Campfire Tales Page #3

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that lived in the town

it happened.

What's so funny?

I just remembered something.

What?

Do you remember

when Dad went to Las Vegas...

and I had

that really bad nosebleed?

No.

You were, like, I don't know,

five or six...

and it was really late.

You were sleeping...

and I was laying in Mom's bed...

and she just didn't know

what to do.

You know, she tried everything,

and nothing worked...

so she called Grandma...

and I guess

we must have woken you up...

because you were

standing in the doorway...

when the blood just started

pouring out of my nose.

This is funny to you?

Wait, wait, wait, wait.

So when mom saw it,

she dropped the phone...

and just fell backwards.

She fainted.

And then

you went over to the phone...

and you said,

"Grandma, Mom's dead...

and Lauren's bleeding to death

in bed."

And then you just

hung up the phone.

-Hey.

-Hey.

It's all right, Lauren.

It's OK, Lauren.

We're gonna be all right.

It'll be like, um...

another funny story.

What the hell was that?

What?

Cliff,

would you please not do this?

Oh, you're not scared,

are you, Cliffy?

You guys didn't hear that?

You think the flares

are still burning?

Yeah. We stacked them...

so they should burn

for, like, uh, a half hour.

Oh, man. F***.

Aw, sh*t.

I forgot to feed Dante.

Don't worry about it. I filled

his bowl before we left.

He's fine.

Really.

Yeah,

he's safe and sound at home.

Hey, that reminds me

of another story.

You guys want to hear it?

How about you, sweet cheeks?

All right, this is about a girl,

a little girl--Amanda.

It was the day before

her twelfth birthday.

She couldn't wait to get home.

I don't care if you were joking.

No, you embarrassed me

in front of my friends.

Well, maybe you should

have thought of that...

before you pissed me off.

Dad!

In the kitchen.

Did you get it?

Your birthday's tomorrow.

Oh, can't I please

have my bike tonight?

Bike. That would have been

a good idea.

Dad.

Hey, Odin. Come here, boy.

Is Mom home yet?

-Not yet.

-Come here.

Oh, what a good puppy.

Oh, come here, boy.

Uhh, uhh, yeah, uhh.

Listen, thanks for sticking

around with Amanda, Katherine.

You didn't wear that to school,

did you?

I did today.

-There she is.

-Sorry I'm late.

-Hi.

-Hi, girls.

Mom, did Dad buy my bike?

Uh, Mandy, you're gonna

spoil your appetite.

Mom.

Sorry. Amanda, you're gonna

spoil your appetite.

Katherine, you're wearing

that top we got. Looks cute.

-Uh, hi.

-I know, I know.

I'll be down in a minute.

-Better hurry.

-OK.

Oh, you guys hungry?

What do you guys want to order?

Uh, daddy, why don't you

just leave me the money...

and I can order us something?

Mm-hmm.

Here. Here.

Oh, I don't think

this is gonna be enough...

especially if we order Chinese.

You're like a sieve, Katherine.

Here's another ten.

Here's your split.

I'm going out tonight.

Don't tell anybody, OK?

# I'm waiting #

# For something

to come through #

Oh, come on.

-Amanda.

-Come in.

Hi, Mom. You look awesome.

Oh, thanks, honey.

So, is there anything

you want to warn me about...

before I see your teachers

tonight?

Oh. Actually,

you know Mr. Blackman?

Mm-hmm.

He caught me smoking

in the bathroom.

-What?

-I'm just kidding, mom.

Oh.

-I love you.

-Oh, I love you, too.

We're going out to dinner after,

so I'll see you in the morning.

-Don't work too hard.

-I won't.

Oh, and, honey,

Odin's been digging again...

so if he goes back outside

tonight...

make sure you wipe off his paws

when he comes in.

I will.

# No breathing #

# Your sweet melody #

# No boy talk #

# I'm waiting #

# With nothin' to do #

# I'm waiting #

# Just a-waiting on... #

OK, come on. Come on.

Oh, you're so silly, dog.

Come on. Odin.

Amanda!

What do you want?

If you touch my blow-dryer

again, you're dead.

Dina and l

are going out tonight.

If you tell Mom and Dad,

you're dead.

If you go in my room--

Let me guess--I'm dead.

Exactly.

More. Oh, you're my big boy.

What are you lookin' at?

I can't wait

till my party tomorrow.

Yeah, we're gonna have

a D.J. and everything.

Of course I invited Lisa.

All of the Lisas.

Oh, damn it.

I'll call you back, OK?

You go in the bushes and get it.

Flattery will get you nowhere.

I told you, I'm going out.

It's none of your business

where.

Amanda!

Out here!

No. Amanda!

No.

We'll discuss this later.

I told you, I'm going out.

If I wanted to tell you where,

I would have.

Jesus, you stink.

No. No, I wasn't talking to you.

I've got to go now.

OK, good-bye.

Good-bye. I'm hanging up now.

Good-bye.

I'll be back

before Mom and Dad get home.

Remember what I said.

I won't say anything.

I'll see you when you're twelve.

I hope you get your bike.

Are you digging again?

Come on, Odie. Out.

So, this is

what you were digging up.

It's just

a pair of old clippers.

Come on, Odin.

Come on, Odin.

Stay. Come here. Come here.

Oh, good boy.

Come on.

Night, Odin.

Odie.

Odin?

Odin?

Odin?

Are you in here?

Odin?

Yes!

Aah!

Is that you, Odin?

Hey, I've been looking all over

for you. Everything OK?

I was fine until

you scared the sh*t out of me!

Little brat.

There you are.

Yeah, you better hide.

I told you before.

Flattery will get you nowhere.

Aah!

Katherine! Call 911!

There's a man under my bed!

You've got to be kidding me.

And by the time

the cops got there...

the guy

was out her window and gone.

And they say

that they're still...

surfing the net

looking for this guy.

So, you ever get

in a chat room, Eric...

and "Jessica" comes on-line,

you get out quick.

Oh, God.

I gotta pee.

You want to come with me?

Yeah. Let's go.

Don't let the crows get you.

Ha ha.

Why are you so hard on Cliff?

I am not that hard on him.

Yeah, you are, Alex.

Oh, can't you tell

he's just joking?

God, Lauren, you're so clueless.

What, two days ago,

you were whining about...

how he wouldn't meet you

at Tracy's party, and...

And what?

And it seems like

you don't have time anymore...

for anyone except Cliff.

You know, that's bullshit.

Wait.

How about this weekend...

just you and me

do something together?

No guys?

No guys.

OK.

And about Cliff?

I really wish you would

just give him a chance.

You should see how sweet

and sensitive he can be.

So, you got hair

on your balls yet?

What?

You're so immature.

I guess that means no.

F*** you.

Look, it's no big deal,

you know, if you don't.

Thank you.

Lauren, just go already.

Ohh!

God, I hope

I don't get poison ivy.

Ha ha ha!

Hey, what was that?

What was that?

What?

You didn't see that?

Cut the sh*t, Cliff.

It's not funny anymore.

No, man, come on.

Look, I think there's someone

out there with a flashlight.

Look, let's just--

let's get back to the fire.

Oh, you guys are such a**holes.

You guys

should have seen yourselves.

You looked pretty hilarious.

Nice cheeks, Alex.

Don't worry. You'll get yours...

when you least expect it.

OK.

Hey, Lauren, can I get

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