Capers Page #2
- PG-13
- Year:
- 2008
- 86 min
- 60 Views
- That's right
that's right
That's my trip
Black, white,
and half niggas like
"That's my sh*t"
- You'd think the moolies
would've scared
everybody else away.
But every few years,
a new mongrel shows up.
All of a sudden,
we're surrounded
by goddamn Sputniks.
- Give my regards
to Broadway
Remember me to Harold Square
Tell all the gang
at 42nd Street
that I will soon be there
- Thank you.
- [screams]
- [imitates phone ringing]
Technical support,
how I help you?
[imitates phone ringing]
You reach hotline,
what's your problem?
[imitates phone ringing]
Hello and God Bless America.
How may I support you
technically?
How was audition?
- They called police.
- You should work on singing.
- Slava.
Walk.
- Lana.
What did you do?
- They do not understand
my passion.
- We came here to be
upstanding peoples.
- We came here to work.
- We cannot work without papers.
We cannot get papers
because they fear us.
They fear us because
you kill other actress.
- Slava.
We have no money, no work.
Everyone hates us.
- Still better than home.
- It will take ten years
to become real American.
We need rent now.
- Maybe you should
dance exotically.
- We need new plan.
- I am Lana.
We spoke on phone.
- Right.
For two, $100,000.
- How long?
- Get me the money, a week
later, you got a new name.
- Can I choose name?
- What name you want?
- Sparkles.
- $5,000 extra.
- I do not have enough.
- What do you have?
- Nothing.
- You're screwed.
[dramatic string music]
You think I fall for that sh*t?
Go get a green card,
Betsy Wetsy.
- Since 9/11 they do not give.
- I'm tired of you lousy DPs
coming in here.
- What is DP?
- Dumb Polack.
- I am from Chechnya.
- You look like a hucka lucka.
- What is hucka lucka?
- Towelhead.
- We are Arab Slavs.
- Wonderful.
Get me 100 grand
or go back to riding camels
in the snow.
Why do you want to be
a citizen anyway?
- So I can be Broadway actress
and my brother can perform
technical support.
- Get me the money,
you'll be an American.
I have no idea if you can act.
So far I'm not impressed.
Good night.
- Where's the loot?
What's that?
- Four sweaters.
- Four sweaters?
- Yeah, they're cashmere.
- What about the safe?
- Yeah, what about the safe?
Is there something you forget
to tell me about that?
- No.
- No?
The safe had buttons.
- The safe had buttons?
- Yeah, the safe had buttons.
- What about the dial?
- No dial, just buttons.
- Son of a b*tch.
- You take 'em to Connie?
- Yeah.
She told me to shoot myself
in the face.
- One of these days
she's gonna get whacked.
- It's never gonna happen.
She's too connected.
- Come on.
If the Don left her
so much money,
why's she running
that pawnshop?
- It's a front.
You know that little safe
she's got on the counter?
- Yeah.
- There's like
a million bucks in there.
out in the open like that?
- To show you she's untouchable.
- I hate that b*tch.
She gives us no respect.
- Why would she give us
any respect?
- Me and Harry got to get out
of the city.
It's poisonous.
- Tell you the truth...
been thinkin' about a boat.
- What do you mean,
thinkin' about a boat?
Like you wanna live on a boat?
- We could sail down
to the Jersey shore,
breathe in the fresh air...
- I didn't even know
you liked boats.
- I love boats.
- I like boats too.
- You know you made it
when you got a boat.
- Let's get a boat.
- Boats are a fortune, Fitzy.
- So let's do a job.
Let's do a real job.
- Shake it baby
Don't stop
Gettin' crazy
Punk rock
Everybody get it, get it
Don't stop
Get it, get it
Shake it like
you're getting some
Stick it like chewing gum
Shake it till you know
it's fun
That boy insane
You come
Then we walk
across the floor
One by one,
they drop drawers
Here they come like cop cars
You really want to get yours
Get yours, get yours
Get yours, get yours
- Look at all this sh*t.
Niggas and flies,
two things I can't get rid of.
- But first you got to watch
Baby, then we got to talk
Baby, then we got to walk
Baby, to your house in style
Baby, then we gonna
go inside
- Hi.
What's your name?
- Emily.
- Would you like some juice,
Emily?
- Where's my mommy?
- Who's this?
- This is Lila.
- Do you and Lila like chess?
You know how to play?
Well, you want me
to teach you?
- Are you my new mommy?
- What's behind your ear?
- How did you do that?
- I'm gonna teach you.
- Well, we were about to
learn chess.
- She needs to learn this first.
This is gangsta.
[loud hip-hop music]
- Hey, baby, I was thinking,
as much as I hate
that Connie b*tch,
maybe we should take
the 20 grand.
I mean, I know it's a bad deal.
- What?
- I'm talkin' about Emily.
- Emily?
What you talkin' about
Emily for?
[music stops]
- She's gold, baby.
I mean, we should take
the 20 grand.
We could pay off everything.
And you know what?
Finally the Negroes
get to sell a white kid.
- Ronald.
- What you wanna do, baby?
Oh, no?
- Well, what else are we doin'?
We made all this money.
We got all this stuff.
We can't pay our bills.
We're not happy.
- No.
- But this is clean, Ronny.
She's already eight.
She's house-trained.
She can count.
The rest is easy.
- Do you know how much it costs
to raise a kid?
- Well, Moose says
it's about 40 grand a year...
[together] Assuming
she doesn't need braces.
- You've been talkin' to Moose?
You've been thinkin' about it.
- You really want to bring a kid
into this life?
- No.
We got to clean up.
- We can't afford to clean up.
I ain't sendin' that kid
to public school.
She may end up unsavory.
- Well, we have to set
an example.
- We need a lot of money
to get out.
- So we do one more job.
- And you think robbing somebody
is setting a good example?
- If that somebody deserves it.
- What did Connie say?
- I hate that b*tch.
- How much?
- $100,000.
- So we go to Russian mafia.
- They will charge same.
- What will we do?
- We have to do job.
- We don't do that anymore.
- If they find us
and send us back to Chechnya,
we will have no choice.
- $100,000
is big job.
- That b*tch Connie
has millions.
- Bad idea.
- She is old.
Easily scared.
[phone rings]
- Yeah?
- Hello, may I speak to Connie?
- Who the hell is this?
- Put $200,000 in bag.
Put bag in garbage can
on corner.
- What?
- Put $200,000 in bag.
Put bag in garbage can
on corner.
- Why would I do that?
- Do it...
or I will give you cancer.
- Is this that ruble head?
- We are Arab Slavs.
- Dougie!
- Yeah, Grandma?
- I need you to move the safe.
- Did you get the money?
- No.
- What will we do?
- I will call her and try again.
- Okay.
- I will call her ad infinitum
until we get money.
- When comes ad infinitum?
[phone rings]
- Again?
[phone ringing]
[grunts]
- [gasps]
Dougie!
- Your men out front
are protecting you.
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"Capers" Scripts.com. STANDS4 LLC, 2024. Web. 22 Dec. 2024. <https://www.scripts.com/script/capers_5027>.
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