Capers Page #2

Synopsis: Three teams of criminals share the same Brooklyn block, but each exists in a separate genre of film. The Amateurs are trapped in a 1970's anti-hero movie. The Sputniks live in black and white. The Moolies can't escape their rap video life.
Genre: Action, Comedy, Crime
Director(s): Julian M. Kheel
Production: Numeric Pictures
  2 wins.
 
IMDB:
5.4
PG-13
Year:
2008
86 min
60 Views


- That's right

that's right

That's my trip

Black, white,

and half niggas like

"That's my sh*t"

- You'd think the moolies

would've scared

everybody else away.

But every few years,

a new mongrel shows up.

All of a sudden,

we're surrounded

by goddamn Sputniks.

- Give my regards

to Broadway

Remember me to Harold Square

Tell all the gang

at 42nd Street

that I will soon be there

- Thank you.

- [screams]

- [imitates phone ringing]

Technical support,

how I help you?

[imitates phone ringing]

You reach hotline,

what's your problem?

[imitates phone ringing]

Hello and God Bless America.

How may I support you

technically?

How was audition?

- They called police.

- You should work on singing.

- Slava.

Walk.

- Lana.

What did you do?

- They do not understand

my passion.

- We came here to be

upstanding peoples.

- We came here to work.

- We cannot work without papers.

We cannot get papers

because they fear us.

They fear us because

you kill other actress.

- Slava.

We have no money, no work.

Everyone hates us.

- Still better than home.

- It will take ten years

to become real American.

We need rent now.

- Maybe you should

dance exotically.

- We need new plan.

- I am Lana.

We spoke on phone.

- Right.

For two, $100,000.

- How long?

- Get me the money, a week

later, you got a new name.

- Can I choose name?

- What name you want?

- Sparkles.

- $5,000 extra.

- I do not have enough.

- What do you have?

- Nothing.

- You're screwed.

[dramatic string music]

You think I fall for that sh*t?

Go get a green card,

Betsy Wetsy.

- Since 9/11 they do not give.

- I'm tired of you lousy DPs

coming in here.

- What is DP?

- Dumb Polack.

- I am from Chechnya.

- You look like a hucka lucka.

- What is hucka lucka?

- Towelhead.

- We are Arab Slavs.

- Wonderful.

Get me 100 grand

or go back to riding camels

in the snow.

Why do you want to be

a citizen anyway?

- So I can be Broadway actress

and my brother can perform

technical support.

- Get me the money,

you'll be an American.

I have no idea if you can act.

So far I'm not impressed.

Good night.

- Where's the loot?

What's that?

- Four sweaters.

- Four sweaters?

- Yeah, they're cashmere.

- What about the safe?

- Yeah, what about the safe?

Is there something you forget

to tell me about that?

- No.

- No?

The safe had buttons.

- The safe had buttons?

- Yeah, the safe had buttons.

- What about the dial?

- No dial, just buttons.

- Son of a b*tch.

- You take 'em to Connie?

- Yeah.

She told me to shoot myself

in the face.

- One of these days

she's gonna get whacked.

- It's never gonna happen.

She's too connected.

- Come on.

If the Don left her

so much money,

why's she running

that pawnshop?

- It's a front.

You know that little safe

she's got on the counter?

- Yeah.

- There's like

a million bucks in there.

- Then why would she leave it

out in the open like that?

- To show you she's untouchable.

- I hate that b*tch.

She gives us no respect.

- Why would she give us

any respect?

- Me and Harry got to get out

of the city.

It's poisonous.

- Where do you wanna go now?

- Tell you the truth...

been thinkin' about a boat.

- What do you mean,

thinkin' about a boat?

Like you wanna live on a boat?

- We could sail down

to the Jersey shore,

breathe in the fresh air...

- I didn't even know

you liked boats.

- I love boats.

- I like boats too.

- You know you made it

when you got a boat.

- Let's get a boat.

- Boats are a fortune, Fitzy.

- So let's do a job.

Let's do a real job.

