Call Me Lucky
Thank you very much.
Thank you and congratulations
for being part of this
huge crowd today.
They tell us ifs
not another Vietnam
and then they wheel out
Henry Kissinger
to tell us about it.
Henry Kissinger!
If it's not another Vietnam,
why would they bring
Henry Kissinger?
What, was Goebbels
not available that day?
Goering wasn't around?
Bring out Kissinger.
And he talks like
he's really saying'
"We must very careful
or war will be averted. "
Unlike the U.S. Government,
I've never supported
Saddam Hussein.
Nor have I supported
the Shah of Iran,
Shamir, Sharon'
Suharto,
Chiang Kai-shek,
Kristiani,
,
the Somozas'
the Duvaliers,
Marcos, Batista,
Diem,
Rios Montt,
Stroessner, Pinochet'
Sorezo,
Park Chung-hee,
General Zia,
The Sultan of Brunei,
Assad, King Fahd,
General Zia,
Franco, Savimbi'
Lyndon Johnson,
Richard Nixon,
Gerald Ford'
P.W. Botha,
Margaret Thatcher,
Ronald Reagan
or George Bush.
- Everything about him
was honest and true,
and there was no bullshit.
There was no...
No fake anything.
- Oh, Barry Crimmins,
oh my God.
Who's Barry? Barry who?
He was a guy...
who you heard about
before you actually saw him.
This whispered-about presence.
- I went to Kentucky...
I got into a big hassle.
I got caught smuggling
books into Kentucky.
Got off on a technicality.
No one could prove
they were books.
- Barry Crimmins was this
weird mythical force
that was a judgmental
sage of some kind that'
you know,
I didn't quite get.
- You know, in the 80s
and 90s there was, like,
this wave of comedy that was...
the truth teller.
And I feel like people
should claim him more.
Because I think he has
much more of an influence
than anybody realizes.
Gruff, smart, annoying...
Like, invasive.
- You know, Barry
should have been a super,
super, superstar, I suppose,
if this was a just world.
- I was always very aware of
this name and this presence of,
"If you really want to see
somebody go to the edge,
you gotta go look
for Barry Crimmins. "
But he wasn't
putting albums out'
the internet wasn't there yet.
- He had integrity,
you know, and he would...
He was a man of his word.
But he was,
he was a nut job!
- Hold on a second.
Watch...
Watch the kind
of stuff I can do here.
Listen, I'm sick of
listening to you yell.
I'm making a TV show here,
okay?
And you're yelling.
Just get out.
I don't like you.
He's like a, you know.
Like a guy in a John Ford
movie, you know?
He's just this combination
of sort of anger
and sentimentality,
you know?
Which, you know, makes him
fascinating but difficult.
- He would rip politicians,
he would rip musicians.
Everything was fair
game in his eyes.
- He's like a combination
of Ambrose Bierce
and Charles Manson,
if you're just looking at him.
Will Rogers and Mark Twain.
- Audie Murphy
and Abby Hoffman.
- He looks a lot like
Fidel Castro.
Noam Chomsky and Bluto.
- Everybody should just
treat each other well...
Because there's a
lot of pain out there.
do with alleviating it.
It's just a distraction, man.
- I knew that he
was a troubled guy'
that things were
not easy for him.
They didn't seem
easy for him ever.
When he was around he was
always kind of nervous
and seemed fragile
in a way.
But volatile.
- There's always so many people
around making noise and stuff.
You never know
what to do, really'
because your senses are
constantly assaulted.
And your senses are being
assaulted right now by me
because you're watching me
on some electric thing.
And it's making us weird.
- His fuse was getting
shorter and shorter.
- F*** you.
F*** your family.
F***ing nine-year-old kid's
giving me sh*t about politics.
Blow me, all right'?
But that wasn't the issue.
He has demons,
Barry, you know'?
- I didn't know, I didn't
know what made him tick.
But that's the way he was.
But I think...
There was a lot of personal
things that happened in his life
when he was young
that came out later.
This is...
Obviously I'm
talking about Barry,
and you're Barry's sister and...
I don't know what's going on.
If you want to tell me,
this would be the time.
God damn it!
- He lives in a nice house,
nice stone fireplace.
Surrounded by trees
in a very wooded area
m upstate New York.
Wide open fields.
Gorgeous nature.
- He is away from society'
show business,
Wal-Mart,
Top 40 radio, you know'?
He's like a wizard.
You know, he lives,
he lives in the woods.
- I think it's good for
him up there, too.
Chopping the wood.
It gives him a good outlet.
It's a lifestyle.
When you're 30 ifs okay
but at a certain age you
start to get arthritis,
you want a dental plan,
you know?
- I've been a mechanic
for about 30 years
and that's how I
got to meet Barry.
I was working on his cars
and snowplowing for him,
and he always told me
these things that he's done
and I've never believed him.
I usually don't let my
customers be my friends
to a point where they
come to my house
but Barry kinda
broke through that.
- He's the finest person
I've ever met in my life.
Bottom line.
- It's funny,
and commenting on what's
happening in the world
is funny in itself.
It's like if Thoreau
could have a computer.
Yeah, f*** this plan.
Well, there's a couple of things
I really still feel
I have to accomplish,
and if I do I think I'll be
able to put my little tile
in the grand mosaic of life.
And those two things are,
of course,
I'd like to overthrow the
government of the United States'
and I'd like to close
the Catholic church.
- In a lot of ways I think
Barry is his own worst enemy
when n comes to ms career.
He's rarely had an agent.
He can be incredibly stubborn.
He doesn't like to delegate.
He has a hard time
trusting others.
So if you add all that up
and it's not a good mix
for career advancement.
in any condition,
Barry Crimmins.
Bar.
- Been on sort of a
health kick lately.
Lotta wars going on
right now.
I think cable TV
should pick up on it.
Start a cable war network.
All war, all the time.
- To take Barry and put him
in between Jeff Dunham
and a guy doing
MC Harmer yokes...
It was a very stark difference.
It wasn't exactly profitable
to be doing really
harsh politi...
It was probably doing
fun political stuff.
"Quayle's an idiot,
Reagan's kind of", you know...
But he was, you know,
almost he was edging into
Noam Chomsky territory,
but doing it in front
of a neon, you know,
thing of Charlie Chaplin
with people drinking
blender drinks.
- They're talking about putting
Reagan on Mount Rushmore.
Wow, huh?
If they do that we'll have
to buy Lincoln and
Jefferson blindfolds.
they're going to put him on
the million dollar bill.
This way all his friends
will have something
to remember him by.
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"Call Me Lucky" Scripts.com. STANDS4 LLC, 2024. Web. 19 Dec. 2024. <https://www.scripts.com/script/call_me_lucky_4956>.
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