Calamity Jane Page #5

Do it for me, Danny, pease.

You're quite a ady, Caamity.

[Tender instrumenta music]

-Did you have to wear that od army coat?

-Od coat?

t was Custer's, Bi.

He gave it to me himsef.

f it's good enough for Custer,

it ought to be good enough for Fort Scuy.

This ain't no scaping expedition

against Sitting Bu. We're going to a ba.

know it. We sure got a night for it,

ain't we, Bi?

Don't it thri you

just to ook at them his?

t sure does.

No wonder the njuns

fight so fierce to hang on to this country.

[Harmonica pays and guitar strums]

[Sings pioneer baad]

[Sweeping watz]

That can't be Caamity.

Why, she's beautifu!

What happened to her?

ALL:
Save one for me, iss Caamity.

Wait a minute, feows.

can't get a your names

on this here card.

can't even spe most of them.

That's a got room for.

What you need is a bigger card!

Caamity has been hoding out on us,

carrying conceaed weapons.

How come a these gaoots

want to dance with me?

At that shindig at Hogan's stabe,

none of them came around.

- didn't know.

- spent the night chatting with the mues.

That's what 've been teing you,

that you'd ook better in a dress.

Do , Danny?

You're an absoute vision, Caamity.

OFFCER:
Caamity, is this dance open?

We, 'm kind of saving this one.

Come on, Caam.

Danny hasn't even asked me for a dance.

know.

Katie and him are thicker than moasses.

Bi, ook there.

He's taking her out in the garden.

Katie, daring.

Danny, we shoudn't.

ove you, Katie.

....

What about Caamity?

Caamity can be your bridesmaid.

BLL:
Caam, wait.

-Where are you going?

-Home.

brought her here. e.

A the way from Chicago.

Just to make ove to Danny.

This town ain't big enough for me

and that man-rusting petticoat!

t ain't that serious.

Peope aways act siy at these sociabes.

You saw them out in that garden.

They weren't acting!

-Give me that gun.

-Stand cear, Bi Hickok.

don't see her anywhere, Danny.

You're the ony person in the word

who'd worry about Caamity.

Bridesmaid?

-Are you a right?

-Yes, 'm a right.

CALATY:
She's nothing but a miserabe,

two-timing caim jumper.

Hep me get out of this dangbasted thing!

We, stand sti.

even took her in my own cabin

because figured she'd need protection.

Like a wease in a hencoop,

she needs protection!

Throw that in

with the rest of her man-traps.

And that! And that!

bet it wasn't the first time

she kissed him.

bet it's been going on a the time.

Here, in my own cabin.

Gosh amighty, 'm dumb!

f you have to bame somebody,

bame that pretty-boy ieutenant of yours.

t seems to me

he was on the other end of the kissing.

She charmed him hog-eyed.

Look at these. Pure sik!

' bet her mother spun them!

Take them to her!

Te her to keep out of my sight!

So hep me, Bi, if ever see her again...

' put a buet smack in the midde

of that pretty face!

n both of them!

[Caamity cries]

[Sing payfu song]

-Sarsaparia.

-Caam, where have you been?

Katie said to te you if you come in,

she'd ike to see you.

She's going to see me. Right now.

There's going to be troube.

[Sience]

What do you want, Caamity?

There's a stage eaving at noon tomorrow.

Be on it!

Are you threatening me?

'm warning you.

What is it? What's going on?

Caamity just warned Katie

to get out of town.

Buck, end me a gun.

KATE:
Caamity.

Hod up your gass.

What's the matter? Are you afraid?

AN:
Katie's done it!

[Cheering]

magine Katie making a shot ike that!

-Where are you going, Caam? Come here.

-Leave me be.

-Get in that buggy.

-Let go of me!

Get in there or ' knock you senseess,

if you had any sense.

've seen you do ots of crazy things...

but this is the first time

've seen you make a foo of yoursef.

Sit down and isten.

You're a fake, Caam.

You dress, tak, ride and shoot

ike a man, but you think ike a femae!

Like a green-eyed, snaring,

spitting femae.

Katie beat you twice, out of your man and

out of the respect you had around here.

And you heped her!

did, too.

She didn't shoot the gass out of

your hand, did. You needed a esson.

Who are you to te peope who to ove?

Suppose you did scare her out of town,

woud that get your ieutenant back?

Woud that stop Katie from oving him,

or him her?

That's femae thinking.

He'd bring her back,

and they woud both hate you.

You had to ose tonight, Caam,

or you'd never win again.

Go on, baw. Admit you're a femae.

Have your hysterics, get them over with.

You' fee better.

was so pumb crazy about him.

know. fet the same way about her.

You mean, you're in ove with Katie?

t's funny, ain't it?

Bi, 'm sorry. didn't know.

That's a right.

t' take some time, but ' get over it.

You wi, too.

-No, won't. Not Danny.

-Yes, you wi.

A 've done for months

is dream about him.

About getting married,

and buiding a cabin...

and having young'uns.

know it sounds siy, guess, but...

Bi, reay wanted a those things.

was kind of hankering for them mysef.

There' never be another man ike him.

Not for me. Not ever.

t ain't going to be easy

getting her out of my system either.

She was so beautifu and....

[Romantic instrumenta music]

What ever happened to that ieutenant

you were teing me about?

never heard of him.

[Sings tender ove song]

[Horse nays]

Howdy, Fanagan.

How's the caim panning out?

The way she acted,

no wonder nobody wi tak to her.

hope she don't speak to me.

hate to insut women.

Howdy, feows. 'orning, Biy.

-Howdy, Francis.

-Heo, Caamity.

Have you seen Bi around?

He and Coorado

are out working their caim.

How come they are taking down

them signs?

Katie's not here anymore.

Where is she?

Has she been hurt? s she sick?

Te me, Francis, where is she?

On her way back to Chicago.

Chicago?

You warned her to get out of town,

didn't you? We, she got.

But didn't mean it! was loco.

didn't want her to go.

That's what came to te her.

You're ate. The stage eft a haf hour ago.

The town is going to miss that kid.

didn't think she'd go, swear it.

She wasn't scared. She shot back at me.

Why woud she go away? Why?

Because she's a ady, Caamity.

She's not mean and sefish, and never

earned to wreck peope's ives ike....

Like me. Say it!

don't have to say it. She eft this note.

t says everything. Listen.

''Dear Danny:
Caamity oves you and--''

-But, don't!

-Shut up and isten!

''Caamity oves you

and you probaby ove her.

'' had no right to come between you.

ove you both, and want you to be happy.

''Pretend it was Adeaid Adams

who came to Deadwood.

''Katie Brown never existed.

She doesn't now. Goodbye, Danny.''

Never existed?

She was the most rea person

in Deadwood.

Put them signs back up.

'm bringing that stage back here!

[Adventurous instrumenta music]

BLL:
Caam, where are you going?

Come on!

don't know what kind of ife you' have

iving with that catamount...

but it ain't gonna be du.

That's for dang sure.

CALATY:
Rattesnake!

CALATY:
Rattesnake, stop!

Why don't you stop when ye?

thought you was njuns.

Katie, 'm going to get married!

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