- Shake it baby

Don't stop

Gettin' crazy

Punk rock

Everybody get it, get it

Don't stop

Get it, get it

Shake it like

you're getting some

Stick it like chewing gum

Shake it till you know

it's fun

That boy insane

You come

Then we walk

across the floor

One by one,

they drop drawers

Here they come like cop cars

You really want to get yours

Get yours, get yours

Get yours, get yours

- Look at all this sh*t.

Niggas and flies,

two things I can't get rid of.

- But first you got to watch

Baby, then we got to talk

Baby, then we got to walk

Baby, to your house in style

Baby, then we gonna

go inside

- Hi.

What's your name?

- Emily.

- Would you like some juice,

Emily?

- Where's my mommy?

- Who's this?

- This is Lila.

- Do you and Lila like chess?

You know how to play?

Well, you want me

to teach you?

- Are you my new mommy?

- What's behind your ear?

- How did you do that?

- I'm gonna teach you.

- Well, we were about to

learn chess.

- She needs to learn this first.

This is gangsta.

[loud hip-hop music]

- Hey, baby, I was thinking,

as much as I hate

that Connie b*tch,

maybe we should take

the 20 grand.

I mean, I know it's a bad deal.

- What?

- I'm talkin' about Emily.

- Emily?

What you talkin' about

Emily for?

[music stops]

- She's gold, baby.

I mean, we should take

the 20 grand.

We could pay off everything.

And you know what?

Finally the Negroes

get to sell a white kid.

- Ronald.

- What you wanna do, baby?

Oh, no?

- Well, what else are we doin'?

We made all this money.

We got all this stuff.

We can't pay our bills.

We're not happy.

- No.

- But this is clean, Ronny.

She's already eight.

She's house-trained.

She can count.

The rest is easy.

- Do you know how much it costs

to raise a kid?

- Well, Moose says

it's about 40 grand a year...

[together] Assuming

she doesn't need braces.

- You've been talkin' to Moose?

You've been thinkin' about it.

- You really want to bring a kid

into this life?

- No.

We got to clean up.

- We can't afford to clean up.

I ain't sendin' that kid

to public school.

She may end up unsavory.

- Well, we have to set

an example.

- We need a lot of money

to get out.

- So we do one more job.

- And you think robbing somebody

is setting a good example?

- If that somebody deserves it.

- What did Connie say?

- I hate that b*tch.

- How much?

- $100,000.

- So we go to Russian mafia.

- They will charge same.

- What will we do?

- We have to do job.

- We don't do that anymore.

- If they find us

and send us back to Chechnya,

we will have no choice.

- $100,000

is big job.

- That b*tch Connie

has millions.

- Bad idea.

- She is old.

Easily scared.

[phone rings]

- Yeah?

- Hello, may I speak to Connie?

- Who the hell is this?

- Put $200,000 in bag.

Put bag in garbage can

on corner.

- What?

- Put $200,000 in bag.

Put bag in garbage can

on corner.

- Why would I do that?

- Do it...

or I will give you cancer.

- Is this that ruble head?

- We are Arab Slavs.

- Dougie!

- Yeah, Grandma?

- I need you to move the safe.

- Did you get the money?

- No.

- What will we do?

- I will call her and try again.

- Okay.

- I will call her ad infinitum

until we get money.

- When comes ad infinitum?

[phone rings]

- Again?

[phone ringing]

[grunts]

- [gasps]

Dougie!

- Your men out front

are protecting you.

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Brett Halsey

Brett Halsey (born Charles Oliver Hand on June 20, 1933 in Santa Ana, California) is an American film actor, sometimes credited as Montgomery Ford. He had a prolific career in B pictures and in European-made feature films. He originated the role of John Abbott on the soap opera The Young and the Restless, a role he filled only from May 1980 to March 1981, when he was replaced by Jerry Douglas.Halsey is a great-nephew of the United States Navy Admiral William F. Halsey, Jr., also known as Bull Halsey, commander of the Pacific Allied naval forces during World War II. Universal Pictures selected Brett Halsey's acting name from the admiral. more…

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Submitted on August 05, 2018

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