Cabin Fever 2: Spring Fever Page #2

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but anybody that

would do that to you

is a fool, in my opinion.

I mean, if he didn't realize

how lucky he was,

then he's, like,

the stupidest guy on earth.

Really?

Really.

Wait wait.

Wait.

What's wrong?

Nothing.

Nothing.

Oh, ow!

- Ow!

- Sorry, it's the braces.

It's cool.

Uh, hey.

Hey, uh...

So what's the deal?

We gonna go to prom together or-

Is that cool?

No.

OH, well, I just-

I just assumed...

Look, kid,

you're real nice

and sweet and everything.

But this wasn't about

you and me, okay?

This was about revenge.

Re- revenge.

Yeah.

Besides, I work

for a living.

Wha-

Would you- would you please

go to prom with me? I mean-

If I can get one of the other

girls to cover my shift,

maybe I'll meet you there.

How's that?

Yeah. Yeah yeah.

That's awesome.

That- I mean, that actually

works better for me

in the long run.

That's cool. Okay.

I will see you- prom.

See you there.

Good afternoon,

Jonathan.

Hey.

Daryl, Dane.

We heard about you

getting your butt kicked.

Heard you cried like

a little p*ssy.

Yeah, that's not

exactly what happened.

That's not how we

were informed.

Yeah, Alex said that

your little-

So is it now safe

to assume

that you will be coming over

tonight after all?

Uh, I don't know, you guys.

It's prom night.

News flash, John-

prom blows.

How you gonna pass up

'Bride of the Cannibals 2:

The Director's Cut'

for a gay dance?

It's the most insane sequel ever made;

it's banned in over 26 countries.

Can you even begin to

comprehend that awesomeness?

Yeah, we heard there's

this one part

where the broad with the piranha

teeth bites the guy's dick and balls.

John, you see it

in a close-up.

That does sound good.

Yeah.

But I'm still not sure

what I'm doing tonight.

What do you mean you don't

know what you're doing?

Prom's in, like,

five hours.

Who are you gonna ask

at this point, your mother?

If Mom would let me go

to the dance,

I'd be f***ing so much

p*ssy tonight.

- Hey, John.

- Hey, Cassie.

Hey, do you want to

walk with me?

Yeah, sure.

Yeah?

I'll catch you guys later.

Cool?

Oh my God,

those two are so funny.

- D8D?

- Yeah.

Oh my God, I heard Dane

scored 1500 on his SATs.

- 1550.

- What?

- Yeah.

- No way. How old is that kid?

- Like 12.

- Oh my God.

Yeah, but I think he's

living proof

that you can be smart

and stupid at the same time.

You should see when he

and Alex get together.

Oh, Alex- I haven't talked

to him in, like, forever.

It's so weird.

How is he?

He's good, you know?

- He's still Alex.

- Yeah?

Yeah, I think we're gonna

go over to their house later

and watch some movies

or something.

Okay. So you're not

going to prom?

Nah.

Yeah, me neither.

Well, you'll probably

be disappearing

to some amazing medical

school soon, right?

I did get into Adams.

- You got into Adams?

- Yeah.

- Oh my God, why didn't you tell me?

- I'm telling you now.

Well, congratulations. That's awesome.

That's what you wanted.

Yeah, I guess it is.

- Wow.

- Thanks.

So how are you doing?

- What?

- Everything.

I don't know.

I mean, it's okay. I don't know.

I'm fine, I don't know.

Like, relationships are hard.

What can you do?

Yackety schmakety.

It was the right

decision, though.

- Yeah?

- Yeah.

You know, you're probably

the only person I know

who's actually going to do

something with their life.

- Oh, come on, that's not true.

- No, it's true.

Seriously, like, I have no

clue what I'm gonna do.

Nobody does, you know?

Oh my God, everybody's going

to be so super jealous

when you come back to town

and you're this really famous doctor

and they're all a bunch of fat

townies with ugly babies.

I'm serious. Like, even Marc was

jealous of you, you know that?

Come on, Cassie,

all these compliments you're paying me

are making me

a little uncomfortable.

Well, you know, today's the only day

you're gonna get 'em, so enjoy.

Cassie, Mom's looking for you!

- Okay.

- I guess you better get going, huh?

Yeah. Well, it was

nice talking to you, John.

- Yeah. Yeah, you too.

- Bye.

Hey, Cassie, wait up!

Hey, do you want to

go to prom with me?

Look, I know you've been through a lot-

things are a mess...

but it's prom,

you know?

I don't know, it's the last

few weeks of high school,

and I just figure it'd be the kind of

thing that we'd regret not having done.

Look, I really

want to go.

And you're the only person

I could see myself going with.

So how about it?

I can't, John.

I'm sorry.

Look, if you're worried about

me getting beat up or anything,

- don't worry about it.

- No, I'm not worried about that.

Like, l- it's just like my brother's sick

and I've got all this stuff to do.

And it's just, like,

I don't know.

It's just too much,

you know?

- I understand.

- Yeah?

- Yeah, it's all right.

- Well, call me later.

- Bye.

- Bye.

'Bride of the Cannibals'

it is.

Stupid.

Here's your pancakes,

sweetie.

Oh, Lucille.

I've been dreaming about

your pancakes all day.

I know, baby.

That's what all

the young boys say.

Oh, what the f***, man?

Bill! Bill!

- Jesus.

- Okay, Bill!

Deliver us from

all of this evilness!

Full of the devil!

I know you did it!

Bill, you gotta

breathe.

Breathe. Breathe.

In the name of all that is holy,

oh, hallelujah, Lord.

God, deliver us from

these evil evil people!

Oh! Oh my God!

Bill, you're in trouble!

Oh! Bill!

The ambulance

will be right here.

Bill, I know where

you come from, Bill.

I know you're-

come on, Bill! Oh!

Hallelujah! Hallelujah!

Sh*t.

This is bad news.

This is real bad news.

Yeah?

I hope you're dressed.

I have got big news.

The entire team is going

to the prom after all.

Oh, so there's an 'I'

in team now?

John, don't try to be funny.

You're not good at it.

You're just not good at it.

Hey, don't hang up.

I didn't mean that.

No no no no no no.

John? John?

- Spit it out.

- Funny you should say that actually.

All you need to know is

that I have a date for prom.

You need to get your ass

out of f***ing bed,

get on a suit and tie,

and that's it.

You know, after listening to you

rag on prom for the last week,

I think I finally

came around.

Prom blows.

That was a lot of rings.

- I'm gonna go now.

- No no, dude, come on.

Dude, please.

Please? You can't let me

go to this by myself.

You're my best friend. You can't do that.

It's not in the book.

You can't do this.

Please, man.

Please.

- Please?

- All right.

I'll go.

Thank God.

- Hey.

- Who goes there?

Police.

Open up.

Oh, okay.

Come on.

Hey, look,

she said she was 18.

I always believe what

children say.

No, man, I need to see

your delivery schedule.

- Open the f***ing gate. Come on.

- Oh, okay.

Okay, all right.

I got the key right here.

- No, wrong key.

- Come on, man.

- It's a f***ing emergency.

- I found it.

No.

Maybe it's this one.

Son of a b*tch.

Looks like that one.

Here it is.

Gross.

Hey.

Sorry.

I didn't mean to scare you.

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