Cactus Flower Page #3

Doctor, really!

If your girlfriends

start to come

before your patients...

Miss Dickinson, shut up!

Oh!

(TELEPHONE RINGING)

Dr. Winston's office.

No, he's not here.

Now, look, Mr. Sullivan,

if it is that important,

you'd better tell me

about it.

What? Toni is alive?

Who is Toni? Hello?

Now, hello?

(FOOTSTEPS APPROACHING)

I didn't know dentists

made house calls.

I knew it. I knew it.

I knew it!

Knew what?

That you

wouldn't do it.

A whole day

full of appointments,

a dozen patients coming,

and you send a letter

that you're going

to kill yourself

and then don't.

Well, I'm sorry

to disappoint you.

The whole thing

was a fake, wasn't it?

Everything between us

is a fake, Julian.

Just because I broke

one lousy little date

last night?

It happens that I had

a very important meeting

with an Australian dentist.

We were comparing techniques.

Don't try to spare

my feelings, Julian.

I know you were out

with your wife.

Well, if you know, you know.

I've made up my mind, Julian.

We're through.

Through?

What are you talking about?

We're so happy together.

We are?

Well, I'm happy together.

I've decided I want a man

of my own. Exclusively.

No more going halfsies.

So here. I packed

your pajamas, your toothbrush,

and your pic...

(KNOCKING ON DOOR)

Toni, this isn't like you.

Hi. Oh, I didn't know

you had company.

It's only Julian.

This is Igor Sullivan.

Hello, Dr. Winston,

I just spoke to your nurse

on the telephone.

Something wrong

with your teeth?

No, I called to tell you

Toni's alive

and you didn't have to

worry about her letter.

Alive?

You feeling all right,

Toni?

I'm fine.

Thanks, Igor.

Okay.

I wanted to make sure

you weren't playing

any more tricks with the gas.

Gas?

Gas.

Gas.

Toni, I'm a bastard.

No, Julian.

A no-good bastard.

Well...

You really tried

to kill yourself over me?

Stupid, wasn't it?

I'm a bastard.

The biggest bastard

in the whole world.

Julian, please,

you're starting to make it

sound like bragging.

It wasn't your fault.

I knew what I was

getting into.

You've always told me

the truth.

I should've kept

my mouth shut.

You couldn't, Julian.

You're a decent guy.

That's why I fell

in love with you.

Now I'm returning you

to your wife

and your children.

I hope you'll be

very happy.

You know, Toni.

Everything's going to

be all right.

I'm going

to make it up to you.

Oh, sure.

You'll take me away for

another fun-filled weekend

at some motel.

No more weekends

and no more motels.

Toni, I'm going to marry you.

How do you mean, marry?

You know, marry,

with the judge,

the blood test,

the license.

That kind of marry.

Right away.

But what about your wife?

My wife? I'll divorce her.

What about the children?

I'll divorce them, too.

Julian, this isn't funny.

I should have done it

a long time ago.

Oh, baby, when I think

that you were ready to

die because of me...

Oh, Julian,

you really do love me.

Did you ever doubt it?

Julian, not now.

Why not now?

Igor's right next door.

He can hear everything.

Well, Igor's been

right next door before.

Yeah, but I hadn't

met him then.

Look, the sooner we move you

out of here, the better.

Now that you're going to be

Mrs. Julian Winston.

Imagine that.

Me, a married man.

I mean,

me, married to you.

Julian, wha-wha-what's

going to become of her?

Your wife.

Why do we keep talking

about my wife?

Well, you're going to

have to make some

arrangements about her.

What do you

figure on doing?

Simple. Hup, out!

Oh, is that what

you'll say when

you get tired of me?

"Hup, out"?

No, this is different,

darling.

I'm, I love you.

My wife and I...

I never even knew her.

How did

the three children come?

United Parcel?

Well, at the beginning

I was polite.

Look, will you stop

worrying about my wife?

She'll be taken care of.

What if she refuses

to give you a divorce?

She wouldn't dare.

Let's forget her.

I can't.

I can't. The thought

of being a housebreaker

sort of spoils things.

A home-breaker.

A housebreaker is a crook.

Well, I'm stealing you

away from your wife.

You may not believe it,

but I have

certain standards.

Toni, I haven't wanted

to go into this,

but what if I told you

that it's my wife

who wants the divorce?

Oh, God. You mean

she found out about us?

Let's just say that

she wants

her freedom, too.

Oh. Well, in that case,

I'll be proud

to marry you.

(MUFFLED) Oh, baby.

(GIGGLING)

(BANGING)

Hey!

Hey, will you...

(BANGING CONTINUES)

What the hell

are you doing there?

Fixing Toni's window.

Because if she waits

till the janitor

gets around to it,

it'll take forever.

Thanks, Igor.

(BANGING CONTINUES)

Tell him to get

the hell out of here

and come back later.

Julian, don't be

so impatient.

Well, look,

now that we're engaged

don't you think we should

do something to celebrate?

I know.

Let's do something

we've never done before.

What?

You can take me out

in the daytime.

Did you get enough

sauerkraut?

(GIGGLING) Yeah.

(MACHINERY RUMBLING)

(GIGGLING)

I want to meet her.

Who?

Your wife.

My wife?

I wanna get things

straightened out

with her.

Oh, come on, Toni.

That really

isn't necessary.

Well, I want her

to tell me herself that

she wants to leave you.

She does!

Have I ever lied to you?

(HORN BLARING)

You'll arrange it,

won't you, Julian?

Arrange what?

For me to meet your wife.

It's very important

she doesn't think of me

as some sort of

house-wrecker.

Home-wrecker.

I don't want to have to

hide every time

I run into her somewhere.

Believe me,

you'll never run into her.

Julian,

if I don't meet your wife,

I won't be happy.

And if I'm not happy,

then you won't be happy.

I'll bet this guy cheated

and used a ruler. (CHUCKLES)

When am I going to meet her?

And don't say who.

Baby, you can

take my word for it.

Julian, you've

got to promise...

I'll do nothing

of the kind.

Now let's just drop

the whole thing.

All right, let's drop it.

Do you know

what this represents?

Goodbye, Julian.

"Goodbye"?

It was very nice

knowing you.

Just a minute.

Toni, come back here.

Forget it!

Wait a minute,

Toni. Toni! Will you...

All right, I promise.

You'll meet her.

(ECHOING)

You'll meet her!

You'll meet her!

(SIGHS)

Oh, Seor Sanchez.

The doctor,

he is waiting?

I tried to call you

at the UN,

but you'd already left.

The doctor had to cancel

all his appointments today.

Oh, really?

Well, that's too bad.

Oh, but as long

as you're here

we might as well

x-ray that tooth

that's bothering you.

That I don't mind.

But you're not afraid

of Dr. Winston, are you?

Well, it's funny,

because by nature

I am not a coward.

As a matter of fact,

I'm known in my

own country as El Bravo.

El Bravo.

How about that?

(LAUGHING)

I have been through

six bloody revolutions.

At United Nations,

I've sat in my seat

and I've listened to

a nine-hour speech

by the Bulgarian delegate.

Yet, when it comes

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