California Suite Page #8

Sorry I didn't win

that award tonight.

Your dance card would have

been filled for a year.

We haven't done

too badly together.

I'm kinder to you

than your average stuntman.

There was a time, Sidney,

when I thought you'd

give it all up for me.

I love you, my angel,

more than any woman

I've ever known.

Christ, I can't get a break.

I do the best I can.

Thank you.

You can't say we don't

have fun together.

Oh, hell, no. The dinner

conversations alone

are worth the trouble.

Sorry.

Sorry, Sidney.

It wasn't the kiss.

It's my life.

Tired? Come on, then.

Losing Oscars always

does that to me.

I'll get up first thing

and order your eggs Benedict.

You do take care of me, Sidney.

I'll say that.

And good help is

so hard to find these days.

You scratch my back,

and I'll scratch yours.

It's been an evening

of ups and downs, hasn't it?

Mm-hmm.

Care to continue the motion?

Tacky.

You're getting tacky, my angel.

I love you, Sidney.

Don't close your eyes, Sidney.

I always close my eyes.

Not tonight.

Look at me tonight.

Let it be me... tonight.

- Long!

- What?

Long. The serve was long.

You're half asleep. How can

you see the serve was long?

I saw it with the half

that was awake.

Second serve.

I hope he knows something

about orthopedics,

'cause he won't be able

to walk after this.

Long! Double fault.

Love-fifteen.

What? What?

How can you call that ball long?

It's simple.

Like this:
Looooong!

Now serve the ball.

Serve the ball, Willis. We only

have the court for an hour.

After I serve you head

for the clubhouse,

'cause there's

not gonna be any survivors.

- "Long."

- You ready?

Oh! Ooh!

Get a towel, somebody, quick!

- God, Willis! Jesus!

- I'm sorry.

- If it hurts, massage it.

- Honey, I'm sorry.

- It's ok. It's ok.

- You all right?

- Yeah, I'm ok.

- All right. Go! Second serve!

Let them have the room tonight,

please. It's safer.

Never again.

Never again. Never.

Never.

Oh, god.

What are you doing here?

I thought you left.

Hey, hey. Come on.

You can't stay here.

Wake up.

Ohhh.

Oh.

10:
45?

Jesus Christ, it's 10:45.

Hey, wake up. Wake up.

Don't you understand?

It's 10:
45.

Crazy. I must be crazy.

Hello? Hello, operator,

what time is it?

10:
45?

Why didn't you call me?

I left a wake-up call

for 8:
00 this morning!

I did! I didn't?

Well, you should have

called me anyway.

Hey, come on. Get up.

My wife could walk in

any minute.

Hey!

What's wrong with you?

You deaf or something?

You all right?

What'd you do?

You drank an entire bottle of

Tequila with my wife coming in?

Are you crazy?

Oh, god.

Oh, listen, listen.

You gotta sleep this off

someplace else.

This is a bad place

to sleep this off.

Water.

How 'bout some nice water?

Here, lady.

Sip a little water.

Drink, sweetheart, for my sake.

Open your lips, you crazy broad!

Don't panic. Panic is

the quickest way to divorce.

Don't panic.

Mustn't panic!

Move. Move!

Please, god, make her move.

I'll never be a bad person

again, I promise.

All right. We're going to get

you dressed and down into a cab.

That's it.

I'm really sorry this happened.

It was a wonderful evening,

whoever the hell you are.

Come on, darling.

Push.

Get your leg in there.

Get your foot in there and push.

Come on! Come on.

Push, darling, push.

Get your feet...

Feet in here.

Come on!

Damn it, push!

Legs up, and push.

Get the foot in. Come on.

Come on!

You're not gonna help me, right?

Think, think, Marvin.

Think, think.

Change rooms.

Let some other idiot

get stuck with her.

Hello, operator?

Get me the front desk, please.

This is an emergency.

Listen, I have two wonderful

children who need a father.

Don't do this to me.

Hello, this is Mr. Michaels

in suite 203 and 4.

Listen, I'm very

uncomfortable in this room.

The bed is very bad for my back.

When I woke up this morning,

I thought my life was over.

Well, we don't have

another vacancy

until 2:
00

this afternoon.

One moment, Mr. Michaels.

May I help you, ma'am?

Marvin Michaels.

I'm Mrs. Marvin Michaels.

He's on the phone now.

Suite 203.

Thank you. Would you

tell him I'll be right up?

Mr. Michaels, as I was saying,

we can have a...

Very nice suite for you

sometime after 2:00.

I can't wait until 2:00.

My wife is coming in

from the east any minute now,

and I know she's not gonna be

happy once she sees this room.

Who's here? My wife?

My wife is here?

You sent my wife up here

without calling me?

What the hell kind of a cheap

hotel are you running here?

Well, send somebody to stop her

before she sees this bed!

It could ruin

her entire vacation!

I could jump. With two broken legs,

she'd never be angry with me.

Oh, my god.

- Marvin?

- Oh, god.

Oh, my god.

Marvin? Hello?

Marvin?

Open the door!

Just a minute!

What are you doing,

rearranging the furniture?

Open the door!

I'm going into the other room.

Once I'm in there,

lock this door

and don't open it for anyone!

What?

I cannot hear you.

Who is it?

- It's me, Millie.

- Millie?

- Yes!

- Just a minute!

Millie?

Hello, Marvin.

Thank you for opening the door.

Hello, sweetie.

Why didn't you pick me up

at the airport?

- Why?

- Yes, why?

Why.

I've been sick all day.

I just threw up in the other room.

Don't go in there.

The doctor left

about ten minutes ago.

I have acute gastroenteritis.

- But it's nothing to worry about.

- Oh, my god!

- When did this happen?

- About 2:
00 in the morning.

You look terrible.

Why don't you get into bed,

honey. You'll feel better.

- Come on, you'll be more...

- Oh, no! Oh, no!

I'm not supposed to lie down.

It makes me nauseous.

- Honey... ok.

- It just makes me nauseous.

Oh, you're so sweet.

I feel much better in this room.

It's so much cheerier.

I think you better lie down.

- I need some compazine spansules.

- What's that?

Aah! It stops nausea.

- Compazine spansules.

- Did you call downstairs to the drugstore?

They don't carry it.

It has codeine in it.

The nearest place that has it is a

drugstore on Santa Monica blvd.

But they don't deliver. I'm gonna

have to go down there myself.

All right, I'll go.

I'll go.

- Where's the prescription?

- What prescription?

Didn't the doctor give

you a prescription?

You can't get codeine

without a prescription.

Yes, you can.

In California, you can.

Compazine spansules.

Well, then... I have

to go to the bathroom.

- Now?

- Well, I haven't gone in four hours.

I told you, I just threw up

in there, all over.

Please, give me the opportunity

of making it presentable first.

It means a great deal to me.

We've been married for 15 years.

You've never cleaned up

a bathroom before.

Well, I think it's

high time I started.

Don't you?

Please.

I'll be right out.

- Sit down for a minute.

- No, please, no...

Here, have a piece of fruit.

Go to the bathroom

if you're gonna clean up, ok?

I'm sorry, miss.

I'm gonna have to leave

you out in the hall.

Don't worry about it.

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