Candy Jar Page #2

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and Harvard will give you a full ride,

just like Hemlock did.

Because we're poor.

No. Because you're smart.

And you're a hard worker.

And you're a kick-ass debater.

And because we're poor.

I'm just glad it'll all be over soon.

I'll be at Harvard and Bennett

will be at Yale, and that will be that.

You're right.

Good luck today, sweetie.

Oh, my God. It's not about luck, Mom.

We've been through this.

This isn't a sport, where the ball drifts

in and out of play

depending upon the weather.

This is a skilled event based on research,

memorization and execution,

where I am in charge of my own destiny.

- It's not about luck.

- Obviously.

I'm gonna go jump in the coffee

and make some shower.

Ladies and gentlemen, debaters and guests

welcome to the 51st Montague Classic.

The first round will be starting

in approximately ten minutes.

- Amy!

- Senator.

Senator? Please! Come on.

You know it's Julia. How are you?

I'm really well.

My daughter is the co-president

of the Hemlock Prep Academy

Debate Club, so...

How silly was that?

Co-presidents?

Well, I'm just glad

it all worked out in the end.

Actually, I don't think it worked out.

I think Lona deserved it.

And that's what makes you

such a great mom.

We should all feel that way

about our kids, right?

No, I think the fact

that she's the school's

only three-time state qualifier

makes her the best choice.

Well, sometimes we just gotta let

the system work, don't we?

It's good to see you, uh, Amy.

Good luck to your daughter.

It's not about luck, Julia.

Hello, I'm Bennett.

- Hey, nice to meet you.

- Nice to meet you.

All right, it's time. My name is Zach.

I'm gonna be your judge

for today's debate.

As previously assigned,

Hemlock Prep is gonna be arguing

for the affirmative

and Western for the negative.

- Any questions?

- How's Princeton?

It's going great. Thanks, Lona.

How are you?

I'm just glad you're judging

and not sitting over there.

All right, you're up.

Is anyone not ready?

I affirm the costs of a college education

are outweighed by the benefits.

As of 2011, student loan debt and credit

card debt topped one trillion dollars...

In the evidence previously mentioned,

the numbers suggest that we...

That is why you must vote aff.

Is anyone not ready?

I negate that the costs of

a college education outweigh the benefits.

...has effectively become the threshold

for middle class and family income.

In 1970 almost 60%

of high school graduates, um,

were in middle school

but that number plummeted...

That's why you must vote neg.

I'm voting with the affirmative,

Hemlock Prep.

Is anyone not ready?

I negate the costs of a college education

outweigh the benefits.

One:
during times of economic depression

college educations are vital.

Given the uncertain nature of the economy

a college education can function

as an insurance policy.

First, the demand for college degrees

is rising.

Getting a college education

is more important than ever.

...significant amount of gains associated

with higher lifetime earnings.

If people have more money in their pockets

they're able to spend that money...

The labor report we provided predicts

job openings will soon increase

as the Baby Boomer generation

continues to retire.

Therefore, we should encourage

college graduation

to ensure people have enough

disposable income

to contribute to national

and global economies.

A college education remains

the best option...

And that is why you must vote neg.

Ladies and gentlemen,

welcome to the awards ceremony

of the 51st Annual Classic.

These are some of the biggest statuettes

I've ever seen.

And we did that on purpose.

Okay, I have a stupid question.

- There are no stupid questions.

- Just stupid people.

Uninformed. She means uninformed.

What's your question?

Why do you talk so fast when you debate?

A few years back, they changed the rules

so we only have eight minutes per round.

And then everyone started speaking faster

to get more points.

The more arguments you make,

the more arguments your opponents

have to respond to.

But you can't understand

what you're saying.

- You can't.

- You can?

Nobody can.

Everyone emails judges and opponents

everything right before the debate.

So everyone's reading.

And that's a good tip for all of you.

When you're debating, don't get bored

by the sound of your own voice.

Be bored by the other person's voice.

Are you guys done?

Shouldn't there be one more round

of debates?

- What about the finals?

- That's a great question.

But the last two standing

are from the same school.

You can't debate against your own school.

- Stupid rule.

- So what happens then?

Co-champions, ladies and gentlemen,

from Hemlock Prep Academy,

Lona Skinner and Bennett Russell!

- Lona, congratulations.

- Thank you.

- Bennett, congratulations.

- Thank you.

Are you sure we filled out

the financial part correctly?

Well, you're going to community college

if we didn't.

Mom!

It's fine. I took it to an H&R Block guy.

And that guy says you're getting in.

And he went to Brown University,

which I think

is also an Ivy League school.

No?

It is. Brown University! Right?

It's good, Lona. It really is.

- I only have one question.

- What?

Is it all true?

I mean, in my day if I mowed one lawn,

I put down "landscape architect."

I saw one black and white movie,

the thing said "cinematic historian."

It's okay. You can tell me.

It's all true.

Right answer.

Is anything missing?

Honestly, yes.

- One thing.

- What?

What?

My lucky stamp.

Your application

is now guidance counselor-certified

and gets my stamp of approval.

It's a tradition.

What's the success rate of your students?

One hundred percent of my students

end up at the institution

where they're meant to be.

Oh, God.

Oh, what are you worried about?

Who did your mom get to write you a letter

of recommendation to get into Yale?

- Someone who went to Harvard.

- Just someone who went to Harvard.

Barack Obama.

- Barack Obama.

- He's a family friend.

Family friend, Barack Obama.

He also used to be

President of the United States.

Yeah, I know. I voted for him.

And I went to school with him.

And I dated his brother-in-law.

That's two truths and a lie.

You pick the lie.

- So you'll mail it out for me?

- Oh, no, no.

You have to take this down

to the school mailbox

and mail it yourself.

Because when you're my age,

all your high school memories

blend in together.

Except for a very few moments.

And 50 bucks says this is one of them.

Don't worry.

- Take your time.

- Of course.

It's just, you know, Harvard.

That's a very good school.

I'm sure you'll be very competitive.

I'm going to Yale.

- Oh, that's a good one, too.

- Thank you.

Thank you.

All right.

What are you doing?

- What does it look like?

- Yeah, but you need to be getting ready.

I have plenty of time.

This is more important.

I have the regional qualifier

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