Call Me Lucky

Thank you very much.

Thank you and congratulations

for being part of this

huge crowd today.

They tell us ifs

not another Vietnam

and then they wheel out

Henry Kissinger

to tell us about it.

Henry Kissinger!

If it's not another Vietnam,

why would they bring

Henry Kissinger?

What, was Goebbels

not available that day?

Goering wasn't around?

Bring out Kissinger.

And he talks like

he's really saying'

"We must very careful

or war will be averted. "

Unlike the U.S. Government,

I've never supported

Saddam Hussein.

Nor have I supported

the Shah of Iran,

Shamir, Sharon'

Suharto,

Chiang Kai-shek,

Kristiani,

,

the Somozas'

the Duvaliers,

Marcos, Batista,

Diem,

Rios Montt,

Stroessner, Pinochet'

Sorezo,

Park Chung-hee,

General Zia,

The Sultan of Brunei,

Assad, King Fahd,

General Zia,

Franco, Savimbi'

Lyndon Johnson,

Richard Nixon,

Gerald Ford'

P.W. Botha,

Margaret Thatcher,

Ronald Reagan

or George Bush.

- Everything about him

was honest and true,

and there was no bullshit.

There was no...

No fake anything.

- Oh, Barry Crimmins,

oh my God.

Who's Barry? Barry who?

He was a guy...

who you heard about

before you actually saw him.

This whispered-about presence.

I never met anyone like him.

- I went to Kentucky...

I got into a big hassle.

I got caught smuggling

books into Kentucky.

Got off on a technicality.

No one could prove

they were books.

- Barry Crimmins was this

weird mythical force

that was a judgmental

sage of some kind that'

you know,

I didn't quite get.

- You know, in the 80s

and 90s there was, like,

this wave of comedy that was...

the truth teller.

And I feel like people

should claim him more.

Because I think he has

much more of an influence

than anybody realizes.

Gruff, smart, annoying...

Like, invasive.

- You know, Barry

should have been a super,

super, superstar, I suppose,

if this was a just world.

- I was always very aware of

this name and this presence of,

"If you really want to see

somebody go to the edge,

you gotta go look

for Barry Crimmins. "

But he wasn't

putting albums out'

the internet wasn't there yet.

- He had integrity,

you know, and he would...

He was a man of his word.

But he was,

he was a nut job!

- Hold on a second.

Watch...

Watch the kind

of stuff I can do here.

Listen, I'm sick of

listening to you yell.

I'm making a TV show here,

okay?

And you're yelling.

Just get out.

I don't like you.

He's like a, you know.

Like a guy in a John Ford

movie, you know?

He's just this combination

of sort of anger

and sentimentality,

you know?

Which, you know, makes him

fascinating but difficult.

- He would rip politicians,

he would rip musicians.

Everything was fair

game in his eyes.

- He's like a combination

of Ambrose Bierce

and Charles Manson,

if you're just looking at him.

Will Rogers and Mark Twain.

- Audie Murphy

and Abby Hoffman.

- He looks a lot like

Fidel Castro.

Noam Chomsky and Bluto.

- Everybody should just

treat each other well...

Because there's a

lot of pain out there.

And comedy has nothing to

do with alleviating it.

It's just a distraction, man.

- I knew that he

was a troubled guy'

that things were

not easy for him.

They didn't seem

easy for him ever.

When he was around he was

always kind of nervous

and seemed fragile

in a way.

But volatile.

- There's always so many people

around making noise and stuff.

You never know

what to do, really'

because your senses are

constantly assaulted.

And your senses are being

assaulted right now by me

because you're watching me

on some electric thing.

And it's making us weird.

- His fuse was getting

shorter and shorter.

- F*** you.

F*** your family.

F***ing nine-year-old kid's

giving me sh*t about politics.

Blow me, all right'?

But that wasn't the issue.

He has demons,

Barry, you know'?

- I didn't know, I didn't

know what made him tick.

But that's the way he was.

But I think...

There was a lot of personal

things that happened in his life

when he was young

that came out later.

This is...

Obviously I'm

talking about Barry,

and you're Barry's sister and...

I don't know what's going on.

If you want to tell me,

this would be the time.

God damn it!

- He lives in a nice house,

nice stone fireplace.

Surrounded by trees

in a very wooded area

m upstate New York.

Wide open fields.

Gorgeous nature.

- He is away from society'

show business,

Wal-Mart,

Top 40 radio, you know'?

He's like a wizard.

You know, he lives,

he lives in the woods.

- I think it's good for

him up there, too.

Chopping the wood.

It gives him a good outlet.

It's a lifestyle.

When you're 30 ifs okay

but at a certain age you

start to get arthritis,

you want a dental plan,

you know?

- I've been a mechanic

for about 30 years

and that's how I

got to meet Barry.

I was working on his cars

and snowplowing for him,

and he always told me

these things that he's done

and I've never believed him.

I usually don't let my

customers be my friends

to a point where they

come to my house

but Barry kinda

broke through that.

- He's the finest person

I've ever met in my life.

Bottom line.

- It's funny,

the contrast of where he is

and commenting on what's

happening in the world

is funny in itself.

It's like if Thoreau

could have a computer.

Yeah, f*** this plan.

Well, there's a couple of things

I really still feel

I have to accomplish,

and if I do I think I'll be

able to put my little tile

in the grand mosaic of life.

And those two things are,

of course,

I'd like to overthrow the

government of the United States'

and I'd like to close

the Catholic church.

- In a lot of ways I think

Barry is his own worst enemy

when n comes to ms career.

He's rarely had an agent.

He can be incredibly stubborn.

He doesn't like to delegate.

He has a hard time

trusting others.

So if you add all that up

and it's not a good mix

for career advancement.

- Would you welcome now,

in any condition,

Barry Crimmins.

Bar.

- Been on sort of a

health kick lately.

Lotta wars going on

right now.

I think cable TV

should pick up on it.

Start a cable war network.

All war, all the time.

- To take Barry and put him

in between Jeff Dunham

and a guy doing

MC Harmer yokes...

It was a very stark difference.

It wasn't exactly profitable

to be doing really

harsh politi...

It was probably doing

fun political stuff.

"Quayle's an idiot,

Reagan's kind of", you know...

But he was, you know,

almost he was edging into

Noam Chomsky territory,

but doing it in front

of a neon, you know,

thing of Charlie Chaplin

with people drinking

blender drinks.

- They're talking about putting

Reagan on Mount Rushmore.

Wow, huh?

If they do that we'll have

to raise a bunch of money

to buy Lincoln and

Jefferson blindfolds.

If they're going to honor him

they're going to put him on

the million dollar bill.

This way all his friends

will have something

to remember him by.

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