Camera Store

---

1

And alls he left was a note...

A note!

Know what it said?

One day there is no more time.

After 32 years of marriage...

As if that whole time,

I was holding him prisoner.

It wasn't my fault.

Merry Christmas, you sheeny

f***.

Who you doing in Cali?

What do you mean, you're off?

It's Christmas f***ing Eve day.

So where you jetting to anyway?

Carmel valley tennis range.

Ooh, fancy... the views?

Screw the redwoods.

Flash a yard on the bar, you'll

get more p*ssy than the ASPCA.

And go for stewardesses.

They always leave.

Ho. Ho. Ho.

Merry f***ing Christmas.

What the f*** are you

doing here?

Bringing Christmas cheer.

Why don't you just f*** off?

Ray, put the club down

for one minute.

I don't have a lot of time.

Oh, right, no, busy man.

Places to go.

People to screw.

Knock yourself out, Ray.

I don't work for you anymore.

Not for ten glorious years

have I had to endure your sh*t.

My sh*t.

Yeah, what about that hot pile

you plotzed outside there.

It's old news.

Bullshit, old news.

You think people in this mall

don't know?

Karly Reagan runs out on me.

Chris received day rump

shift, leaves me short-handed.

Then he gipes the night drop.

And what did I say?

I said he's just a kid,

he's young, he'll learn.

Let it go, and I let

it f***ing go.

And I fed you product

below cost.

You got your money back.

What about my reputation?

Huh? My character.

Parts of that are

still f***ing missing.

And you know what, jerk?

Even after you f***ing

went to lion, what did I do?

I fed you serious volume.

I know.

Hey, Ray, man, oh f***,

you're off the charts, wow.

Ray, baby, these days

you're not even on the charts.

Flat couple of years, yeah.

Sure.

Oh, so you're the salesman now.

You push a product

that sells itself.

A five-year-old in a cheap

suit could do your job.

Oh, really, well, I guess this

is a misprint then, huh?

Karl Reagan, senior vice

president of sales...

Eastern seaboard.

Ray, I'm senior VP of sales

for the biggest film...

Manufacturer in the world.

You're a counter clerk.

Yeah, why don't you take that

wheelbarrow of your sh*t show...

And take it on down to Yorktown.

How about that?

Ray, you need to listen to this.

Why?

Because it's about you.

You blow in here at the crack

of dawn to show me...

The future.

A prototype.

Final production model.

Wow.

Huh... look at that.

You wait ten seconds...

Then you get to admire the

shittiest f***ing picture...

Ever taken in the history

of shitty f***ing pictures.

Look at that face.

Senior vice president of sales,

I don't know.

You look a little worried.

Why?

600,000 units.

You're f***ed, boyo.

So there's no shot

that I can move these.

You ever use one of these?

I hate photography.

What the f***? The biggest film

manufacturer in the world...

For the past 100 years trying,

has never made a great camera.

They think they own the market.

Bullshit.

Pride goeth before the fall,

my friend.

The market is people.

You don't sell

people the cameras.

You invite them

in to fall in love...

With a process or a product.

Look, Ray, I'm not you.

I'm not that smart...

But I know when to leave.

Some nip Einstein will build a

better one. It's coming, Ray.

The whole world is going

digital.

What the f***? You're still

playing the...

"Oh, I'm only here to help poor,

old Ray" card.

You prognosticate the future

of photography, for what?

To save me? Bullshit.

To save yourself.

Jesus Christ, Ray.

I come in here bearing gifts

and what do I get in return?

A recap of what a sh*t I am...

And the misery of listening

to you...

Twist the very virtues

you used to believe in...

In order to justify

your paralysis.

Ray, your plan to move on, the

one-hour-photo thing, it's good.

Well, how do you know

about that?

Cafritz over at Yorktown...

Said you were thinking about

opening a one-hour-photo booth.

That fat f*** has been shaking

in his boots...

Ever since you've been talking

about it for five years.

Well, I'm in talks

with Fuji right now.

Mike Nakimura.

What, you know him?

I lit the afterburners for you.

I told Nakimura you were ready

to rock right after the first.

In seven days.

1995... the year of Ray Lapine.

But here's the catch, Ray.

The slopes vet everything

and everyone.

They're gonna want to

take a look at your books.

So whatever number the valley

gives you, you gotta hit it.

To the f***ing penny.

Now, show 'em who you

really are, you get a new life.

F*** up, you die

in this joint, Ray.

Merry Christmas.

Oh, f***.

Operator you have

reached the offices...

Of Mike Nakimura at Fuji film

north America.

We are currently closed.

Our holiday hours are 10 A.M.

to 5 P.M.

Son of a b*tch.

Hey, boss man,

how you doing, sir?

Eh.

Same old Ray... different day.

Here you go, Ray...

The usual.

Hey, let me ask you a question.

When are you going to get rid

of that piece of sh*t...

That you drive?

You live 45 yards away

from this place...

And yet every single morning,

I see you driving in backwards?

Merry Christmas, Ray.

So what's the difference

between this place and prison?

The food's better in prison.

I told you that already, right?

Yeah, last Christmas. Hey, I got

some interesting news.

You interested?

Christmas, man...

Christmas f***ing Eve, huh?

I swear to you, this is my

last one... my last one.

How long, Tonia. How many?

What, 22, 23 years?

F***.

Well, you know what, though?

At least you work

for your own pocket.

I gotta f***ing bibideaux.

Doesn't even know what

real work is anymore.

Christmas Eve, where's he?

Boca.

And what's he doing?

Golfing.

Well, as long as he

signs the checks.

I swear, next year...

You're gonna be your own man?

I catch Nakimura

today, it's a done deal.

On a holiday?

Nips don't take holidays.

They die at their desks.

And you know the

beauty is the loan.

I mean, the manufacturer is

the lender, so there is no bank.

There's no middleman.

Paperwork is a mere formality.

Need a couple of clean

references... $25,000.

You know what Nakimura tells

me? Look at this.

This new model...

Puts out 400 prints, huh.

That's per hour.

The space, I gotta carry, so.

You know, I'm thinking

the main atrium.

Heaviest traffic flow.

Cash cow.

The beauty of it is

all that cream goes...

Right in my pocket.

Eh, you know, the novelty,

though.

What do you mean?

What do you mean, novelty?

I think it's worn off

a little bit.

I mean, those machines,

you see them.

Oh. Uh, you see one here?

No.

No? Did I miss it?

I mean, in this

mall, do you see one?

No, I do not.

No, you do not.

That's because there isn't one.

And I'll tell you something

else. The closest one?

And I've done this

research myself.

Two miles away.

And those greedy bastards,

they just raised their prices.

No. No. Yes, it's novel enough,

novel enough to make a fortune.

But first I gotta

get through next week.

And Tonia, what do I

hate about next week?

The returns?

Rate this script:0.0 / 0 votes