Call Me Crazy: A Five Film Page #4

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Because they're all

off their hinges.

That's not the only thing

that's off its hinges.

Oh, I think I hear Daddy.

Okay, okay, there's no way

I'm staying in your room.

There are no doors, except the bathroom,

but that doesn't have a knob.

You can't lock it, and there's a hole,

so anyone can see inside.

How am I supposed to

go to the bathroom?

Trust me, that is

the least of our problems.

It's kind of a big problem for me.

Hey, Allie, my girl.

Oh, how are you, sweetie?

Daddy, this is Luke.

Hi, Luke.

So nice to meet you, sir.

I've heard a lot about you.

You too.

And this is my sister.

I'm Lucy.

Hi.

Is anybody hungry?

Luke, something wrong

with your dinner?

No, no, no.

No, everything's great.

I will guard the bathroom.

Just eat.

So the doors are off because...?

Long story short, a few years ago,

I locked Allie in her room

and tried to strangle her

with a nightgown.

I totally get it. Uh,

my brothers and I

used to fight all the time.

It's not like your brothers.

You don't know my brothers. Ha, ha.

So your sister tried to

kill you, why?

The smoke detectors told me to.

Why they didn't just tell you

to bake muffins is anybody's guess.

Did the smoke detectors

talk to you?

Yeah, mostly, back then.

Ahem. Luke, did Allie even

tell you that she had a sister?

Yeah, yeah, but just

that you were in law school.

That's it? That's all she said?

Seriously?

You know what? Actually, Allie did

tell me one other thing about you.

What?

Remember that night when you were

freaking out about your history exam?

She told me that

she wished that you were there

because when she was a kid

and was nervous about something,

you'd always climb into bed

with her until she fell asleep.

Yeah, that was before she became the

second coming of the Boston Strangler.

Allie.

So you obviously don't know that I am

batshit crazy.

Well, he does now.

You're not batshit crazy.

You were batshit crazy.

Allie, why didn't you tell him?

Compliments, everybody.

Compliments.

You turn to the person across the table

from you and give them a compliment.

Hugh, you start.

Oh, okay.

Luke, that's a heck of a shirt

you got on there.

Thank you. Uh...

Um, I'm still a little stuck on

this whole trying-to-kill-you thing.

Yeah, me too.

I have schizophrenia.

So, um, is that like the one

with different personalities and...?

No, that's multiple personality

disorder.

Schizophrenia is a psychotic disorder.

It doesn't normally make people violent,

but it can impair their thinking,

emotions, behavior.

I don't really know

what that means either.

Basically, I have hallucinations

and sometimes I hear voices

that tell me to do things.

And we've learned over the

years to separate the real Lucy

from who Lucy is when she's ill.

Yeah, because that's so easy.

No, I totally get it.

You what?

Well, I understand

what your mom's saying.

I mean, people can't be blamed for

something if they're sick, right? Hm?

Thank you.

So now you're on her side too.

No, no, no,

I'm not on anyone's side.

Uh, uh...

Except for your side. I'm on your side.

Don't let the sniping fool you.

There's affection there.

I'm sorry.

Are you new here?

Because my loving sister,

well, she tried to kill me.

That was just the illness, right?

She didn't want you dead.

Dead enough.

How dead do you have to be around here

till someone takes your freaking side?

Let me guess. This wasn't a

typical dinner at your house. Heh.

You can't even slam a freaking door

in this house!

Look, I was just trying

to understand your sister.

Everyone is always trying

to understand my sister.

Trust me, no one

has come up with anything yet.

I thought you were gonna be the

person who'd try to understand me.

Everybody can hear those voices, right?

Yes, honey.

Just checking.

No doors, people.

You have no idea what it is like

growing up in this house.

I'm not saying I do.

Know why that poster is still on the wall?

Because my life stopped

when I was 12 years old

and it did not start back up again

until a year ago.

Since the first time Lucy got sick,

everything has been about her.

Doors!

You wanna know what's funny?

It was about her before then too.

She was the smart one.

She was the pretty one.

She was the star of the family.

Apparently, that was not enough for her,

because then she got sick.

And she dominated

every moment of our lives.

Everything else was just put on hold.

Okay, I can't listen anymore.

- I'm going upstairs.

- No, Mom. No, I wanna hear this.

I wanna hear the unvarnished truth.

I like my truth with a little varnish.

Know what it's like

to postpone your birthday

because your sister sees

giant rats running across the floor?

Or to have your parents

so distracted all the time

that they can barely get through

the day, let alone find the energy

to come to your stupid

soccer game?

If Lucy had a bad day

my mom wouldn't get out of bed

for the next two days or weeks,

depending on how bad it was.

I'm really sorry

you had to go through all that.

I wish you had told me.

On our first date? Or second?

How about the first time

we did it from behind?

When she says that... Just...

She didn't mean anal.

Should I have told you

that day in People's Park...

when we saw that woman arguing

with a trash can, and you said:

"I want you to meet my mom"?

And we laughed, and it was funny,

except that could have been my sister.

Yeah, you feel like crap?

Yeah, well, welcome to my world. Heh.

Wanna know what real guilt

feels like?

When my sister

finally went to the hospital,

I dreaded her coming home.

It was a relief

when she was gone, and we...

We were happy.

We felt like a family again

for the first time.

Lucy, that's not true.

It's okay.

Honey. Honey.

It's okay.

Well...

at least the chicken was good.

I'm sorry you had to hear that.

If you were really sorry,

you wouldn't have said that in

a room that didn't have doors.

Look, I didn't mean to be cruel.

Yes, you did, Allie.

You've wanted to tell me that

for a really long time.

Do you realize that you're

furious at me for being sick?

I mean, I guess

I shouldn't be surprised.

It's a very common theme

in group.

See? Anything I feel is invalid

because you are the sick one.

Nobody ever seems to remember

that when my sister

who I idolized, by the way,

was supposed to just be

laying with me in bed,

was instead using my nightgown

to strangle me.

You have to stop taking that personally.

Oh, my God. That is absurd.

All I could think was:

"This isn't happening.

My sister loves me.

And what the hell

is Hello Kitty smiling at?"

Is that why you never came to see me?

No.

That place freaked me out.

Of course it freaks you out.

It freaks everybody out. It's a loony bin.

Well, it scares me to see you like that.

Allie, I need a sister

that's gonna be there.

I need to know you're not

just an illusion in my head.

I need to know your voice

is really happening.

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