Camp Page #2

One, two,

three, four.

Quit dragging!

Y'all better get your asses

used to less sleep

'cause we're gonna have

rehearsal all morning.

Then lunch,

then rehearsal.

Then dinner,

then rehearsal.

And the whole thing starts

all over again the next day.

Miss Allen, we've all seen

the beginning of fame.

Ooh!

Ooh!

Fame, huh?

They do that on fame?

No.

Again!

One, two, three, four.

'Night, Jenna.

'Night, Ellen.

Shut up! Start again!

Eyes, eyes, nostrils!

Silent scream!

Eyes, eyes, nostrils!

Silent scream!

You're really talented.

I don't understand

a single word of this crap,

but you do it

with such conviction.

So...

A guy like you could have

a really lucky summer

in a place like this, huh?

I'm starting to

get that idea.

Hey, look. First star.

I know my wish.

Changing the subject.

Do you have

any brothers or sisters?

Four brothers...

Two older, two younger.

Four brothers...

Two older, two younger.

Must be tough when the middle

child is the special one.

Throws everything

out of whack.

Special? Yeah.

I don't even remember

the last time

my parents called me

by the right name.

You don't think

you're special?

No.

I mean, seriously.

I don't mean like dorky

boy-band kind of special,

I don't mean like dorky

boy-band kind of special,

which I'm sure

you get all the time, but...

There's something

really there.

Something substantial.

And you deserve something

substantial in return.

God. Somebody hit me

with a rock so I shut up.

No.

Made me feel great.

It's cold.

Come here.

That worked.

It's 10 A.M.

everybody should be in class.

Here we are.

Jeez.

Be it ever so humble...

What's up, Fritzi?

Would you like Fritzi

to fix you a bug juice

or something?

No.

Leave us.

Bye, Fritz.

Does she

work for you now?

She likes to do

little things for me.

It makes her feel

like she belongs.

It makes her feel

like she belongs.

I'm supposed to be

running lines with Ellen.

She'll have

the whole summer to do

that brother-sister bonding thing

she does with all the boys.

Sit.

You said you had

a fantastic surprise for me.

What is it?

What is it?

Surprise.

I'm going to ask if I can

dance with Stella jolla

in the "Turkey lurkey"

number.

I've been practicing

really hard.

That's the part

Jill wants to play.

"Turkey lurkey" is the

best number in the show.

I know.

I took dance classes

all winter.

Good for you.

Um...

Um...

The only thing is,

it's a '60s show.

That means

tight little miniskirts.

I'm just

trying to be a friend.

What are you saying,

that everyone

would see my legs?

Not that they're so bad.

They're just a little chunky.

But the halter tops.

I'd worry about my rolls

jiggling around

in the spotlight.

Whereas the secretary character

has some great one-liners

and wears sensible suits.

We just love it here.

We see a show

every summer.

What did we

see the kids do last year?

Wit.

Wit, right.

Dark,

but really entertaining.

Sadness.

Vlad, your cat's dead.

I'm sorry.

He was hit by a car

this afternoon.

Vlad, your mom's dead.

I'm sorry.

She got nailed

by a car this afternoon.

Sorry.

I like to practice

in the mirror.

Your parents coming

to your show?

Jesus, you still

haven't called 'em?

What are you going to do

when you have to go home?

I'm not going home.

Where you going to live?

I'll find an apartment.

You'll end up

on a milk carton.

They haven't

called me, either.

How much you wanna bet they

don't call me on my birthday?

How much you wanna bet they

don't call me on my birthday?

Then you have to be

bigger than them.

Mike,

how often are you going

to get cast as Romeo?

I mean it. Call 'em.

Besides, who can resist you

in them tights?

Are you blushing?

You kidding?

I'm doing everything

but bat my eyes.

Call 'em.

Hey!

Buddy Miller,

sports counselor.

Remember me?

Think fast.

Ow!

"Dear Mr. Flores,

the school has determined that

"due to your refusal

to wear either a tuxedo

"due to your refusal

to wear either a tuxedo

"or an ankle-length

formal gown,

"you failed

to meet the dress code,

"and therefore

appropriate action was taken

in refusing you entrance

to this year's junior prom."

You didn't get in

because of your hemline?

Vlad!

I've been looking

all over for you.

What are you drinking?

Chicken breast.

Chicken breast.

Don't you think

that's a little extreme?

It's her parents' idea,

the pricks.

Ow!

It's like

some Nazi experiment.

They're just

looking out for me.

You're only a few pounds

heavier than Ellen.

Tell me something...

Isn't it a pain in the ass

to put on

all that makeup every day?

I don't mind the extra effort so

people have something nice to look at.

I think she looks wonderful.

We know!

Looking good to attract

the opposite sex

has been a basic human impulse

for almost a thousand years.

Has been a basic human impulse

for almost a thousand years.

What about before that?

However old the world is.

You know, maybe if

you'd soften up a little,

you'd land yourself

a boyfriend

and lose that hostile edge

that's so unattractive.

Drop dead.

That's the one.

I'd be happy to help.

You could be my project.

I'll put you on a diet.

I'll style your hair.

Enough.

I heard about your little

line-learning session.

You got Vlad to put

his arm around you.

That must be like

third base for someone

who's never been touched

by a boy, isn't it?

Who's never been touched

by a boy, isn't it?

Ellen, wait.

Where do you think

you're going?

You know, I think I know

your sister cinderella.

There you are.

You disappeared so fast.

I looked everywhere for you.

Where's your girlfriend?

She's not my girlfriend.

Why'd you come after me?

I don't know.

'Cause you were upset.

She's a b*tch.

So was I.

She's a b*tch.

So was I.

No.

I like you, Ellen.

I like you, too.

I like you, too.

Okay.

Yeah.

What is it that

we're listening to, anyway?

Nothing.

I can't

deal with this anymore.

What?

I like regular music, too.

I like joni Mitchell.

I know every album by heart.

They have this great

new thing called drums.

They have this great

new thing called drums.

You're gonna love it.

What's so special

about this?

Sometimes it's nice

not to be special.

Sometimes it's nice to listen

to what everyone else listens to

just to be normal for once.

Dance with me.

Jump off the roof.

Come on, dance with me.

A**hole!

Just kidding.

Just kidding.

Fiddler on the roof?

This is the last straw.

Look at us.

Do we look like

any Jews you know?

You could be sephardic.

You could be sephardic.

Look at those curly things

on petie.

I don't think motel the tailor

used a lot of hair relaxer.

It's color-blind casting.

What do you want me to do?

Porgy and Bess?

Bring in 'da noise?

Why do we have to

play white characters

show after show,

summer after summer?

I don't have enough black kids

to do an all-black show.

I want my little brother

learning

he can be himself

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