

of what little old Elke's got.

-Landauer?

-Ja.

l am grateful to you

that you came to me from my call.

Don't be silly. l'm all agog.

Thank you.

-You will eat food, please?

-Thank you.

-You see, Fraulein....

-Sally.

Our acquaintance is not long,

but l am choosing you...

...because l know

no other young woman...

...who is giving her body

frequently to men.

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